Connecting The Dots

"One cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something—your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down and has made all the difference in my life." ~Steve Jobs

I reviewed my royalty sales records at the weekend and realised I had worked as an official author and illustrator for six years.

Today, I've decided to focus on my books and my blog writing with intense clarity. I have been doing well in remaining consistent, but I realise my passion and consistency have not been up to par, and I should hone my craft more than ever. I've spent so many years wanting to have a beautiful home, my "Cottage of Belonging," to feel like I can write and do my best work, not realising I AM doing my best work now. I am very proud of myself regardless of what others would ever say. I am a New York Times best-selling author because I decided that several years ago. Let them call us delusional, for it's the delusional ones who change the world. Hell or high water, my spirit is determined. I have beat the odds; no more looking to the future of "then I'll be happy." I am resetting myself to remain firmly focused and aligned. My greatest passion and most profound love is my writing. It is how I make sense of the world. 

Most importantly, i must remain focused on my writing at all costs. Until a few days ago, the excuse was that because I am a Pisces constantly all over the place, that was acceptable, and I couldn't change it, but that is a silly ol' belief. I am changing that belief as it serves me not an ounce of value. Furthermore, many successful folks are Pisces. That's not to say it has ever been a bad thing. Still, after several days of hypnosis, I think my subconscious mind is guiding me to my most authentic self. At the heart of who I am, yes, an artist and many other things, but a writer is who I am at my core. My writing has never betrayed me. Letters and words have literally saved my life. Quite honestly, when Sawyer died, the first thing I did was write a little storybook to heal my heart. That book then took four years to release into the world because as beautiful as it was to write, I couldn't bring myself to illustrate it. To illustrate, I had to reread my manuscript, and the words hurt me deeply. The little scenarios in the book were actual events that occurred in life. I had to take a tragedy and turn it into a triumph of never-ending happiness. Therefore, the manuscript went into a cupboard for years until I could come to terms with the death. In addition, the book represented my child, so in essence, i felt as long as i held onto that book, i was keeping my boy with me, and no one could take him from me, but once I let go, I was in my heart letting him go. Dear friend, I could not do it straight away. It tore my heart out, so I sat with those feelings and allowed myself permission to feel the pain. I had to allow myself to grow, walk through all the steps, and know it was all okay.

My mum (well-intentioned and wanting to help) said to me, "You just need to understand that he's in a better place and that I needed to stop using the "F" word so much." Don't ever tell a mother that. That was the day I let Hell's fury on her because no one has the right to say to a mother how to heal the death of their child. I know my mum meant well, so mum, if you’re reading this, you know i adore you.

If I want to angrily scream at the top of my lungs or use profanities, then that is what a mother gets to do. Do not ever think one must be appropriate. If I am not hurting anyone, I can grieve how I choose, and I'll not stand for any of that nonsense on stilts from folks who haven't a clue of such pain. 

If I have to write for decades undiscovered, that is what I'll do; although, I do not believe that will happen. I have a mission and a life purpose. My work is bigger than me, and I am built for this. 

Do you know a woman said to me in an email once when I released Sawyer's book "The Tale of Sawyer Lamb" last year on his birthday, and I quote, "Who cares you wrote a stupid children's book? Anyone can write a dumb children's book? It doesn't take much to string a sentence or two together. You're not special or smart."

So when anyone wonders about the things done to me by others and Sawyer's father specifically (because he should've been a person there for me as i am the mother of his children) when my boy passed, you will understand after reading my book, "The Little Mermaid's Transformational Tale why i struggled so deeply." I have consistently beat the odds. After spending decades, my sanity tested, endeavouring to drive me to madness, I almost took my own life. No, and that wasn't even enough; I then endured heinous things behind the scenes to make me appear crazy to those who knew me. This kind of tactic from a narcissist is what I am also writing in my book. This kind of abuse must be brought to the open, because perhaps if i had known what was happening it wouldn't have taken me almost three decades to leave a marriage. The viper-tongued person never bargained for my resilience, nor that I would expose him, which is me using my voice for the many women who can't or, should I say, feel they can't. At least not right now, but i believe, given the permission, more women will come forward. 

 I love my work and myself; and im not going to feel bad in saying that. The only way to do great work is to love what I do. I will write for myself and for you. 

