Thursday, September 12, 2019

Why Instagram Is Making So Many People Miserable

I am having a cup of cold tea, while I write this morning. As I was meditating and jotting down some beautiful analogies for my autobiography, "The Little Mermaid's Transformational Tale", I thought I might share with you a few thoughts on social media and why perhaps the opinions of others towards some folks hold meaning. 

I have seen numerous motivational speakers just now coming around to recognise the effects of social media on our young folks. I wanted to break down why I believe this is once again having an impact on the subconscious minds of our youth. I will speak through the personal experience of when my children were young.
I have a completely different take on social media with regards to how I raised my children and the way I parented. To this day, all of my children have social media. However, they are rarely on any platforms. I think they go on them a few times a year. They never really became taken up, and I believe I know the reason why. The first reason was that I was not a forceful parent with dictating copious rules on them. When trying to possess that much control over a child, it will lead them to become secretive and mischievous. They will grow to believe that you don't trust them, in turn, leads to them being uncommunicative. Or it will create in them a desire to want to prove you wrong.

The one beautiful thing about my parents, most notably my father was that I was raised with no boundaries. I never had a curfew, put on restriction, nor were pleasures withheld from me. Do you think that I broke the rules? Absolutely not. I was a very well behaved girl. I knew that my parents' trusted me, so I had no desire to prove something. I parented this way with my children. When I was raising my children, I would frequently get disparaging remarks about how I was too lackadaisical in my parenting. I didn't care what they thought.

I had learned prematurely that while they were busily judging me for ways that I was parenting, their children were playing the "perfect" child, and I knew better. I can't tell you all of the times my children would make statements that so and so's child, {that everyone thought was so perfect} was doing things ten times worse behind the curtains. I calculate that is why I would get so distressed with those women. Nowadays, I advocate for myself. I suppose that's what life has taught me; to speak my truth. Inevitably, time would tell. It all ended up coming out in the wash, but at the time, it was quite gritty for me to hold my footing.

I taught my dear little children when they were young to have belief in themselves and what others thought of them mattered not. The principal motivation of why youth become obsessed with social media is the lack of self-worth. Therefore creating a desire to seek outside themselves for validation. They look to celebrities or people in public to confirm their significance. If you've ever invested time into listening to Abraham Hicks, you will have heard Esther say that all folks are fickle. Which means no one came to this earth to feather our nests. Our mothers shouldn't even be expected to make us feel right every second of the day. Nor should anyone. 

What happens is youth feel deficient within themselves and believe that to have their needs met, they must gain acceptance from other folks. When someone likes their Instagram post or fills up their sense of value through a validated 'like', the youth begins to rely on that habitually from others. Subsequently, when those same folks aren't there on a given day to like or comment on their posts, the youth becomes anxious, sad and begins to believe that the external world isn't there for them, which they aren't. That's the cold hard truth. Noone can be there for any of us at all hours of the day, every moment of our lives. No one was meant to do that for us, except ourselves. We must come round to understanding that we have to fill our own inner self~worth vessel, or inevitably we will fall apart at the seams because the world isn't appreciating us when we need them to. It's impossible for the world to like us, all day, every day, every second. To prevent this type of falsified identity in our youth, we must raise them to continually look within.

This world is driven continuously by the masses of feeling that to quantify as a worthy human, you should possess wealth, be physically attractive, buy and apply the trendiest makeup, drive the perfect car, wear the most fad clothing, etc. 

I know this type of living will never work out, long term. I, myself, fell into the trap in my previous marriage. It was a matter of me enrolling my children in the best preschool, and having lunch with the most popular mothers. Heaven forbid If I didn't get invited to a specific book club event one night! The truth of the matter, it never really changes, except for it may no longer be the preschool you MUST get your child into, it then becomes the right college to get your children into. It's quite silly now reflecting on it all. There's always going to be a Molly Ringwald, Jon Cryer, Andrew McCarthy, and a James Spader. Our life is Pretty in Pink at one time or another.

The college scandal of Lori Laughlin and Felicity Huffman was a direct manifestation of what happens when ladies that have a deep lacking of self-love. We each must focus on the internal dialogues of our lives. We ALL will or have struggled at some point in time. It's not anything to feel embarrassed or ashamed of. For some reason, when we were little girls, we began believing that if we didn't have all of our little ducks in a row, we were somehow less than. This is a falsehood to the eenth degree and still weighs heavily on women my age and young girls. It creates a sense of insecurity, and therefore, that is the number one reason a young girl keeps secrets. When a person feels that they aren't loved unconditionally, they don't trust others. On the other hand, If we teach girls to appreciate themselves wholeheartedly, they will not feel vulnerable. They will believe in their all-knowing and powerful state!

I believe all things have a way of working out for the best. I think these ladies {Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin} will have much more appreciation of themselves, and also I would guarantee they have had a bit of a realisation that seeking the approval of their peers is no longer of importance. Drastic life experiences have a way of teaching us particulars specifically perfect for our inner being. Now, one might say, I would never do what those women did, however, what you may do in any given situation will be specific to you. It all depends on the thoughts you think and the energy you are RSVP'ing. It's not for us to say this or that about those women, by way of judgement, because I know what happens when we start judging others. It's not about anything other than jealousy, or a sense of egotistical nature that one feels "better than" and secretly likes when devastation ensues on others. The reason a person would furtively and gleefully be happy when faulty things happen to others is that they aren't pleased in their own life. It's nothing more. Why do you think The Real Housewives on the Bravo network is so popular? Because secretly, many women want to raise them up, and then watch inwardly when they fall. It goes directly back to the individuals watching the shows. We should be looking inside and asking ourselves why we gain pleasure from the downfall of these women. It's saying significantly more about us as a whole in society than what it is about the insecure women on these shows.

I will also clarify. I watched those shows for years. I make no bones about it, nor do I feel embarrassed. Truthfully, it was a diversion from my unhappy life. We are each on individual voyages. To take accountability for every single thing that's transpiring in our lives is the first and most necessary step towards inner self-worth/love. If we are confident and have significant amounts of self-worth, we need never to prove our worthiness to anyone. This should be our fervent endeavour. Unless we are mentally healthy ourselves, will we be able to instil those values into our children?

Have a lovely day, and I shall write again presently.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx


  1. Well written! I'm not on social media and grateful not to be, don't have TV either. It seem to me that drama is promoted. I would rather watch the birds flock and fly out my window.

    1. Now we're talkin! I feel the same way, It was a hard lesson learned for me though, as you know very well from my pasts posts. I miss you immensely! Hows your house selling going? I'm eager to hear. I am planning to go the route of a more Victorian lifestyle as well. It makes my life much simpler. I do love my blog though, there is no doubt about that.


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