A Letter For My Son

My dear friends, 

My darling son, Sawyer made his transition from physical to non-physical on June 23rd, 2019. He is feeling the sweet rewards of pure positive energy. 

I have been writing each day, since his passing and know he is still very much alive, but in a slightly different way. I plan to share each day with you, my dear readers, in hopes that it may help me with my healing process. Writing is the only thing I know how to do, besides paint; in which, I am doing, as well. The death of a child, I feel is the most difficult of all life's experiences I have had, thus far. However, my greatest desire is to always try to teach and inspire others. I believe that's what I am here for.

Over the years, Sawyer and I would talk about the law of attraction and consistently recognize that there is no death, but only life, and more life. After Sawyer's transition, I heard Sawyer say to me numerous times, "Momma, all that spirituality stuff we had those long talks about, was all true, Momma! I'm pure positive energy, now!"

It is taken me some time to understand this, and honestly, I have dove deeper into Abraham Hicks material as a greater desire to more fully comprehend physical death. If anything, I want to be able to help others, {mothers, especially} and to have an understanding of what is beyond the veil of physical existence. And how I can more fully communicate with my son on the non~physical side.

I have not yet come to terms with it, but I do feel confident that I will. For, if there really is no death, but only life and more life, there is a way for me to find Sawyer where he is. He is always with me. I used to hear that all of the time, but until I experienced the physical death of my son; did I truly recognize what that meant. I believe I am able to handle my son's transition because I deeply understand what life is truly about. The all-powerful and knowing settles my heart and mind with enormity.

I catch glimpses all the time of what Sawyer must be experiencing, and that gives me a great sense of pleasure. I have spirit guides, and now I feel Sawyer being the next logical step in joining together as my spirit guide, too. I find myself asking him questions and appreciating him daily. He is very clearly interested in my life, and what I am up to. I know; that in time, Sawyer will help me with my very own resistance to physical death.

Sawyer is leading the way for me. I know and feel very confident that I will find the way. I have confidence in myself, and I can feel the love of Sawyer. He is sending me clues; and finding the fun. He was playful in life, and he still carries that character now. I feel him all around me.

I am eager about what is ahead. I don't know how it will all transpire, but I feel confident it will be a delight. Sawyer will help me write my children's books, and I am sure they will become very successful. He has an advantage. {wink, wink}

I wanted to thank each of you for your kindness, and the outpouring of love for me. You continue to be extraordinary folks, and I love you each, dearly.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

I have started a gofundme account. It was initially for me to travel to Oklahoma to gather Sawyer's belongings. I drove Sawyer's truck back to Florida. He worked hard to acquire his truck; it was his pride and joy. I wanted to bring it back to Florida, as it's the only possession I have left. Sawyer had a remaining note on his truck, and I would like to pay it down. If you feel inspired; I would greatly appreciate any donations. The truck is purely sentimental, and I deeply want to keep it. I know to most, it's "only" a truck, but to me, it's the only thing I have left of my darling baby. Thank you, my dear sweet friends. 


Go Fund Me


  1. Oh dear friend, I wish I were there to give you a huge hug. I've not known the grief of loosing a child, but can only imagine the the pain in your heart. I only just returned into service so have not been up to date. What you have written here is amazing. You are in a good place. Your baby boy loves you still and will indeed be with you always. You will hear his voice, his laughter, and character near you. That's a good thing too. He knows you love him. Wishing you and your family peace and love.

    1. Hello dear dear friend, Thank you so much for visiting me. My blog/writing and painting is bringing me such solace at this time. I'm so happy to have it. I've missed you. I wanted to say I so very much appreciate your friendship. You've always been very kind to me. I love you. Love, Raquelxxx

  2. Sending gentle hugs to you Raquel.
    I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like to lose a child...



  3. Oh no, just . . . dear soul. I am so sorry, but there are no true words to send out into the storm; "so sorry" is a twig. In all of my still moments in the coming weeks, I will hold space for you <3. Wishing you so much comfort in the beauty of the son you birthed and raised and nurtured, comfort in his presence in your memories and your current loss and all of your future days.

    1. Kimberly, What kind and sweet words. You always know just the right thing to say to me and I love you for that. Thank you so much for visiting me over here. It means so very much to me. Love, Raquelxxx

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