Have a happy day, my friends.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Razz

February's Fair Maids

Good morning dear friends,

Rabbit Rabbit! February, my birth month and the month of love.

I had such a lovely day yesterday. My (soon to be) sister in law came to visit Scarlette Rose Cottage. It was my first visit; we had an entire pot of earl grey tea and filled our gills with biscuits. It's so lovely to have friends. I especially love and relate to Annie because she's a Pisces like me. I'm among mermaidens, my landlocked kind. Smile. I'm sure you understand I am invariably thinking about incorporating mermaids into my brand at every turn. Have I never actually told you outright why I named the little cottage Scarlette Rose? Sometimes I'm not sure what I write, as I'm always yapping at the jaw about something or nother and can't remember from one moment to the next what I've written and what I thought I wrote. Ya, know, because I self talk all day and think I've had conversations with folks when in fact, no, it was all in my waterlogged head. This landlocked life is a new sensation—wink wink. The point is, (mercy lawd, get to it dear sweet Raquel) Scarlette Rose is what I named the little storage building at my folks. I've been slowly turning it into an 1850's Victorian cottage after the mermaid character in my storybook, The Tale of Merrymaid Scarlette Rose. If you recall, when Jeffrey Shawn and i moved in temporarily with my folks, Sawyer had just died. In a bid to help me heal and have something to keep me distracted, my dad allowed me to create something lovely from his storage building. He called it his Elvis room and It hadn't been used in years.

I jotted down several storybook ideas into my diary about adoption.  

Yesterday, I was thinking about what to write about because I have so many blog titles in my draft folder, but sometimes I write an entire post and then don't feel like posting any of them when it comes down to it. Then I thought, well, I'm just going to keep this blog as random as can be. It's just how my noggin works, and it's kept me alive all this time, so why change it. So one day, I'll write about how my grandmother's cornbread got the name "dog bread", which will be in the back of Sawyers book The Tale of Sawyer Lamb and the next day I might talk about mindset work. I have no idea what I'm going to post from day to day. I don't like to plan because I think I should be myself, and that means I want my blog to make as little sense as humanly possible. Hehe... I don't get out much, can you tell?

I think I've realised I must be myself. Will I still use flowery, lovely words, yes? Will I then switch it up dramatically? Also yes. I love where my life is today. I will never stop speaking with a British accent, but I'm also southern to the core, so I just might as well accept it. I figured out one-day last week that if I just keep writing and writing eventually, something will catch on. I'm an optimistic fool that way.

Last night I tried to give The Gilded Age another go, and no, just no. The shame of it all. I have no words. Well, actually, I have a lot of words for it, but let's leave it for another day because I'm still reeling.

I heard The New York Times title it "Dime Store Downton", and I agree. But, let's move on before I cry.

I didn't sketch yesterday because I have been stuck on a particular page and how I wanted it to look, so I tend to swim away until I can come back to it and see the vision with clear eyes. It's been a little distressing because I am on a short deadline. I've done it to myself. I want to hit the mark but not at the cost of making my work rubbish. Pray for me.

Today I'm going to meet a sweet new friend at the pub. She recently moved to my hometown, and I'm very excited. I think shell love being a part of Stillwater, The Petticoat Philosophy. Oh, how exciting; let's see if I can keep from screwing this friendship up. Hehe... no, but seriously I know I've found new beliefs about friendship, so I think we will be forever friends. The End.

I love you, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

My Blog Is Evolving {And My MerryMaid Scarlette Rose Petal Tea Scones Receipt}

Good morning dear friends,

I am having a cup of Tetley. I have a few things I should like to share with you.

Firstly, as I have spent the weekend preparing to take my business to the next level, I wanted to explain what my intentions are for my blog. I am a steadfast organised individual with all aspects of my life; mostly contributing to having four children, and it seems an essential characteristic to possess if one is to be a quite accomplished multi-tasker.

After I created my new blog in 2017 and as a practice of living the law of attraction, I have allowed my blog to evolve naturally. I follow the inspired moments, and it's been such a lovely evolution of expansion. I absolutely love my blog! I know each aspect has naturally come to be at just the perfect time. And now this next expansion is me creating a more regular schedule for blog content. I'm building something, dear friends. A few months ago, I changed the categories to fit the dimensions of each endowment. So I feel the next logical step would be to create a post for each weekday to represent each endowment. This way, it keeps things balanced, and it also creates commonness, so when you swim to my blog, you will know that each day is a scheduled subject matter and which subject I'll be chatting about.

