The Art of Sorting

My dear mermaid hearts, 

In the last few weeks, I have sorted clothing, crafting items, old scrapbooking containers, supplies, books, furniture, childhood diaries, paintings, ideas, theories, and my thoughts, dear me.

My cherished mermaid hearts, at long last, I believe I have captured that coveted Victorian old-timey charm I’ve so ardently sought for our dear cottage. As you may recall, the windows, though fashioned of modern white plastic, have been artfully transformed to mirror the visage of a stone cottage with a thatched roof. Next year, we shall embark upon the stoning of the exterior and, thereafter, replace the tin roof with one of thatched design in the manner of Somerset. 

It strikes me as a most wondrous manifestation, for if you gaze upon the painting of Mrs Threadgoode’s cottage in "The Tale of the Christmas Bunnies" (due out next month, as shown in the illustration below), the likeness is uncanny. It reveals how we, as conscious creators, continually weave the fabric of our reality through the loom of imagination. Indeed, there is an out-picturing of our inner visions.

I concocted the green paint swatch with my own hands for the original hue hails from Beatrix Potter’s Hilltop home in Sawrey. Alas, as the paint company in the UK does not dispatch their wares across the seas, I procured the swatch and matched it myself. With this homemade swatch in hand, I ventured to Lowe’s, where I crafted my own sample, later perfected by the fine artisans at Sherwin-Williams. Undoubtedly, Sherwin-Williams stands as the finest purveyor of paints, a venerable Victorian establishment founded in 1866. I have christened this hue with my own title—'Sage and Pickle.'

Indeed, all of the research for my "A Victorian Mermaid (Louis Vuitton) Agenda" (a planner that has manifesting, self-development, time management and the critical elements to building a beautiful "Take Joy" fairytale life) is all due to my decades of study, theory, systematic testing, organisation of mindset work and efficient time management skills. My teachings and my planner kits (all individually handmade, by the way) will be the manifestation of my years of self-mastery and skill. That sounded a bit like I was 'bigging' myself up, and i make no bones about it. I am rather boastful regarding my organisational time management skills, darling. You know, as well as I do, that we must be our own best cheering advocate. Upon this cheering of myself, please afford yourself the notion I believe deeply in myself. In order to be able and complete in stating that boldly, it took me decades to do with the deep inner work of healing all of my chakras and in regards to my religious wounds and trauma. I am so proud of myself because today, I can say that with no one's help and all of my blood, sweat, and tears, I accomplished what many women never do in a lifetime. I fully intend to share my processes with you in the coming months.

I have a well-detailed book to arrive on shelves in January (the above photo is a bit cropped, but it will look relatively close to this with a few bits of gold trim on the sides), as well as my planner kits and programs you will be able to purchase. I want to share and teach women how to heal themselves and reach their most tremendous potential. Once upon a time, not so long ago, I desired for everyone to be a part of my programs and teachings. However, my darling, as I've expanded even more so and healed nearly all of my trauma, I now conclude this space here is where only high-vibrational women feel compelled to participate in our self-love voyage. This assumption is not a consideration of anything other than we as bygone mermaids wading in our mirrored reflection of matching our likeness to another equalled vibrational bygone mermaid. In fact, low vibrational landlocked women will not want to be a part of our (Stillwater- A Petticoat Society) mermaid community because, as you know, in spirituality, one must be equally yoked with another. A low-frequency person will find the notions we discuss (the particulars i speak about here and on ye ol' tube) a bit off-putting. They can't resonate with high vibrational mermaid beings; the law simply doesn't work that way. 

In addition, I feel you should also regard yourself as a wondrous marvel, a gem of the rarest kind, whose brilliance doth illuminate the very fabric of existence. 

My blog doth serve as a sanctuary for Bygone Mermaids (ladies) of the highest celestial vibration, where only those of the most exalted essence may gather and partake in the splendour of elevated discourse. Our lives, tho', without perfection, were not intended for the original admonition of 'The Great Creator's' objective. The aim was continually purposeful to advancement and expandedness, to rediscover our fierce resilience, build faith (trust) and Take Joy. We are to create our heaven, our mindset of conscious reality. My life has repeatedly found favour from the highest; therefore, this is why i so deeply love sharing with you, my dear mermaid hearts; how very much when we assemble here, we exchange love and a like-minded connotation of belonging.

