Dare To Bare With Your Tail Fanned (I'm Not The Only Mermaid In The Sea)
|Me and Anita at the Red Mule Pub.
May I put in a word for trying to remain friends and share my debate on women (mermaid) friendships? Yesterday was February second, also known for the Victorians as Candlemas. I'll share more about that tomorrow, but for now, I wanted to expand on the friendship post I wrote about here. I also wish to bring you up to date on that experience.
I wouldn't be a very promising teacher if I didn't share with you my verity. It's nice to experience the beauty in life and all of the lovely moments of female friendship; still, I also feel entitled to put up a severe discourse as I think women's intimacy in speaking deeply about friendship is not terribly common. Many ladies feel uncomfortable being placed in an attitude of in-depth conversations. Life isn't perfectly curated, and there will be moments life can throw us into the undercurrents, and we must navigate those waters when this occurs. I think being transparent and genuine with you creates a bond between us. I have learned that when I feel a shaking of the ground I stand on, experiencing something first-hand, I might not always come straight out with it, not because I'm fearful of being held up in ridicule or the showing of my vulnerable side, but because I've grown. I realised that if there is instability if I speak too hastily, I cannot teach accurately as my emotions will get the better of me, and that creates misunderstanding. Like all of us, I'm human, and I've grown to understand more clearly how our sensory apparatus works.
Okay, let's jump in the box, back to the friendly conversation.
When I wrote the post (Allow Me To Gush) about my friend T, I thought all was well with us two; well, on my side, at any rate. However, through a series of events, I soon learned that T was continuing to harbour unkind feelings towards me, and I knew not where from which they were stemming. I have no inkling what T was or is experiencing in her world, and this is where the waters become muddled. Not only with T but with lady friends, in general. When a person is struggling, we, as kind folks, begin to create assumptions about others based on our beliefs instead of talking them through. Now they could absolutely be the furthest from the truth, but assumptions are created and must demonstrate themselves on the external. I am responsible for my part and come what may, I will always take responsibility for my actions. I met T before my self-concept beliefs changed about friendships, so what our friendship initially represented changed from my end. Thus as a universal law, invariably, the friendship (just as any relationship) would dissolve. Allow me to impart an example on this score as If I'm speaking to my Christian friends. In the word, it says of those "equally yoked", which means that those who are not of equal energies will not by vivacity alone be able to coincide for long unless there is an equalling in the vibration of one or the other.
One must acclimate to co-exist with the other. As I began to develop new assumptions and a more positive self-concept, no longer believing my olde storey about friendships, T still had those same beliefs herself. However, I saw my reality and perspective in a new way.
I wouldn't be able to reside for long as her friend. Not because neither of us is "better" than the other, but because two opposite energies cannot align for extended intervals as energies are based on an individual's state. Our world is managed by vibrational energy. Have you ever watched animals in the wild? They, by nature, work off of vibration at all times. Have you ever wondered why they do certain things? Animals in nature (and all animals to the degree they've not been domesticated) are in complete alignment; they do not have resistance like humans. In physics, energy is a property of matter and can be transferred between objects and converted in form. It cannot be created or destroyed. Everything in the universe is made up of matter and energy. (I know, I know, it sounds soooo scientific, that's because it is dear friends.) One cannot deny it; it's likened to gravity. You know it's there, but how often do we ponder our make-up as humans in the same way as anything else in our big blue marble. I can answer that for most, not much at all. So many like to separate science into a category all its own; however, when you really begin analysing it more thoroughly, the resonance of internal knowing fills one's heart with an understanding.
If we can come to a place, talk things through, and accurately feel what's suitable for us as friends, we will bring true unity. This notion of peace is what inspires me daily. I have such a love for ladies and those who are my friends. I want us all to be friends, and It's my truth that we have more aspects alike than differences if we can communicate and possess the solid concept of self-love.
I wrote the friendship post about T, and she once again refollowed me back on Instagram. However, I didn't communicate with her at that time, asking why she unfollowed me to begin with, which is what I should have done. Instead, I made light of it. Now mind you, this sounds trite, but I'm from the mindset that this is a beautiful way of seeing how we can become accountable and bring forth discussions on the mental welfare of women and girls. The avenue is from Instagram, and this is a beautiful discussion to be had.
I do not look at social media (Instagram) from the standpoint that it's terrible and we should run away from our feelings, although this is a form of rejection and fear when one blocks and unfollows. These types of actions on Instagram are always a deep-rooted self-concept belief. Instagram is beautiful in that way; it brings forth a narrative that has long been ignored, which is the lack of self-love for many folks. For far too long, the world has done this, which perpetuates division, not healing. The world looks at things from the external standpoint (as in all the problems are out there), outside of self. I see things from an internal perspective. When one person loves themselves with absolute clarity, the single power in one human being has more power than millions of people who are not aligned.
I was the peacemaker in childhood, just as my mother was in her family dynamic. So instead of holding everyone accountable for their actions, I would minimalise and take responsibility for myself and everyone involved, which creates a co- pendency and a saviour mentality. From my female role models, this originated for me that women were considered beneath men, not beside them. Another striking acknowledgement is that I am the oldest child, so I took on that role as the fixer, especially when my father was having an alcoholic meltdown. It wasn't a happy time, and I felt responsible for creating a safe environment for my younger siblings. Isn't it amazing how we as children learn to adapt to even the most uncomfortable state of affairs? (A side note, now my dad and I have an excellent relationship. He has been sober for nearly 40 years, and there has been immense healing. Smile. An encouraging notion on that score is that all things are possible, and no circumstance cannot be changed. Circumstances do not matter. )
I must say, we are unique human beings. I am astonished at the strength of beautiful children and human beings as a whole.
Where was I in the friendship conversation?
Oh yes, back to T and I.
There was no open conversation about T and her contribution to what she was doing in the friendship. It's never a one-way street. I attracted her, and she subconsciously attracted me. If we were to have met in the middle, we could have made a go of it overall, but T just fled and ducked out, which has been rather unfortunate. I do not accept responsibility for her role, which can be difficult at times because we have a tendency to want to blame others for the goings-on in our own life. I've happily moved on, and I realise that T will have to make amends with her heart at some point, but I was not meant to be that person for her, even though I learned quite a bit from the experience, so I am forever appreciative. I talked with my dear friend Anita yesterday at the pub, and we both agreed that a good chat over tea and so often the walls of misunderstanding crumble. After a deep conversation with a friend, one might come to realise that anything can change in an instant. I am the God of my reality, so if I wanted to manifest that friendship back with T, I have the power to do so. May you be mindful that everything is salvageable, and nothing remains permanent. Folks come into our lives sometimes as seasonal friends, and that's a lovely thought. I've realised not everyone I meet has to become my friend forever and for eternity. I take responsibility for all of my past friendships, and I send them peace and happiness.
I have changed and improved my self-concept by listening to my new beliefs at night. In the past, If a friendship went bust, I would obsess about it. I would notice every little thing if they blocked me on social media, etcetera, and so forth, but now I never do that, and I feel proud of myself in that aspect. I've recently attracted so many women into my life, and our petticoat society is proliferating; it's quite extraordinary! The ladies showing up are also similar to me in that they are eager to grow and expand within their lives and want to teach their children how to become their best versions. It's so beautiful to see these gorgeous souls showing up. I am your reflection, and you're mine. Isn't it beautiful how universal law works like that? If we want to see what we are feeling and thinking, we simply look to our reality and what presents itself is what we are externalising. An accurate report card indeed.
I hope for this post to bring you rich delights and a more thorough understanding of me as a person, as well as a reflective moment of the beauty that resides within you.
Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx