Saturday, July 18, 2020

An Open Letter To The CopyCats And Friend Poachers


[I wrote this post most notably for a friend that reads my blog. It's been sitting in my drafts file for about four months, but I had someone reach out to me through email just last evening, and I decided to finish up and publish it. So I will attempt to blend it, however, invariably I wrote half the day it happened to me and the other half this morning.]


Well, it happened again. I was friend poached. You know when you have a particular friend, whether that be on social media or a blog friend and they discover greener pastures in one of your friends' Instagram feeds or blog, and decide to mosey on over there never to be heard of again? Yeah, like that. The commenting, following and luncheons begin {let the sarcasm ensue...the last time anyone used the word luncheon was on Downton Abbey in Season 1, but I digress}, and you're left high and dry. Raquel who? Errr...You might ask why I would let something like this bother me? Well, If you'll give me a good 4 minutes and about 2000 words I'll tell you why it bothers me. And truth be known, that's why I believe my blog is so successful because I'm going to write what I feel and not shove it under the rug and act like my soul is made of Teflon.

Am I a healthy person, yes. Do I get my feelings hurt? Absolutely, but I am stronger for it, and I'm in a constant state of learning and expanding. I'm not entirely free of my feelings ever getting hurt; however, that is my ultimate goal. Regardless of anything ever said to me, my feelings will become unhurtable. Now, that is growth. How else would I be able to influence many If I'm always on an insecurity rollercoaster? I am not going to care who's calling me this or that. That's on them, just as If I get drat about someone friend poaching me. That's on me. But do I also in the next breath as I work through it, tell that person to take a flying leap off the nearest bridge, yes. I do that too. Am I, in alignment when this emotion is erupting, again, no. I'm transparent, and that means I'm writing when something hits me in a moments notice. That way, my feelings are fresh. However, like I've said many times here on my blog, writing is the way I'm able to make sense of my world, and when something bothers me, I'm going to express my feelings. Honestly, it's the only way I know.

So, back to the topic at hand.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, I was friend poached, and I have a few copycats tagging along the brackish waters.

Let me say nowadays {I know, I know, It's only been four months err...get on with it} I could give two rips, but I'm writing this for a particular friend that is a bit younger than me in years, and she was quite upset last week when this same thing happened to her. I said to her, "thanks doll, you just gave me a great topic to write about on my blog." Because shortly before Sawyer was killed {and, I realized what was indeed important}, this happened to me multiple times on Instagram and once on my blog, and it hurt my feelings. Now, though, I'm glad when someone unfollows me on my blog or social media. I'm happy they left as I have no place for those that aren't vibing high.