You must know, indeed you must, that all of my prattling on this blog, Instagram, and YouTube is because I profoundly want to enable women to become their most excellent versions of themselves. In my humble opinion, we as women have gone on for far too long, mustering against one another rather than converging. I am not here to do this work for you but rather to guide you through your navigational map, your true north. Anyone claiming to be of the collective must never hinder one's sovereignty nor translate a dependence upon another soul. For one, this mindset is located on the lowest scale of the map of consciousness and breeds low frequency. One, i do not encourage leaning on someone. We must learn to trust ourselves, for when folks rely on another at the expense of losing their self-worth, personal empowerment is detrimental and creates false idolatry. I've seen many o' people practise this with pastors, bishops, men of the cloth, and celebrities. It also creates dependence in a "leader" where their ego becomes inflated with disadvantages of glorification as idol notions of thinking one person is above another.

I have been working out all the bits and bobs for my planner kits; therefore, I will have everything lovely, pleasantly beautiful, and organised. I plan to create each planner kit by hand, dear ladies. I can relatively quickly remind myself that we are cheering and tethered together as friends. 

I enjoy pondering life in my old Victorian cosy chair by the terrace window. The bird feeder hanging in Sawyer's pear tree is rather enjoyable. I like to sit and perch in my ol' Victorian seat as if i am a mermaid queen. In the last five years (can you believe we've been here at my folks that long), as i am a bit like Goldilocks in trying to find a spot where i can engage in the solemn quietness of slow living, I have missed having my own little chipmunks nest, which is why i must sort and organise. My serenity and productivity in working on my art, manuscripts, or planner kits are essential. My moon sign is in cancer, and i have prominent Virgo house placements, which is why i am an extreme perfectionist and highly organised. By the way, that is a good thing; when the requirement is efficiency and accomplishments, I am your go-to buzzy lass.

I created a little sitting room for my Beloved Gardener, Jeffrey Shawn, and me. I have taken some time away from social media due to the several programs I've been writing about, planning our first social gathering at Chinsegut Hill, and my two books coming out within months. 

Last week, i posted several videos on ye ol' tube, and i shall leave you with this one, which i think you might enjoy. 

My darling, do not be remiss. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, like, and comment, as this allows the algorithm to go all abuzz, and my mermaid message in a bottle will spread far and wide upon the ocean seas. Thank you in advance for heeding the call. 

I love you, and as always, i am most affably yours til my next swim.

Love, Razzy 

Reviving Our Historic Heart~ A Victorian Mischief Night At Chinsegut Hill

Good morning, Dear mermaid hearts, 

I hope you are well. Let me share a few measures with you. I've been toiling away in the cottage, where Jeffrey Shawn and I finished all the painting, organising and completing the cottage. Well, there are a few more bits to cover, but for the most part, it is ship shape and bristol fashion. We have three more 10-foot-long shelves to install near the top of the ceiling, which will take place at the weekend; however, other than that and a few other bits and bobs, we have officially completed the cottage. I'm stretched out on our antique bed now, and I'm penning this post for ye ole' blog.

 

What else have i been getting up to, you ask? 

I have been creating an exclusive Twin Flame Manifestation Program with loads of modules and interactive discords, which is taking up most of my time (and i will share a whole article about it in tomorrow's post, along with my next YouTube video). Today, I am finally talking about launching what will become ongoing retreats and small social gatherings sponsored by The Carter Settlement in collaboration with Chinsegut Hill & The Retreat Centre. 

Therefore, without further ado, here is the advertisement for the first gathering at Chinsegut Hill. If you are interested in attending, please sign up quickly using the link at the bottom of this post, as there are limited spots. I understand it is early in August, and there is much time between now and then; however, the spots will go rather quickly, so if you think it would be something you would enjoy, I would not diddle daddle, darling. I have already sold three seats. Take a moment and read all the fun details. Do you recognise the Victorian mermaid? It is Elizabeth Robins, the (America-born) British actress who purchased Chinsegut Hill and lived there for a bit of time before moving back to Sussex, her 15th-century rambling on the outskirts of Henfield called "Backsettown." If you recall, Elizabeth is the protagonist of my novel Deceit and Dissension.

To purchase Tickets for:

A Victorian Mischief Night at Chinsegut Hill

The Art of Maintaining Victorian Correspondence

Good morning, my darlings,

Did you make a cup of tea? I made my very first Victoria Sponge Cake. I cleaned out a pretty ol' flower tin and lined it with wax paper for the leftover bits of cake, as, according to the chef for The Queen, that is what one does with the uneaten bits.

I thoroughly love the art of letter writing. As early as I can recall, being a young girl capable of holding a writing instrument (pencil), I diligently worked to master not only my penmanship but also letter writing. The art of letter writing has kept me in good stead for life as my soul led me quite early on once captured. Once, whilst in my thirties, I made the New Year's resolution to write five letters to friends weekly for an entire year. I never missed it once. Of all five ladies, with the exclusion of one friend, correspondence was not reciprocated. To this day, I still cherish those letters from my friend Debby. I have letters and cards stored away in my father's smithy saved from childhood.
My darling, dear reader and friend, as you know, I created {Raquel's Letterbox in-the-Hedge}, which you can find here and write to me. Feel free to write whatever you'd like to your heart's content. You can ask me questions if you'd like or send me whatever you feel inspired to. I constructed this particular notion as another way to reflect on times gone by. I look upon the Victorian era as best as I can and strive to impart my thoughts and findings to you, dear heart. I believe quite strongly there are many women similar to me (perhaps not as daring and adventurous) regarding the Victorian way of life in general but with particular subjects like letter writing, most definitely. I have been fascinated with the Victorian era since childhood. I love imparting my knowledge and discoveries. My concept of hearkening baxk to the good ol' days of letter writing will attract my kind of woman, a like-minded sort. I have been working most diligently these last several years to embark on my way of life as a Victorian, through living as much as i can daily as a Victorian. Many challenges arise.

One of those things is that it is relatively rare for many to share the same obsession with Victorian living as I do. I am not upset or disillusioned by this notion; far be it, i have concluded that it sets me apart from others. Conceivably, my silver lining, darling. Do not be under the impression I am putting on airs and that I do not understand that everything is never what it seems. The dynamics of one's life are full of mystery, is it not? We are in a constant state of growth. We as women are so full of possibility and wonderment, and I immensely admire that about us; we are individually so very unique. Whereas i am making great strides to learn historically all i can and then to incorporate those bits into my real life, it is an ongoing voyage and always will be.

This concept of letter writing is in hopes that it will attract my kind of folks. Throughout these past few years, i have endeavoured to create a little Victorian society of a bygone era where women and young women alike can bond over old-fashioned notions. In 2019, when my dear boy transitioned, I decided to dive even more deeply into living as Victorian as possible. That began with my clothing and wearing a corset. Now, mind you, it was not an overnight process once I decided to embark on this ongoing venture. Even more so, my findings have been that there aren't too many other souls that I have met or learned of that are quite so smitten to the degree I am. I do understand that many folks like the idea of an old-fashioned life; however, when it truly comes to the bits and bobs of such a life (with exceptions, of course), I have found they like to decorate and, on occasion, wear some collected Victorian period clothing to a tea party for example. Other than that, they turn their nose to the notion of actually attempting to live like a Victorian.

Now, as I have shared previously, if you were to pop in to visit me at my little Scarlette Rose cottage, the illusion may break your heart. I say this because as much as i do have an old icebox and lanterns for lighting, i currently have to use a hot plate, as i haven't saved enough financially yet to afford my 19th-century wood-burning stove. The one I've been eyeing is well over 6000 dollars. Nor have I yet to save the funds for the exterior stone or thatching to envelop the cottage, and the outhouse requires a 3000-dollar commode. I have to follow a specific code for an outhouse configuration. I will get there eventually, though, don’t you worry? All is well, and when i do, i will invite you to tea. However, i do not allow any of those sorts of drawbacks to waiver me in my desires, for what would the fun of life be if we had everything at a moment's notice? In truth, we would be as bored as one could be.
Our world is based on gravitational pull. Furthermore, our dear little hearts couldn't take things in an instantaneous manner.

Inherently, our lives are achieved by softly falling into place with ease and delight. The ticket is to learn to embrace this notion, which is not as easy to acquire for most folks. I am creating a sweet bequest of a Victorian english cottage. I am an American, although I moved to Europe when I was six weeks old. My father was in the war. I always think that living in Europe at such a young age significantly impacted my psyche. Call me mad; however, my mum is right mad for English too and has always been since I can remember drawing breath.

