When Identity And Importance Tethers To Money, Self-Worth Is Insufficient & Why Folks Have A Bee In Their Bonnet About Ballerina Farm Winning Mrs. America(n)
[Now, before I plunge right in, I want you to pay notice that I share my subjective opinion on this matter, as it is my perspective, and I am entitled. Also, I've paid great attention upon my writing that my dander is not up, and you most certainly don't have to agree with me. I likewise directly comprehend that I attracted all of this into my life as it was brought on my behalf from my personal beliefs (at that time). We are all walking around on our sea legs and must learn how to walk upon our stems (legs) as we all have belief systems that prop up our assumptions. Therefore, in every article I compose, this is why I relentlessly bang on about why we all would do well to imprint new beliefs. Thus, we would no longer have such negative life experiences. Okay, now that I've taken care of that little bit of housekeeping, let me get on.]
I've spoken for many years on the topic of the ostracising that my son Sawyer and I underwent in the Mormon faith, and once again, I will call this into focus today. I must confess it was the most unkind experience from people supposedly Christian that I've ever witnessed in my life. In all honesty, I took an unavoidable amount of unkindness in the church, but when you stir about and on every whim decide to begin targeting my dear boy (or any of my children, for that matter), that's where I drew the line. Furthermore, I was the only one to advocate for my son, as his own father left him out to dry, which was despicable. A father (and supposed man of God) who has revealed his entire church membership today was unadulterated hypocrisy that bears no bounds. To drive a woman and child/children to feel unsafe and unprotected is most unappealing. I do not apologise for revealing the disposition of anyone's true character.
The crisis nowadays with society is that uncharacteristic individuals have been utilising their nasty behaviour and getting away with it because most folks look the other way. Bloody hell, someone takes a stand. In addition, I don't indicate running about to social media, making a meme and believing that will improve things. That's not taking a stand, nor is clacking on about it in interviews or foddering about relentlessly. This kind of change requires problem solvers, not talking heads, who desire ratings for their shows with millions of views. What nonsense. That makes people see we are all collectively in agreement, but now what? Let's actually DO SOMETHING. We have too many people talking the talk, but nobody wants to walk the walk. How long before it will take one person to have had enough to snap? And we wonder at the notion we have school shootings and sociopaths gunning down folks in our local restaurants. It doesn't take rocket science to know why this happens. It's not guns that's the problem; it's the folks who possess the guns of which where the issue lies. Nine times out of ten, go back and investigate the perpetrator's nature. I will guarantee you this individual was most likely suffering from psychological or mental health issues, such as emotional wounds in their environment. We must dig and excavate at these ailments from the rooted core. We as a society promenade with little rose-coloured glasses on in public, but behind closed doors, these egregious individuals are repeatedly awful people—duplicity where art thou.
Pardon the tangent.
"Evil prevails when good men do nothing."
If you want to know why I share my background with you, it is most certainly not to disparage anyone for their religious beliefs. I powerfully advocate for folks worshipping and believing in their faiths. I love everyone equally for their views because I respect others. However, I also, in that same regard, must be granted my sentiments. I do not expect that in sharing my story for every woman to leave their Mormon or Pentecostal faith; however, my standing up and having a voice will most assuredly give others the compassion and understanding where no one else is advocating for them. My incidents aren't irregular; they are much more common than you know, yet no one speaks on it for fear of alienation. I'm simply the only woman bold enough to do so without fear of the backlash. Most women are petrified to speak out for fear they, too, would encounter what I underwent.
Now allow me to get on with the tethering conversation about identity and the feeling evoked of importance (significance) tied to the amount of money one possesses. Directly, you may wonder how money, prestige and Hannah Nelleman have anything in common. Darling, lend me a few minutes, and I'll explain.
This subject did not come on the heels of the BF (Ballerina Farm) Hannah Nelleman and her winning Mrs. America(n). It came from a conversation I had with my folks this week, and then this morning, I read a snippet substack article as the writer had her knickers in a twist regarding Instagram mum influencers.
