3 Particulars I No Longer Swim To On The Internet {And Why My Life Is Better For It}

My dear friends, 

Make yourself some tea, because today I am going to be spilling some and we're both going to need it. {wink, wink} Just teasing. It'll be painless, I promise. {smile}

" If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain."~ Emily Dickinson

Last year I had an all-out obsession with Instagram. I had been on Instagram for several years at this point, and the all-encompassing sea witch began to emerge from the depths. I was beginning to live for the all~mighty Instagram.  I could easily blame my astrological sign~ a Pisces, but I know by living the law of attraction that it's always about me no matter what the subject is, and that includes Instagram. I am speaking mainly about Instagram when I speak of social media, as that was always my Achilles' heel.

I am a very visual person, so once I was turned onto the app, I was a lost cause. I developed a love-hate relationship. I would see the suggestions of people to follow and I was down the rabbit hole in no time flat. Those feelings of inadequacy swelled up inside of me and I would log off feeling like a complete piece of rubbage.

To make matters worse,  many women had and still have a visceral reaction to me. I had many internet friends, that have now blocked me for no legitimate reason that I am aware of.  The ever loving BLOCK RAQUEL button became a normal event. I know the people that blocked me, unfollowed me or that had mentioned me because I had those secret apps that you pay for to inform me of this. I know, call me nuts. I was in deep, what can I say? I am being very transparent here because I think there are many women that this effects, but would dare never confess to their feelings. Almost as if they are embarrassed that a device can have such an effect on them. I happen to believe the block button is a sure sign that if you have to block someone, you personally have control or insecurity issues. I can be a savage by saying that because I exhibited this ten~fold.

People, for the most part, don't want to hear the truth, and I have determined this is very much the reason people block me. I am a visual gentle reminder and they do not want to or aren't in a place to see their fallible moments. As if being a vulnerable woman is a shortcoming. In the least degree, it is not. I remind women that they need to look inside of themselves and most women want to blame other women for their own personal shortcomings. It's always someone else's fault. When I was going through my transformational journey I soon recognized this within myself and sought to change it.

To be frank, I cared too much about what other snarky women were saying about me, and I made it my business when it should never have been my business, to begin with. I will never have another woman or anyone for that matter truly understand why I do what I do, and neither will you.  We aren't here to be understood, we are here to find a way to truly love ourselves deeply and wholeheartedly. That is solely my job, and that is solely your job. When it comes down to brass tacks, this is the only job we have to do in life. To love ourselves completely and without apologies. I am still an ever learning student of this notion and I deeply love the process.

Today, I do not give a rip what other women think, or say about me. I can truly testify to that without hesitation. I couldn't always say that. However, by being in alignment before I log in to type a blog post, or go to my fan page, I am in control of my thoughts. If you are still in a place where things like that bother you, for instance, if someone doesn't like you, well that just means my dear sweet friend you have a wee bit of interpersonal work to do, and that is truly okay. Be okay with knowing you have more work to do. That is another thing women despise admitting~ we are ALWAYS going to be a work in progress. We will never get this thing called life all finished and completed to perfection. We are perfection at every moment in our lives. There is not a course for life that you take and complete with getting an A+ from God. By somehow believing that if you are good, you go to heaven, but if you exhibit bad behaviour~ well, you know the rest. I do not subscribe to that nonsensical delusional philosophy at all! Truthfully, that it was made me suicidal for a majority of my life~ but I'll share that with you another day.

How often women have this point of direction that once I figure this thing out called life I'll rub my hands together, check that crapshoot trial off my list and move onto the next task to complete.  How often women think that they are on a timetable with getting things checked off of their list. I discovered life really doesn't work like that and the sooner I learned that the better I was for it. I solely understood this from the perspective of living the law of attraction and my life changed exponentially. I speak of this very openly as I am a woman that came from a deeply ingrained Christian environment. I can honestly say that living the law of attraction has completely changed my life in such a beautifully profound way.