I am currently sitting in my parlour (makeshift sewing area) with kerosene light all aglow. All the world is quiet. I have a hot cup of Fortnum and Mason tea as I write to you. I enjoy handwriting the post for the blog and then transcribing it onto the computer. It suits me well, and there's something about (and scientific proof it relates to the brain of connection) when we physically write. I think the actual writing of the hand and stringing words together sounds lovelier than merely typing onto a screen anyway.
Many hearts have stood broken upon visiting Tasha Tudor Little Corgi Cottage. I have heard many women declare they lost the fantasy of illusion upon discovering that Tasha Tudor had a little modern kitchen off the back of her home for appliances. First, one must understand that the art of becoming a Victorian woman is not instantaneous, just as in real life; there are seasons and gestational periods; nothing happens overnight. In this manner, I look very forward to daily visits to the post-awaiting keenly. I am faintly dissatisfied with the modern envelopes these days; hence, when I send you letters in return, I must ask the post to hand cancel each letter as thee' ol' wax and seal will not go through the machine. Have a lovely day, and i look forward to hearing from you.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Razz

Connecting The Dots

"One cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something—your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down and has made all the difference in my life." ~Steve Jobs

I reviewed my royalty sales records at the weekend and realised I had worked as an official author and illustrator for six years.

Today, I've decided to focus on my books and my blog writing with intense clarity. I have been doing well in remaining consistent, but I realise my passion and consistency have not been up to par, and I should hone my craft more than ever. I've spent so many years wanting to have a beautiful home, my "Cottage of Belonging," to feel like I can write and do my best work, not realising I AM doing my best work now. I am very proud of myself regardless of what others would ever say. I am a New York Times best-selling author because I decided that several years ago. Let them call us delusional, for it's the delusional ones who change the world. Hell or high water, my spirit is determined. I have beat the odds; no more looking to the future of "then I'll be happy." I am resetting myself to remain firmly focused and aligned. My greatest passion and most profound love is my writing. It is how I make sense of the world. 

Most importantly, i must remain focused on my writing at all costs. Until a few days ago, the excuse was that because I am a Pisces constantly all over the place, that was acceptable, and I couldn't change it, but that is a silly ol' belief. I am changing that belief as it serves me not an ounce of value. Furthermore, many successful folks are Pisces. That's not to say it has ever been a bad thing. Still, after several days of hypnosis, I think my subconscious mind is guiding me to my most authentic self. At the heart of who I am, yes, an artist and many other things, but a writer is who I am at my core. My writing has never betrayed me. Letters and words have literally saved my life. Quite honestly, when Sawyer died, the first thing I did was write a little storybook to heal my heart. That book then took four years to release into the world because as beautiful as it was to write, I couldn't bring myself to illustrate it. To illustrate, I had to reread my manuscript, and the words hurt me deeply. The little scenarios in the book were actual events that occurred in life. I had to take a tragedy and turn it into a triumph of never-ending happiness. Therefore, the manuscript went into a cupboard for years until I could come to terms with the death. In addition, the book represented my child, so in essence, i felt as long as i held onto that book, i was keeping my boy with me, and no one could take him from me, but once I let go, I was in my heart letting him go. Dear friend, I could not do it straight away. It tore my heart out, so I sat with those feelings and allowed myself permission to feel the pain. I had to allow myself to grow, walk through all the steps, and know it was all okay.

My mum (well-intentioned and wanting to help) said to me, "You just need to understand that he's in a better place and that I needed to stop using the "F" word so much." Don't ever tell a mother that. That was the day I let Hell's fury on her because no one has the right to say to a mother how to heal the death of their child. I know my mum meant well, so mum, if you’re reading this, you know i adore you.

If I want to angrily scream at the top of my lungs or use profanities, then that is what a mother gets to do. Do not ever think one must be appropriate. If I am not hurting anyone, I can grieve how I choose, and I'll not stand for any of that nonsense on stilts from folks who haven't a clue of such pain. 

If I have to write for decades undiscovered, that is what I'll do; although, I do not believe that will happen. I have a mission and a life purpose. My work is bigger than me, and I am built for this. 

Do you know a woman said to me in an email once when I released Sawyer's book "The Tale of Sawyer Lamb" last year on his birthday, and I quote, "Who cares you wrote a stupid children's book? Anyone can write a dumb children's book? It doesn't take much to string a sentence or two together. You're not special or smart."

So when anyone wonders about the things done to me by others and Sawyer's father specifically (because he should've been a person there for me as i am the mother of his children) when my boy passed, you will understand after reading my book, "The Little Mermaid's Transformational Tale why i struggled so deeply." I have consistently beat the odds. After spending decades, my sanity tested, endeavouring to drive me to madness, I almost took my own life. No, and that wasn't even enough; I then endured heinous things behind the scenes to make me appear crazy to those who knew me. This kind of tactic from a narcissist is what I am also writing in my book. This kind of abuse must be brought to the open, because perhaps if i had known what was happening it wouldn't have taken me almost three decades to leave a marriage. The viper-tongued person never bargained for my resilience, nor that I would expose him, which is me using my voice for the many women who can't or, should I say, feel they can't. At least not right now, but i believe, given the permission, more women will come forward. 

