I Am Not Here To Fit Into Your World; I'm Here To Make My Own

At every opportunity, I possess various aspects I yearn to exclaim from the rooftops. Jeffrey Shawn let out to me today, for particularly a tiny woman (5'2), you have much to say, sweetheart.

My curiosity perked, and I pondered if invariably it was the many years of clutching my thoughts. I feel an internal spring of creativity and my living in words that have broken. Happily, I am to report I fear I shall never resign from writing and painting—and shall plod on delightfully. I admire folks who can keep all things pretty and skin deep, whether on their personal blogs or social media (books are the exception), without revealing themselves and their vulnerabilities. I said "admire" because, for me personally, I could not be anything but transparent, and I know every landlocked human possesses dualities. Despite that, I have recently discovered a factoring occurrence in this notion on blogs. Many blogs have transitioned into revenue streams and loads of advertising, creating a loss of personal connection with others, which expands outwardly, creating more division. Either that or they've been abandoned altogether. To be capable of being vulnerable and of revealing oneself to others with an openness of personal contact, friendship, and understanding, one must have a strong self-concept. Otherwise, you get most folks who only share bits and bobs of their lives, and they are sporadic at best. When self-confidence is thine possession of character, there is no longer a need to feel safeguarded. Hence, many would get back to blogging the way they used to at the start of the blogging phenomenon. It is also another way of seeing who started and continued blogging because they absolutely love it! I am a die-hard, that's for certain. You could not fling me off if you tried. Steve Jobs said once, "If you do not love what you do when things get tough, you won't last; you'll give up because any sane person would. It is hard to get through anything if you despise it, and that if it's barely tolerable on a good day." He declared it accurately.

I'm steadily thriving and learning, most notably on my voyage of awakening; it is never a mere completed process. Landlocked folks do not take this information warmly. Human folk appreciate finalisation, which springs from a society of accomplishment equating to self-worth. At some juncture, all landlocked humans WILL awaken and begin to accept that our worthiness is a birthright. I aspire to encourage this philosophy. I have planned and developed it as a lesson that I will be incorporating for one of the future classes/small gatherings here at The Carter Settlement for landlocked mermaids. 

As I was working through a particular part of illustrations in Sawyer's book (The Tale of Sawyer Lamb), I thought about a common trait I have had for many years. Would you like to be privy to it? Alright, I shall impart it with you. I have often noted here on ye olde blog that I had to move house often (25 times within 25 years) in my previous marriage, which created a belief of flux and instability. Therefore, I pined for a home where I felt secure and settled. In my more profound understanding of developmental trauma threaded with my previous marital woes, the "feeling stable" must arrive from within because it was never about a home creating firmness within me. Still, I believed it did for many years. In "owning" a home, instability does not equate to stability unless that is my belief, which it was; for quite some time. Stability is whatever we believe it to be. Allow me to get on with the breakdown of my internal thinking. All be it offset; I did not make the connection at the time as conditions are always at the base of beliefs. This assumption (albeit askew and untrue, as I stated) caused me to 'put off' things. The notion of 'putting off' became a common thread in many aspects of my decision making. I have never experienced a lack of ideas, creativity or abundance, but I developed a belief in 'in the future'.

As these last few months have progressed (the new belief tracks I created for myself and listened to while sleeping), I have now shelved the belief of 'putting things off' for good. Assuming I can teach folks how to grow their own faith/internal trust and provide them with the treasure trove tools, they will then demonstrate their desires and dreams; and I will be chuffed to bits for them! However, I must first unravel these theories by experimenting with myself. That is what I am currently tending to, dear hearts.

In continuing this post, I'll explain why some landlocked humans can manifest in numerous areas and then in another region; they even now struggle. 