I digress, this post is about the internet, but I wanted to preface this post by saying what I really feel, which now leads me to the: 3 things I no longer do on the internet {and why my life is better for it}

1. Spend time trying to get people online to understand me

As a blogger, checking analytics is apart of my job to see where my visitors to my blog are coming from. However, after the debacle of having certain characters gossip or write something in their Instagram caption posts about me, I have found it is better not knowing where forums have mentioned me. I have a rule now and even a quote on my fridge that says, " What others think of me is none of my business." 

We are in a cultural society especially now with the #empoweringwomen movement and it baffles me that women can be absolutely vile to other women. Really girls, what is that saying about that person? I will tell you my subjective opinion, and that is women are mostly insecure within themselves and feel they have to make sure they are getting their piece of the pie and to make sure someone like me, isn't snatching theirs up. I have a news flash. We are all going to get our very own pie, and no one can take OUR particular pie. We have all carved out our lives most specifically for ourselves. I cannot take another artist's business or talent, I cannot take photography jobs from another photographer, I cannot take someone's lifestyle from them, sewing skills, writing capabilities, that book deal you want, blogging style, income, status in popularity in life or on social media, nor can anyone take from me my pie. We are all individuals and come with our own set of desires and intentions. We must stop and rest for a moment girls and look inside.

We may go along our day and think social media has nothing to do with anything interpersonal, but this is where we are wrong. It has everything to do with us as individuals if we are having this sort of discontent when logging onto social media. One might be thinking, well then Raquel if it doesn't bother you anymore about social media, why are you not on it? Isn't that basically me running from my issues? I will vehemently say, " no, it is not. And I don't have to answer to anyone about why I choose not to be on Instagram." I choose to have a placid mindest and Instagram is not a place I find rest at this time in my life. Perhaps, in the future, if I feel up to it, but for now, I love the feeling of freedom and peacefulness. Here's the thing, if I were to still be on Instagram and I have had such a horrible time, that would be like me going to a buffet bar and selecting the most putrid food to eat, knowing that I am going to hurl it. Why would I, or you, do that to yourself repeatedly? Habit is why. We have to stop being comfortable with our negative emotions. People strap on bad emotions like they're a badge of honour. I say, no thanks! When I can think happy thoughts instead, why would I do that to myself? I care about myself too much these days to live in that state of uncomfortable sadness.

2. Keep secret dummy accounts to check on people I'm curious about

A sure-fire way to go mental {smile} is to implement this little nugget. It's basically the 101 of stalking. Hey, I am being very upfront with you on this, because I will boldly admit I had a PhD in Anthropologie stalking skills. What begins to happen when doing this, is your momentum of aggravated emotions speeds up. You become more upset with the said person, and you should know its invariably going to upset you. When we seek out things, we will always find them. Furthermore, its the law of attraction at work. If you are vibrating at the level of the person you have disdain for, you will always find those same type of people. It is law. You are what you attract. If I am angry with someone, I will find those same type of people. We are RSVP~ing all over the place, and at all times. Once again, why would you put yourself through the agony? I sure am happy I have such a deep love for myself so as to not inflict myself with this type of unneeded feeling anymore. 

3. Log onto my blog, facebook fan page, or read emails before I have meditated

I continue to have a facebook account purely because you need to have an account in order to maintain a blog page. I have a great group on my facebook fan page and I absolutely love those ladies! I have such a warmness with them and I know oftentimes this is the way they are informed of when I have posted to my blog. It is essential to my business so I keep it.  As I was really working at this whole leaving social media debacle, I wanted to be more in alignment. I noticed that when I automatically logged on in the mornings, before doing anything, that it had the potential to set me off. I would read someone's post, see a picture that was ridiculously gorgeous, get notifications that someone blocked or unfollowed me, and I was thrown into a foul mood, and I hadn't even had my first cup of tea yet. I am now very much in charge of my thoughts and alignment, so now when I go onto my selected platforms, I am a happy and uplifted girl. In turn, I only find that happy people show up. I like it so much. Try it and tell me what you think. I would love to hear if any of these particulars have helped you. 

In closing this post, I want you to know how much I appreciate you, and for you to know that I have the purest of intentions when I am writing my entries.  My heart is truly full without conditions or predetermined judgement. I will always state definitively that my blog is a place of learning, inspiration and refuge. It is my happy place and I want it to be yours as well.

I shall write again soon. 

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx