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How To Dress Confidently Like Tasha Tudor {And The Truth Of Why More Women Don't Dress Old-Fashioned}

Monday, April 20, 2020

What makes a person considered an expert in a particular category? Or better yet, why do we listen to certain people about some subjects and consider others unfit to give their opinion, much less do what they suggest.

As young as I can remember, I have been different. In which, I have always dressed, acted, and found happiness in all things, regarded as ’different’ than other girls. In elementary and middle school, I dressed like Laura Ingall's Wilder. {I've made that clear about a billion times on this here ol' blog. I know. So save the eye-rolls, why don't cha. Err... Oh, God! Did that come off smart ass-ery, if so, I apologise? You know I didn't mean it that way. If anything I was letting you know I am fully aware I state the obvious and continuously repeat myself.} I had one friend say to me in 7th grade that If she were to give me a makeover, I would be sooo cute. {Does that mean even back then I was a weirdo? Possibly. Yes. Who are we kidding here?}

By the way, I never did let her give me a makeover. In my heart of hearts, even then before the world's opinion procured my head, I loved that I was different. I felt so happy about being unique. I used it to my advantage. Isn't that what our truth is when we are young? I believe at that age; we have a knowing that It's important to make ourselves happy. I am such an advocate for selfishness. {Err... That came out wrong, too. And before you get your knickers in a bunch, I'll explain more in another post with regards to self-interest, but for now, let me get on with this entry before I lose my train of thought, again!}

The world is more comfortable in so many ways when we are small, young and freedom-seeking; mostly, I think because we aren't as influenced by the opinions of the peanut gallery. Or, maybe that was just my experience, anyway.

What I mean is, that I have been setting trends all of my life. {Yes, Yes, I have. I know! Stop the presses, right?} Not in the way of mainstream media, but In the form of having the courage to dress, live or do things that aren't as effortlessly done by many other people. {Look, It takes courage to walk into a mall or the local Target dressed from head to toe in Victorian clothing. Or what about meeting up with ’ regular’ friends, family, or a celebrity for supper and you look like Demelza from Poldark?} I know from experience that you have to own that kind of uniqueness. One has to become and embody their divine individuality.

Furthermore, I remember Zack Pinsent from the BBC interview say that if one is going to dress in a particular style of clothing, such as the 17-19th century, you best be determined to be true to yourself. Because after making such a committed decision, walkthrough such controversy and even isolation at times from others that don’t understand you; why would anyone ever consider going back after that? And I couldn't agree with him more.

Just think about being in the same group where all the other women that are your peers wear the latest trendy styles, and you look like an old fashioned character from Jane Eyre. “Honey, not everyone knows Jane Eyre, much less what in the hell you're trying to prove with that get/up you're wearing.” And let’s not even start the conversation that has gone on about what your husband thinks of you. I can tell you that if your mate has an issue with how you're dressed, and makes snide comments such as, ” I'm not going out in public with you like that.” I'm here to tell you right here and now that your mate is insecure and cares wayyy too much about what other people think. I know now, from experience, that me wearing {or wanting to wear} old fashioned clothes was never about me, it was about my ex. If wearing old fashioned clothes makes your mate feel uncomfortable, they need to address some personal issues, not you. They have this way of thinking that appearances matter way too much. Perhaps you're being used to make him look better in front of his friends. Maybe he is using you as arm candy, and he has this idea that if all of his friends see that he has a pretty wife, their valued self-perception seemingly increases. Thus, they feel more value because of you. This is so common in marriages, more so than you think, too. One mate ends up conforming and changing to make their spouse happy instead of living their truth. And guess what happens over time? That’s right. You guessed it. A wall of resentment builds and ends up killing the marriage. No, It doesn't happen straight away; it happens over time, like layers of bricks-one-brick-at-a-time. Until one day you wake up to realise your whole marriage is a sham, you hate your life, your marriage and you desperately want out. I realised all of this in my first marriage, and that's precisely what I ended up doing. I got out. 

I kept telling myself over and over that it didn’t matter, or I felt guilty for wanting things to go my way for once, and furthermore, I had the Mormon guilt of not feeling like I had a right to choose decisions for my life. Somehow I was conditioned to believe I wasn’t Christian-like if I wanted things to be different. To this day honestly, I am still working through not being angry with men in general. I fully admit that I’m still little by little and day by day working through my built-up issues with men. And to be perfectly honest, Jeffrey had moments where he was a slight bit "over" me wearing old-fashioned clothes-every-single-day. But, the day he said something to me, {and it wasn’t rude or mean or anything} but I snapped back and said firmly, ” You or no one especially a man is going to tell me what I'm going to wear, and if you have an issue with it, that's on you buddy, not me.” Now, I probably didn't have to be so bitchy about how I responded, and later I discussed it with Jeffrey {as two partners respectively would do}, and he knows I have had issues about clothing, how I look and being "told" how to be. I don't take kindly to that type of utter shit, and I'm certainly not gonna be told what to do, nowadays. 

I'm just amazed at all of those times that other people want to dictate how I should be, and yet I never would infringe on how they dress or tell them what they should wear. I'm just not made like that, and I suppose it's because I know what it feels like to be told what to do. So, yeah, I'm respectful of what others choose to do. Hell, my dad has dressed up like Elvis Presley, since I was a teenager. Talk about how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 
I mainly receive one of three comments when I'm about town: ” you look so ladylike and pretty. Are you just getting off work from a reenactment? I love how you're dressed; I wish I had the courage to dress like that!”