How can one tell when they have less faith? It is simple. One must look around their environment and life. Suppose there is still no manifesting of a particular desire. In that case, that is the gauge for recognising a lackful foundational belief issue tied in somewhere. For example, my book about Sawyer (The Tale of Sawyer Lamb), I once tussled to believe that I could be a New York Times best-selling author on my own. Instead, I thought for quite some time that I needed someone "out there" to get me my desire. That is not true at all. Still, folks grapple with this, and I relate no end. Still, I have never felt wrestled in other areas, such as manifesting my twin flame. How do I know? My life is demonstrating it on the screen of my reality. This acknowledgement is such a lovely knowing. Our lives are showing and constantly reflecting on our beliefs about everything and everyone. If you do not believe me, I implore you to test it for yourself. Please don't take my word for it. Select something, anything, for folly's sake; perhaps you should like to prove me wrong that our thoughts do not create. Here is your challenge. Decide to manifest something (for instance, seeing a green Volkswagen or a yellow butterfly). In your experiment, it must be something you could care less about and then go about your day. I guarantee you will see it. And lady luck, now you know God is nothing more than your own wonderful human imagination, and our thoughts create everything!

I can easily manifest many things, but I struggle with more resistance in a few areas of my life. We all are like this to a degree. I'm genuinely embracing my vulnerabilities and keeping myself stable by allowing for deliverance. It's been much more successful now that I've understood my most significant motivation for my actions. My self-worth was terribly shot for many years, which led me to need and long for external self-assurance and validation from others. Now that I no longer require verification (as I give myself that assurance), there are no longer those internal emotional triggers of feeling I must perform and toil away at life. At one time, I would constantly remain in a state of "busy" so others would think me a hard worker. Either that or I would be about work to feel that I possessed value as a woman. I'm appreciated because I give myself value. I have a cousin (although he's now croaked, too), but he was notorious for saying, "what's the rush?" There should be no rush; however, landlocked mermaids often want to keep busy doing things and moving about at such a pace that there is no time for the simple calm of life. I feel so tranquil these days. But allow me to remind you, I understand folks that have difficulty with this trait. I had the most challenging time with it myself. For years I had inklings of recognising I was doing this. However, I honestly used to believe that I didn't know how to change from a foundational level because I did not know how before I understood conscious creating. I was not taught these skills. Not for nothing; we are taught how to memorise a times table chart in school but not trained to deal with trauma and our feelings. It's barbaric, and I want to change this in my lifetime.

Sawyer was a beautiful excuse for me to pull my children from public schools and begin homeschooling them with my very own developed curriculum. I successfully turned a child that was not going to qualify to remain in the school system. He was flicked from three public schools for delinquency, diagnosed with an inability to learn and repeatedly told that he needed ADD medication. Finally, I removed him from taking a prescription by placing him on essential oils (doterra). He graduated on time (after I made him repeat two entire grades in one semester) at the top of his class with high honours. My son's success is living proof of my efforts as a mother and teaching from a place where I knew what my son needed for his soul to grow. I am incredibly proud of this development I created in education for children. I plan to execute this in a way that will remove our children from the confines of governmental institutions towards self-sufficient schools, and this begins at a grassroots level in our small communities. I have much work to do before I pop my clogs. If I am 50, I suppose I have another two or so decades to implement this revolution if God willing.

My mind is all over the ocean. I am aware and now moving on. Our conscious mind is the male, and our subconscious mind is the mother (the female). Although we move daily through mindful living, our habits and how we live each day are from our subconscious minds. This is when my belief tracks come into play at night while sleeping. I shall prattle about that another time because I realised most of that will be in my book The Little Mermaid's Transformational Tale.

I was leading you into an inquiry but slipped the hook. Heh...

As I was pondering the Eastertide since February (Mrs Carters, First Annual Stillwater®️ and The Carter Settlement Celebration), I intended to have the picnic on the Chinsegut Hill lawn. However, they are having some complications and renovations done and did not return my messages. I made several attempts to no avail, and then I began thinking this must be a sign from above. I was not meant to have the gathering there; it was meant to be here. I reminded myself to follow the flow, and I stopped putting up a resistance. Again, nearly one of those 'putting off' moments, however, I wistfully stopped my footing. I gathered my folks together and inquired if I might have the event here. They obliged in kind, and so we're off and running at full steam ahead.

I shall update you further with the most delightful images and pleasantries. Have a lovely day, friends. Cheers. 

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx 


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