 I love my work and myself; and im not going to feel bad in saying that. The only way to do great work is to love what I do. I will write for myself and for you. 

Have a happy day, my friends.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Razz

The Haunting (The Art of Creating a Historical English Cottage)

"Does one ever see any ghost that is not oneself?"—Marjorie Bowen

Good day, my dear mermaid hearts,

My darlings, have you ever considered that women grapple with 'letting go', which is why we adore ghost stories?

When I left my ex-mate on an adventure to find myself and live that swelled dream of being an author and artist, not one more day of being stuck would keep me. It was, of course, a difficult decision, but one I was hell or high water going to do, and no one would stop me. It was either that (because my thoughts were increasingly becoming assorted ways of how i may take a passport) or something else that would result in terrible blows. I was absolutely beyond miserable in my marriage for over two decades. I hid it well. I thought anyway.

However, it is not so tricky as now when it has come time for me to reevaluate my unconscious catch-alls. Last summer, I realised that upon moving into my folk's cottage (in 2019 when Sawyer transitioned) and then creating Scarlette Rose Cottage, I had squirrelled away from a scary space of storage an alarming amount of "stuff." I justified that the storing of items is innocuous. Yet, I do know that vibrational energy invariably surrounds and attaches itself to every object in our houses, transforming them into discernible positive and negative memories. When i have felt depressed and struggle to identify the source of my anguish, it is me looking for something I've hidden quite well. I have recognised this trait in myself, and that is when good housekeeping and decluttering occur, only to once again be back at ground zero with piles of more things I've convinced myself I 'needed' from a charity shoppe or boot sale. The ailing of my soul lies just directly beneath the water's surface of my life.

Storage equals Sorrow
Buying Equals Burying

As of late, I've realised that to create my little 'Cottage of Belonging' (regardless of where that ends up being), it is imperative that i get ahold of that harmful self-inflicted philosophy, and so I plan to organise the cottage completely. I become weary and sigh when blundering past so that i can work and be efficient. I spent ridiculous amounts of time and energy on moving this to that room and that to this room. Arrange, put up, take down, box up, then donate, buy more, justify with additional shopping excursions. Do i truly 'need' another Victorian sofa? I currently have three. What about that ninth Victorian chair for my future settee or library? Why? Because storing 'things' and feeling safe are things I had to examine. I justified an entire year (in the process, they destroyed every piece of antique furniture I had) my kitten's blatant desire to want to be outside. I refused to see my issues of abandonment. As long as I could hold onto the control of keeping my kittens inside the cottage with me, there was no abandonment occurring. My kittens represented everyone who has ever left me.

I was, likewise, forcing control. The kittens represented my children. I relegated Molly to psychologically representing Sawyer. I kept close tabs on the other three. When I divorced their father (yes, you read that correctly despite what you've heard, I divorced him), they all were out of the home except for my daughter, and she downright refused to leave Oklahoma as she stated she had spent her life moving and wanted to settle. I couldn't blame her for that either. I do blame her father for his participation in the alienation between me and my children. I am learning forgiveness, though there were times i wanted to scream. She, the Dark Goddess—She, The Destroyer of Worlds, wanted to blow fury across the angry sea and unleash absolutely everything at him, but I will never unfurl anything. Rather, I have learned to allow myself to feel the emotions and then release them into the cosmos, for that is where healing takes place: in the letting go. For that matter, I love myself more than I dislike anyone in this world. My cancer scare is probably the dissonance I once had for my ex-mate and some other folks. The cells are currently stored; however, they are unhurriedly vacating my ovaries.

"Objects have ghostly emanations, too, that attach themselves to their solidity. Things with drawers—chest, armoires, night tables, trunks—seem to be most populated pieces of furniture."—Dominque Browning

I have simplified my life, focusing my time and attention on writing, researching, painting, and living a slow portrayal of Victorian life and learning to embrace my daily musings with happiness and simplicity by following my bliss and Taking Joy. When a person is very contented, there is no need to blast the results to the world. I tend to believe one of the reasons folks share so much on social media is that there is a need to feel validated.

I have been bringing order to nearly every cottage corner in preparation for loads of creating. Again, my dear heart, if you missed my last post, I made a place where you can write to me through the post. I am inspired to keep the notion of the old-fashioned vision alive, a sort of red-letter day.
I look forward to hearing from you.
  
Raquel's Letterbox-in-the-Hedge
P.O. Box 12071
Brooksville, Florida
34603