I'm not fearful of ridicule, being stared at, or mocked for being different. I have too much confidence nowadays for that kind of pettiness. I've always loved the quote below. 

" First, they ignore, then they laugh, then they copy."   
I like to write about subjects, not purely because they are controversial, which many of them are, but, too, because I wanted to author a blog that I would want to read. Too often folks write about lovely things, sure, but sometimes I want to read deep and thought-provoking ideas. I want to know about things like why humans do and think the way they do. What makes Lindsey from Columbus, Ohio do or dress the way she does? {PS I don't know a Lindsey from Columbus Ohio just so we're clear.}

Why am I the one to write about this kind of thing? Because what better person to share those experiences than a person that has experienced it.

I'm not claiming to know everything there is to know about everything, or emulating a hero, such as Tasha Tudor, or Beatrix Potter; however, I do know a thing or two about being a trailblazer. Something that happens eventually when emulating a hero is that you begin doing the same type of things they do/did; however, over time, we gain our own identity. What I'm trying to say that happens is that I can try and be much like my favourite author/ artist, but after time and life experiences I am going to come out with similarities, but ultimately I'm going to be Raquel. That's the beauty of becoming. As much as I love and adore my spirited ol' ghostly friends, I am not them, nor will I ever be. That's not the objective when emulating another person. The aim is to appreciate and model those attributes we love about our heroes, but then take what you have learned, apply it, and keep doing that over and over. And then one day, you will realise you are someone else's hero. It's like a cycle, per se, a creators family tree. All of us are very different, no matter how similar we may seem. No matter how much we attempt to do things like another, there is a separation. 

I know I have heard people say, "oh, she's trying to be Beatrix or Tasha."  Actually, no. I'm emulating my hero and then becoming the most beautiful version of Raquel. I also happen to believe in reincarnation, so I know that when we resonate with folks that have since passed, and we have a resonance with someone {like I do with Beatrix} I can call in on her guiding spirit. We have the power to do this with anyone we find a connection. The thing about death and the afterlife is that I think there's a ton of resistance surrounding the topic. Almost like it's taboo to speak of the dead. It's not that relevant, truly. I have gained all of my understanding from Abraham Hicks practices about death. I know that If I can speak about it this easily {having lost my son to murder} I think that's a great indication that all of us are capable of creating what we want in this realm, and we have the power to achieve it. 

Another thing I've noticed from folks is they have irritability when they see someone emulating a famous person. They think it's egotistical, almost with an attitude of, "How dare you! You can't do that! What makes you so special? And who do you think you are?" This reaction is almost 100 per cent stemming from a person that finds jealousy because It's something they wish they also dared to do, but they can't follow through with it on their own, so you become a target of their aggression. Just so you know when or If you receive feedback like this, realise it's because they aren't tenacious enough {right now}. Take it as a compliment and not in a defensive way. If you know why the peanut gallery is doing what they are doing, knowing is half the battle. Am I right?

The reason I mentioned Beatrix Potter and Tasha Tudor is because I read in a book once about Tasha Tudor and the same kind of marriage difficulties that she had with her husbands were also the ones that I had in my first marriage. Her husbands both resulted in divorce, and one reason was that Tasha loved living an old fashioned life, and in the end, the men couldn't handle that lifestyle.
The same thing went for Marjorie Rawlings {author of The Yearling} first husband. He ultimately left her in Florida and moved back to New York where they first met because he despised the country life. These men seemed to have something in common. They believed they could change their wives, but ultimately the women were too strong-willed for those men. They underestimated the women. The women were the breadwinners, so they had an independent will, and they knew they could live happily all on their own. If a man isn't confident in his own manhood, he won't take lightly to that notion. 

So, all in all, never compromise your dreams, live them to the fullest degree and rest assured you'll be following your bliss and taking joy!


Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

4 comments :

  1. Dear Raquel, I know well every word you speak. And yes, Tasha and Beatrix are heroines of mine also. My husband couldn't handle this aspect of me either (call it experimental archaeology.) A friend once asked me what I preferred when I wasn't gadding about in 18th Century dress (at Colonial Williamsburg as an interpreter). I piped up instantly, Jacobean!I love the 17th century, but in trutb my daily drift is early Victorian, yes like Tasha, to the 1870s. Happily I am a docent at an historic house, so sometimes I really am on my way to or from the 1840s.
    Blessings to you, dear lady.

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    1. Kelly, I feel so tethered to you, just knowing that. It's so lovely to meet you and I quite appreciate you visiting me. Oh yes, I too love the 1870’s. You’re life sounds absolutely dreamy! Toodle~Pip darling...xxx

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  2. " First, they ignore, then they laugh, then they copy." I love this! As much as I admire the Victorian/reconstruction era (1870's), the first part of the century and Edwardian era suits me more, probably a little more simplistic (but some crazy big hats!) :-) Glad you're well.

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    1. Joey isn't that the best quote ever! Oh, I can see that! Those Edwardian hats are divine! Thank you for visiting me! Muawhhxxx

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