Maybe it's because I'm just too honest for some and most folks don't like the truth being shoved about the throat even if it's through my blog. (Who am I kidding? No one wants things forced on them. Err...) I don't hold back on topics for fear of rejection. If only one person reads my blog, and that's me, I'm pleased with that. However, my high stats and analytics tell me differently. I write about things that a lot of women are afraid to write about, and that reassures me that I am true to myself about such things as religion, the law of attraction or for instance when I've written about being rage-filled by my ill-suited ex-mate.
When ladies unfollow me or poach my friends, that tells me they aren't my tribe. It's the old adage; they weren't really my friends after all. Now, I would be okay with it if my" so-called friends" would just come out straight away and say "Hey Raquel, I met Sally. You know that gal that comments on your blog all the time, well, we've become friendly with each other. So that you know, she's a bang-up kind of gal and I really love her blog." But, that mostly didn't happen to me in the past. What's usually been the protocol is they find friends of mine and then in the form of curiosity swim over to their feed on social media or their blog and begin commenting away. So then when I happen to mosey over to my "said friends blog, too" I see that my friend and Sally chiming in, and all aflutter. I start thinking to myself, "Bloody hell, I thought this chick was deciding to take some time off {because that's' the poppycock narrative she gave me in her last week's text."} But no, she didn't do that at all. She's just knackered with my blog, or me and has no more interest for dear ol' Raquel. Welll goodddd! But then I began thinking to myself what truly happened? What's the depth of it? That she now doesn't read my blog or comment because clearly, she's leaving her two cents all over Sally's blog comment section and every Tom, Dick and Harry's Instagram comment feed. So, what is the truth, because the substance simply isn't adding up? Just be frank with me for goodness sakes. The dishonesty and inauthenticity drive me nuts. The bloody truth of it is that SHE had gotten a case of jelly-tinnitus! Yes, jealousy, is the truth of it; however, I've learned from experience and by my own life's experiences because I will happily admit that I was once upon a time, jealous. {And look, I'll probably get there again, and I'm not afraid to admit it, neither.) If you remember last year I wrote in a post about a woman that had the cutest relationship with her soul mate, and I was eaten up with bits of jealousy before I was ever divorced. I was then married to my ill-suited ex-mate, and I could see no future for how I was going to have those dreams of mine met. Oh, ye of little faith. Heh... I would see this couple that was married and so in love on Instagram, and It rightfully made me upset. But I wasn't angry at them. I admired them and wanted my soul mate relationship too. So, yes, I do understand. I get it. You want what I have, and you're irate. But the way you make the best of this emotion is to uncover why you're truthfully bitter and directing it towards me. That's how we all grow. It's not me that you are mad at, you're angry at the situation, and I am reflecting your deepest desires. It's as if I'm pushing them in your face and rubbing it in, but that's simply not what is happening here. 
I'm not keeping anyone from their dream life; they keep themselves from it! I agree it feels better to blame someone when we're not getting what we desire. I had a dear friend tell me last year that when my career begins to take off be ready for people {mostly women} to rise from the muddy waters with forms of jealousy and anger. You do know that success is not when someone has money, right? Being a success is when you are blissed out and as happy as you can be. Here's the secret to financial success, though. When you are blissed out, satisfied and happy, the money and abundance begin raining down. Well, I have mostly not said anything about how much money I have because most people don't see another person as successful unless they go around flaunting their wealth. {I've been secretly watching to see who my friends are now when they think I have nothing. That way I'm able to know who's genuinely my die-hard friends}. I have watched many people leave my side, including my children at one time or another. So when I say I'm very particular with who gets my attention, that's to be taken seriously. I'm no longer in the business of playing nonsensical games. I'm certainly not going to have the time of day for anyone that thought it was in their best interest to abandon me when my chips were down. Or because I wasn't a success on social media, these particular companies didn't want to work with me {I got your number, and memory like Carter's has pills}. So I can promise you I burnt those bridges and burnt them well. And that includes the book publishers, magazine editors and the whole lot. You're on my list; I can promise you that. It's like what Tasha Tudor said in her movie Take Joy, {I find evil satisfaction in saying you didn't want me when I approached you and now your lucks run dry.} She said it like that in so many words, that's not verbatim, but you get what I mean. 

When I left Instagram a few years ago, (when I could no longer handle it, and also my son was killed, so yeah, that has a way of putting life into perspective) some of those same ladies (that I thought were my friends) never started back up following me on Instagram. Do you know why they didn't? Because I wouldn't follow them. But I digress.

The whole reason for this post was to understand psychologically why I would get friend poached and have copy cats on my back. This had been an ongoing event in my life, even from the days of high school. So now that I understand the law of attraction, I know it's because I was in some way vibrationally lining up with those type of insecure women. That says a lot about me, doesn't it? I was a very insecure woman, and I was RSVP'ing that all over the place.

Insecurities, competition, comparison, copy cats, and a part of that is also a lack of respect. When you are insecure, you lack respect for yourself, and in turn, you won't receive it from others. It always gives me a giggle when I overhear someone say," How can that person be so disrespectful!" When I want to say, obviously if that person doesn't have respect for others, they clearly don't have it for themselves. Folks! People lie through their words A LOT! Pay attention to the universal laws such as vibration, and you'll begin seeing that the universe doesn't lie. You can't fake the universe out. If you are being a mean ol' Betty and you are secretly doing things that you think people don't know about, you are going to migrate like a bird towards those same kinds of people.

When I began looking at why I kept attracting skags and started seeing bits of their jealousy coming out by some of the things they were saying or not saying, it was time I had to look at myself. I was that way myself or I wouldn't have been attracting those kinds of people into my circle. It's all about us, me, you, being transparent and owning what we do, taking accountability for our actions. I am here on planet earth to learn and expand. That's why I'm here. I want to continue being a powerful creator. These are what this subject boils down to in my subjective opinion. If there is jealousy or insecurity within, address it, learn from it and move on. 

Have you ever experienced friend poaching? Yeah, same. And you know me, if something bothers me, I'm going to crow about it. Wanna share with me if you've ever been friend poached or copied?  

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

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