The Ebb And Flow
At the start, when I began contemplating how I should or may shift my online presence, I consulted with my dearly beloved husband. He is my closest confidant and then my most cherished friend P. It has been weighing upon my heart for some time now as I've been truly trying to find those kindred spirits to share with my online offerings.
In 2006 when I began my online blog, there wasn't competition in my world. I merely wrote to jot down my feelings and diary my daily online giving. Upon tucking my wee cherubs into bed and saying their little prayers that fairy beasts wouldn't come for them from their balcony windows, I would type away, never knowing where or what I was attempting to accomplish. I enjoyed it greatly and deeply felt the desire to share, whether by words or a DIY project; now, looking back, my soul longed for womanly connections. I was somewhat motivated to write and create, yet a great deal of my motivation would ebb and flow like the ocean's tides. It would rise, and then a crashing wave of thunder would knock it back down.
In the beginning, I was doing it for no other reason than for the love of it, and I enjoyed it whilst it lasted. Then in 2017, when everything came crashing down, and through a series of unfortunate events, I lost eleven years of my online words, a swift desire to write online again deeply awakened within me. I knew I would have to utilise my wheelhouse and a great notion of tenacity by beginning all over again.
My blog has remained, and I plan for it to sustain itself for as long as I am capable of putting words together and creating art. When I filed for a divorce from my ex-ill-suited mate, my blog was there for me. It was my happy place. When my son died, my blog was there for me; again, it was my happy place. The slow recovery of healing from a most difficult experience brought me back into the land of the living. All that I care for has improved because I have an allegiance to my online presence; this blog. I believe deep within my heart many women also desire similar notions as myself, and this is why I have such a compassionate nature for this space. Though it is small, it is mighty. If you are curious about why I began asking those who enjoy my work to sign up for Patreon, it is for several reasons; one is that for a very long time, I had difficulty loving myself enough to feel I deserved to be rewarded (paid) for my craft. I often think many women also grapple with this notion; this matter at heart is why I feel a great deal of responsibility to inspire women to rise to the occasion of deeply recognising one's worthiness. To find wisdom and delight in writings and illustrations and so many helpful, moving and beautiful things is what brings us together in love and companionship. The notions and matters I care about, read and adore are at the heart of why I carry on with my little niche online. I want you to know how much your example of showing up to read my blog and sign up for my Patreon means the world to me. It is a sign that I mean something to you and you care about me because we have a tethering cord strung about from soul to soul, linking us as dear, intrinsically bound friends. I believe our only challenge as women is if we aren't willing with gentle, loving hearts to unite. Otherwise, nothing is keeping us from creating the most extraordinary fairytale world; fairytales give us our imaginary wings to believe anything is possible. We, as women, are the mothers; we are the rulers asunder the moon and the shining stars of a most wonderful poetic world.
I understand the weighing and the negatives of the world, yet I am an eternal optimist, and I find when I share goodness, more goodness reigns upon me and (you), my darling friends here in this special little chipmunk's nest.
As of late, I have felt called upon to discern how to make my online life and business feel more like sitting upon a rock next to the ledge of the ocean sending out my thoughtful ripples whilst also deeply feeling the connectedness of others. And although throughout our lives, there will be constant waves, rushing rivers and brewing storms upon the billowy ocean of anxiousness, our underwater haven will be the place of calm, gentle ripples where life is slow, homey, happy, old-timey and simplistic. This kind of life is much needed.
My dear hearts, our lives take fastidious employment, for it will always require toiling away to shift our minds and focus from the algae smudges on the porthole looking out of windows from an outside world full of distraction. It requires conscious effort to swim furiously against the tides and currents that would lead us off course away from our imaginary world of Taking Joy and Following our Bliss, yet as long as we are in this together, no tide can separate us, for we have life rafts for all. Today this is my letter of deepest and most sincere sentiments messaged in a bottle.
I hope your day is beautiful and worthy of bringing a smile upon your face. You deserve it.
P.S. I am having a book giveaway for The Tale of Sawyer Lamb. Merely comment on this post or the previous post, and next week, I will randomly choose seven winners. I am also sending a sweet little print of the sheep I painted along with each book.
Take Joy in the little things.
Most affably yours til my next swim, Razz