5 Ways To Make A Decision And How To Line Up With It

My dear friends, 

In 2015, when I left my marriage of 25 years, one of my most significant abilities to create the reality that I so deeply desired, was because I made a decision and lined up with it.

Let me explain. This is an in-depth subject that many women struggle with, so I am going to seek to disembowel it for you and in turn, hope to teach you how to make decisions for YOUR life.

In all begins, from when we are little girls. If you happen to be such as me and having grown up in a very restrictive environment, and a deeply embedded religious background, it can be almost overwhelmingly suffocating to make any decision.

When we are young, as most folks in this big ol' universe are taught, we listen to what other people tell us. We think that in order to make a decision, especially if it's a big, monumental one, women seek the approval of their choices from those around them, such as friends, families, counsellors, bishops, children: you name it, we ask the support of others, in order to make us feel better.

Several years before I bit the bullet, and actually left my marriage, I was holding all the thoughts within. I was fearful of telling others, as I knew from past experiences that I would feel the wrath of so many individuals trying to be my advocate {giving me their opinions and advice}. I didn't need an advocate for my life. I knew {for many years, deep inside} that I wanted to leave the marriage, but I was afraid to. I think many folks have an overriding fear. The majority of the doubt is a derivative of being in a very controlling and conditional environment. However, the number one reason a woman is fearful stems from a deep sense of insecurity in themselves and their abilities.

I began working intensely on my self-worth. I knew to make bold decisions and not waiver in them, I was going to have to uncover the love I needed so desperately. I had forgotten how to fall in love with myself. I had forgotten how to trust and believe in myself. I knew I had it when I was but a pint-sized child, but I had been conditioned out of it over the decades.

I was determined to find out how to become all-powerful and to never let anyone, and I mean anyone come in between me and my inner being {the god/source part of me}. I had become weary of living for other folks. I was dying inside, and I knew I was on the brink of taking my life, and I was sick of being unhappy. I was a fake. I had become everything I disliked in the world; inauthentic, at it's finest.

I created my reality back then, and I did not like that reality. It was awful, just plain awful. I was to the point that I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. When I first began love affirmations, I would berate myself in the mirror while saying I love myself. I would say things like, "This is so flipping stupid." Look at how ugly you are, Raquel! You're disgusting." I happen to believe many folks are this way, still. Most people haven't even begun to mate with their own soul. That is indeed the answer to all of life; to love oneself.


1. Go Within

To go within means that you have all the power and you genuinely know what you desire to do. When you go within, that means think about what you want most of all. Don't think of the way any of your decisions will manifest, because what you'll do at that moment is create resistance. Take some alone time for yourself. Think about what you dream of doing, and only think of that choice in that, moment. We become confused when we then make a choice and start thinking about all the things that can happen after that decision has been made. It's been scientifically proven that 85% of the thoughts we have about things, never manifest. The reason is, if we don't activate a vibrational feeling of something we dont want, it won't come to be.
2. Make The Decision And Keep It To Yourself

When I finally made the decision to leave my marriage, I never spoke a word to anyone. The only influence that I had on me was the youtube videos from Abraham Hicks workshops. I didn't read books, go to counselling, tell my bishop/pastor, friends or family. I kept my decision to myself. It was between me and God/Source. I asked for Source/God to provide the way for me to buy a ticket to leave the state. I knew that I was planning to take a trip to visit my parents. I had been planning to create a workshop at the old Chinsegut Hill Mansion for women, and I figured it would be an excellent way to get some alone time. I really did plan on having the retreat, but once I arrived at my parents, {with all the most essential papers} I wasn't planning on going back. I figured a nice pit stop at my parents, would be appropriate, and then I would send for my two younger children and head back out to California. That was my goal. I also wanted to say here, that the reason I didn't share this with my then-husband was that I felt that he would have stopped me from leaving. I knew I would have to get away, almost as if I were escaping because honestly, I felt like I was in prison.
3. Stay Focused On Self~Care

