Why Women Compete With Each Other {And It's Not What You Think}

Why Women Are ’Caught Up’ In Competing With One Another

It was brought to my attention the other day when a well-meaning reader of my blog shared information with me about another blogger. She told me to check out the blogger's site to see if she was on target with what she was seeing; it looked very similar to the things I am presently doing in my business and life. (Might I augment, it's invariably some unsuspecting person that informs me of such things and not by seeking them out myself.) Even although I had no indication what she was talking about, curiosity got the better of me, so I slivered over to catch a peek.
(I also would like to add that when I receive contrast through my attraction, I am actually happy about it. It gives me another way of growing and understanding my life. The only way for me to ever make sense of things is for me to write about them. After I write, my vision is so much clearer. And for that, I am so appreciative.) 

After seeing what I did, my reaction was to write a blog post about it directly, but not one filled with nasty gossip or smashing the other woman, but one of understanding the deeper reason this person is quite clearly competing with me. 

(Jolly well, having this be my initial reaction, instead of anger, I can most assuredly say I've grown by leaps and bounds.)

My desire for this post is to shed light and explain where competition is derived and how to change it. Competing with someone is quite low on the scale of vibrational emotions. And to manifest our greatest desires, we must have alignment + vibration = manifestation as a hierarchy.
Undoubtedly in a bid to explain this type of behaviour, I’ll lay my personal experience at the alter.

I recall a time when I met this nice lady (let us call her Sara to make this example more natural to write about), and she had the most delightful marriage. Sara and her husband always did things together. He went with her to flea markets; they were eager about the same antiques, literature, would undertake woodworking projects, garden and do all sorts of things together. They were indeed best mates. In all honesty, I became quite resentful of her. I have long overcome this need to compete, as I'm quite aware of the resulting measure of where it stems. Allow me to explain. Today I have all of those same things (that were once desires of mine) with my Jeffrey, but at the time, I was married to my current ex-husband.

I had in my vibrational escrow account (definition of the vibrational escrow account: the place where all of your dreams and desires go to the minute we birth them in our minds, waiting for us to access them when we meet up with those desires on the same vibrational level.) a great desire to have those same things in my own marriage. Sara and her husband were shining a light (though not knowing it) to a deep desire of something I also longed to possess, which gave me significant discomfort. My inability at that time in my life to manifest this type of marriage seemed unattainable. I thought to myself many times, how am I going to have this same type of relationship when my (then) husband never has nor possessed character traits of this kind. From my experience, he never had once spent time in the gardens with me, could not stand a flea market, disliked old ways and thought being a farmer and carpentry was barbaric. It was not in his make up. However, instead of expressing my admiration for Sara, I sought to compete with her. In an area that I felt, I had ’over’ her which was her cleanliness as a housekeeper. (Now, you wouldn't possibly judge me for doing such a thing, would you? We all find ways of soothing ourselves when feeling powerless. She wasn't a great housekeeper. And yes, I was a mcjudgey pants back then, and I universally paid the price for it eventually.) This situation and how I wrangled ideas in my head may sound absolutely bananas. Still, if we are honest and genuinely transparent, I can only imagine many of us have done similar. It may be in a different way, but we all have done it. (Unless you're pure perfect and that surely isn't the case because I don't remember hearing of your lobotomy. Settle down; I'm only having a go at you because I consider you my chuckaboo.)

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes.

Now reflecting back, my deep desires were similar to that of Sara, or else I wouldn’t have cared at all that she had a lovely marriage.
Have you ever felt competition with someone and absolutely no competition with others? The reason for this is when our mermaid inner being has a deep desire, and we see another person attaining that same desire, we think we're upset with that person, but that isn’t what’s happening. The woman (Sara) had simply allowed what she wanted to come into her experience through downstream thinking. In my discontent and needing to place blame instead of knowing it wasn't about Sara having a darling marriage, I began competing with her in an attempt to put my anger somewhere. The reason for this is because the one competing (me) had not found a way of allowing in my desires and dreams, as Sara had. Anytime another woman has something that we want, there is an urge to put her down in an attempt to make ourself feel better. We do this because we were conditioned by well-meaning folks to believe that when someone is getting something we also would like to have, that if they are already getting it, there's no more for us. It's the mentality of scarcity thinking, which does not exist in this expansive universe. But many wouldn't know it, because most of the world continues to live in that mainstream mediocre mentality.

To understand how to stop competing with other women, we must get to the heart of the matter. What a desire should mean is that we have aspirations and dreams too. But instead of being angry with women, be appreciative to the universe for shedding light on our desires through that other woman/person. We have grown up with a conditioned belief that we have to compete because we aren't worthy of having all we desire. Though this isn't true at all, we absolutely can and will have all of our dreams and desires. Having that knowing within will surely prevent the need for us to compete with anyone, ever again.

So the next time you feel that little bubbling up of discord when you cast your eyes upon someone with similarities that you also want, be mindful that you, too can and will have your dreams come true. The only prevention of a desire is not allowing it in. So allow in all that you want dear friend! There's enough pie for everyone to have as many pies as conceivable. All in all, there is nothing we can not have, be or do and competing with someone is never the buried treasure we are seeking. It's the coming into alignment with our very own mermaid inner being, and that's as simple as it gets.

Have you ever felt competition and If so, how did you handle it?

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx


  1. This is so good! (And I am still here, reading every post, just in a quiet space)

    And funny timing. My sister had sent me a book via Amazon that she thought I might enjoy. I texted her thanks, then received a video chat detailing things wrong with the book . . . "she's not that great a writer, some of it is so predictable . . " and on like this for a bit. Then my sister just stopped herself and said, "You know? I think this is all just sour grapes. She did with her life something like what I'd like to do". Very similar to your post! Yes, we all want to immediately jump to that spot of finding her weakness to quell or tamp down our feelings of jealousy, but as you say, allowing the insight into our dreams and longings helps us move forward - all good.

    1. Kimberly, I'm so happy to hear you're still around. It's nice to know I have friends here in bloggersville. I do feel as my blog is my happy space and great positivity. I hope for my friendly readers anyway. Thank you for being such a lovely friend. Ice really began to open up that part of myself again. Please keep me informed of your housing and progress forward. I can't wait to hear where you move to. Exciting Things are happening. Love, Raquelxxx


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