"A suspension of disbelief feels necessary when asked to consider that someone with seven young children could take care of those children, homeschool some of those children, help attend to a 328-acre ranch teeming with cattle, hogs, donkeys, horses, ducks, chickens, and cats; cook seemingly every meal from scratch; prevent her house from gobbling her whole; find time to dance; and do it all with a smile on her face. BF attracts so many eyeballs because Nelleman is the embodiment of a maternal ideal wholly impossible for most of us to attain." ~Sarah Petersen
Nonetheless, I recognise that when we take umbrage with someone, it's because, inevitably, we have an unresolved self-worth wound rising to the surface that needs mending. I think this may be the case with Sarah Petersen. I don't fault her by any means, as we all have wounds that get brushed. That is the beauty of life and what makes it go round'. However, as many bloggers are conversing about the matter, I would also give my two pence, as I have an entirely valid and different perspective. I like to make my point coming from a woman who left the Mormon church eight years ago, and you'll soon learn one of the reasons why. Bless Hannah Nelleman; I am sure she's a lovely lass. I had never heard of her, but a few years back, a relative asked, "Oh, do you know of the Instagram account Ballerina Farm? You should follow her." I thought to myself, no, thank you, because I don't swoon over famous folks, celebrity types and certainly not a random adorable ballerina Mormon lass. Mind you, I do not mean anything disparagingly about Hannah, again, as I am sure she is most assuredly lovely, and I don't have a dog in this fight; merely, she is front and centre and asleep like most folks in religion not yet awakened, which seems to be rather more common than not these days.
Organised religion and many religions in general will do that to a woman. I have such devotion and sympathy for women caught up in the controlling disposition of faith, honestly, because I know the truth on the other side of that life, and it's not pleasurable. The Mormon church heads of authority hand-appoint particular individuals, such as Ballerina Farm, and make them the epitome of what other Mormon women should strive to become. It's subtlest idol worship at its finest. They 'big up' these certain women and run them through the mill of idolatry. Do you think it's a coincidence BF is a Mormon woman, with all the "aspects" of what motherhood, homesteading, perfectionism, wealth, and praise should be with 6.3 million followers? She's pumped through the Mormonism culture system, and it's worked for decades upon decades, and it's still working. The church needs well-behaved women riddled with comparing themselves to their sisterhood. Instagram fame and low self-worth (for most women in the church and religions) go hand in hand. The church convinces members to remember to be devout, good little subservient wives (and tithe payers), all in the name of building the kingdom of God with obedience and an eternal promise of a place in the celestial kingdom.
Did no one learn a thing from the Pentecostal worshipping Rachel Hollis's charade? I ask you.
'You might as well try to turn back Niagara as me from my purpose.' — Elizabeth Robins
I love my friends in religion (both Pentecostal and Mormonism); however, I will never stand by and say nothing about society and how many women are living a veneer life; the absurdity is beyond measure. Evidently, we all need a refresher course in self-love and idol worship, and I'm leading the charge. I intend to prattle on about this type of hypocrisy until folks begin listening, and there's not a cat's chance in hell without claws I plan on stopping anytime soon. So buckle up my fruits.
(And a little disclaimer that if any of this post stands bothersome, It is all in good fun. Perhaps my tonic for those offended would be to recite the Taylor Swift lyrics,
"It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me
At tea time, everybody agrees
I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.”)
Three years ago, I went to work on creating new subconscious beliefs about money and value. Just yesterday, I was having a chatter with my folks, and this topic came up again. I began explaining that I was (unknowingly at the time of my upbringing) placing constant importance on people who possessed money, such as what makes BF a tantalising life to emulate. She comes from money, and she married money, so having wealth surely charades the truth, as there's no possible way she's accomplishing all of those things listed earlier by herself. Sure, she makes it look easy peasy because that's what the Mormon culture creates. And if she is trying to do it all, I assure you she will eventually have some sort of a breakdown. It's not humanly possible to be and do everything to perfection, but hell, if the church won't make you effort til you drop dead or kill yourself first. Even if it's most challenging, it's never enough, and it will never be good enough. This exact reason is why the number one state statistically in the country for women taking depression medication and getting breast augmentation comes from the state of Utah among Mormon women. Do you think that's another coincidence? If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you.
There was always a significant emphasis from the Carter side of the family that, through my upbringing, if a person possessed wealth, they were deemed important. Mind you, when I met my ex, dated and married him, we were poor as church mice. My love language is gifts because that equals love to me. Do you know what your love language is? I do not speak on this to place blame on how my folks raised me, merely to teach others to take a vested interest in themselves to understand that money (nor fame) equates to significance. Even so much as following accounts like the BF and ideally believing she has it all. No one has it all, and I don't care one whit how much something appears to look that way. Let's not unquestioningly believe everything we see. One must learn to feather this foe; if not, the continued awful feelings of unworthiness and comparison will haunt relentlessly, and why many women end up leaving or having terrible anxiety from consuming Instagram.
Loads of people in the world will allow many o' misgiving if a person is wealthy. And it is true in our world; there are often folks who were maybe poor growing up and then get a little or a lot of money and will use it to try and fix external fortes to make things "appear" better than they are. The profound reason for my teachings is to bring an awareness that having money doesn't make a person happy. No, but it makes things loads easier in life. To have money is quite fun and very much a Take Joy moment in my life. Yes, you may say to me in response, "Everyone knows that money doesn't make a person happy, Razz." However, I will reiterate yes, that is true to an extent, but if one loves oneself purely, whether money is there or not, it is a beautiful experience to have wealth rather than not. Wealth and abundance are natural benefactors for raising one's vibration and positive self-concept.
Folks will say that money doesn't buy happiness, but they won't necessarily go about truly living that, for their actions show differently. Most folks are out in the world trying to get and have money because they think when they get the money, they will feel better and so on and so forth. This mindset never works, but by gosh, people will die trying. People are trying to attain money to fill the vapid hole in their souls, and they think money will fix it, but soon learn it never does.
My blog is to create and invoke self-awareness of the many contradictions of the nauseating masses. We must BE the change for the world to change. Capesh? Please understand me; I've never viewed money as a negative belief. You could tell me till the cows come home that money is the root of all evil and having money is wrong, etc. I would say to you, if you believe that, that's on you, not me. You're not going to project your money scarcity beliefs onto me. I believe money is a lovely energy, and it's so fun having money. If you hold a negative money belief, you must not have money, or the money you do have is straining through your fingers like a sieve. My desire was always to possess loads of money; nevertheless, I wanted to have it for notions such as founding my nonprofit, The Carter Settlement, bringing into the world little workshops to create change for humanity, etc. Many years ago, I came to terms with myself and healed from requiring the money to make me feel significant. This deficient matter is quite common if you've ever seen the world as those who have wealth and aren't happy. They spend their fortunes buying all the external measures in hopes it will fill the void they have within. Have a looksie at the many singers, comedians, or entertainers wreaking havoc because they achieved money yet soon learn all the money in the world does not make for authentic happiness.
There was a conversation betwixt my folks where I was giving an example about a woman who had begun a relationship with a man. And because he was financially wealthy, the other aspects of this person were looked over. I began banging on about the justifications folks will give; 'If a person has money,' many people will overlook many o' things or pay to make things that might be deemed disapproving disappear; just throw a little quid at it. Well, I should reiterate if we are superficial and we think we're hiding our most genuine thoughts about folks with or without money, they have a way of revealing their most authentic beliefs. I shop now and plan to continue shopping at Walmart, and when I was broke, no one knew better whether I was wealthy or dirt poor. I wear my old-timey clothes to fine stores and less fine stores. If a person needs to exhibit prosperity, it is quite common they are an insecure individual and most likely don't have financial abundance. That's not always true; I'm just stating it is quite common. People who flaunt around as if they have money to burn (or those who have new money) will often overcompensate for their deficiencies.
Wealthy folks are not always so self-evident, so people might want to keep that in mind when assumptions are at play. Just because most folks are trying to fool the world into believing they are of fortune, they are the ones who are usually giving away all the clues of being impoverished without even knowing it. Genuinely wealthy folks do not have to show they're rich; however, poor-minded folks do. That's just the truth. Abundance is a mindset, and money is merely energy, so remember wealth whispers and money talks; know the difference and act accordingly.
Most affably yours til my next swim, Razz