Once I arrived at my parents and began telling them that I was filing for a divorce, all hell broke loose. Now, let me remind you that I have stringent parents. They raised me and still carry those religious beliefs that unless you have a "bible excuse" to divorce is an abomination before God. I had never told my family of any of my marital misgivings, such as the abuse, adultery, mental abuse, etc. So, you can imagine when I began unloading my story, my parents were in disbelief. They only saw and heard what I allowed them to hear and know. I looked at it for many years, as a way of protecting my family. My husband was in entertainment so that that complicated matters even more. I never wanted anything negative to get out because then the public would know we were both frauds. But mostly, I didn't have a perfect life. When you grow up in a dysfunctional alcoholic home, you strive to have an ideal experience. Because you have no way of controlling anything, so you grow up believing that to control your environment will make you feel safe. Alcoholic children have a deep, deep desire to control everything and everyone. I am so happy, I no longer feel those feelings. I am free! Dear God, I am Free!

I loved this quote from Russell Brand:

"Cannabis isn't a gateway drug. Alcohol isn't a gateway drug. Nicotine isn't a gateway drug. Caffeine isn't a gateway drug.

Trauma is the gateway. Childhood abuse is the gateway. Molestation is the gateway. Neglect is the gateway. Drug abuse, violent behaviour, hypersexuality and self-harm are often symptoms {not the cause} of much more significant issues. And it almost always stems from a childhood filled with trauma, absent parents, and an abusive family. But most people are too busy laughing at the homeless and drug addicts to realise your own children could be in their shoes in 15 years. Communicate. Empathise. Rehabilitate."
4. Line Up With Your Decision

This is where it may become a bit tricky. The reason for this being the most difficult for most women is that we begin second-guessing our choices. We have most likely been taught when we were young that we are capable of making a mistake. You will be off the hook if you begin creating the new belief that we can never make a mistake, especially if we trust in our inner being. We must come to understand as women that we are perfect, now, today, right in this very moment. Perfection is something man-made up, for us to feel not as good as. Not as good as others in diety, not as good as God/ Source itself. We have no other way of being, for we are all God-filled. The inner nature of each of us is our spiritual being. Just as religions believe we all have the holy spirit. That's basically the same thing in law of attraction terminology. We are all possessed with the Source/God within us. So, if we make a decision, and line our spirit/ vibrational energy up with it, it will always be the best decision made. We must stop with self-doubt. We can't get it wrong, and when we finally decide to believe that we are perfect beings, we will stop being so hard on ourself, and we will once and for all, stop self-doubt.

Once I made the decision to divorce, I never second-guessed myself. No matter what someone said to me, I stuck by my choice.
5. Believe All Things Will Work Out For You

After I began taking my life back into my hands, many people had a tough time. I was no longer the woman I once was. I was now making decisions for myself, and many folks had a tough time with it. Just know that all hell will break loose, once you decide to make decisions for yourself, regardless of anyone else. Almost every single person that I knew abandoned me during this time. My parents even had a hard time with it at first. Just be mindful that it's very possible that every relationship that you have will be tested and most will fall away. You have to be prepared for this. I wouldn't be a kind friend if I didn't tell you that this will most likely happen. The reason for this is that most of the world lives in a conditional mindset.

All things are working together for your good. Even when things seem to be going haywire, just remember everything's turning out precisely the way it's supposed to. You will be better for all of it. Your dreams and desires are a decision away from creating the life you love.

Take Joy!

I had a ball creating this post for you. Did anything resonate with you? I'd love to hear.  

Most affably yours til' my next swim, Raquelxxx


  1. First, I am so happy for you!!!!!

    Ahhh yes, what resonated was... "When you grow up in a dysfunctional alcoholic home, you strive to have an ideal experience. Because you have no way of controlling anything, so you grow up believing that to control your environment will make you feel safe. Alcoholic children have a deep, deep desire to control everything and everyone."

    I was so happy, when I discovered this, for myself. It finally explained to me, my NEED for CONTROL. It wasn't something "wrong" with me. It was the "result" of how I grew up!! What a load that took, off my shoulders! -smile-

    There is more to my story, but I will not lay it out here. -smile- I am happy for both of us, that we found our own strength, to deal with things, in each of our lives.


    1. Isn't it a lovely thing when we learn the reasons for why we do what we do? I would love to hear your story. Thank you for the happy sentiments, that means so much to me. I truly an appreciative. Love Raquelxxx


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