How A Mermaid Writes And Illustrates A Storybook

My dear friends, 

Well, I've done it! You may have noticed that in a bid to become the world's most popular blog consisting of the words Victorian and mermaid, I managed to go through my posts and rename them- at nausea! I'm well aware, it may seem like a bit much. However, I am always, a bit much, and you know this about me already.

The Art Of Making Staffordshire Cottage Shipshape

My dear friends, 

I have my tea a bit early. I wanted to gather my thoughts, so I have put on some Claude Debussy to angle my disposition of writing this evening. The day has been quite scorching, and conditions are lacking in adornment; however, the sand cranes have been flying overhead cackling. I love to hear them and my ol' beloved seagulls. I cherish the sounds of seagulls along the ocean waves as they kiss the stoned fairy moss rocks. 

A Victorian Author Reading At Whistle Stop Gardens And Tea Room

I promised an oath that I would show you photographs of my mermaid author reading at the tea room.

I have had a few more; however, I was so caught up in the twirling tizzies I forgot to take pictures.

The Art Of Allowing, Downton Abbey And Delightful News

Hello dear friends,

Put the kettle on and let's have some tea. My choice this morning is English black tea.

I refer to you as my dear friends, do you know why? I do it for two reasons. The first is that those of you that swim to my blog, are true indeed like my dear friends in reality. I know we are spread out among this great expansive world, but we can each come together through writing. Isn't that the truest nature of friendship? I like that in the old-fashioned days, women would wait each day for a post from their friends. The butler would serve the letters on a silver tray, such as in Downton Abbey. I believe writing brings women together. Another reason for calling you dear friends is because I try to emulate Beatrix Potter.  I absolutely adore that she called persons dear to her "dear friends." I feel a kindred connection to her in many ways.



  I am going to give a break down of the movie when it hits theatres in 2019, so that shall be delightful indeed.

Courtesy of UK archives. Jemima Puddleduck outside of Hilltop.

Courtesy of UK archives. Hilltop in England where Beatrix Potter lived.

Do you have someone that you feel a kindred nature towards? I'd love to hear who yours is.

I wanted to tell you the great news! I heard from the City of Carmel yesterday and they are reviewing my proposal for the Flander's Mansion curatorship. I was so tickled, that I could not keep it from you. It will be months from now until I hear anything else about it. No matter the outcome, I am so happy regardless. I have learned that in the manifesting of anything in life, it's the joy along the journey that helps us in facilitating our dreams and desires. I believe too often we as humans have become so comfortable with believing that in life in order to be happy we must first have the "thing" and then we will be happy. It's the believing and then seeing, instead of the other way around.

Flanders Mansion in Spring.

Flanders Mansion in the evening.

I know my dream of living in Carmel will come true at the perfect appointed time. And whether that is living at Flanders Mansion or another little cottage in the city, I feel confident. I believe so strongly in the Law of Attraction. I think it's oftentimes unfortunate when people go for years and not allow a dream to come true in their life, that they mistakenly believe that they aren't worthy of their desire. This isn't true at all. The only reason someone doesn't manifest their desire is that after they first launch an idea/desire they go to work contradicting it. I know before I began practising the Law of Attraction, I was notorious at doing this. It's because I didn't understand how universal laws worked. I would become tied up in believing that I wasn't worthy of the things I desired. I think that is common among many people especially if having grown up in a religious home, such as I. It can become quite confusing after being raised with contradicting beliefs. I grew up Pentecostal Church of God until I was 17 and then I converted to a Mormon. When I left my marriage in 2015 i stopped practising religionall together.

To be a tad confident about feeling special in life is a very good thing indeed. I do hope you feel as prized a person too, meaning you too shall have all of your dreams come true if you so believe. To believe before we have tangibly seen the proof is a true testament to faith as Christian/religious folks call it.

I spent yesterday rearranging furniture and packing up some things that I feel I've outgrown, such as some pictures on the walls, some old craft items and modern clothing. Remember I spoke to you about clearing out and disembowelling things such as clothes that you don't like wearing or haven't worn in sometime? I was holding onto some shoes that I thought I may wear again, but I averaged the time out and I haven't worn them for over four years. I am therefore donating them to charity. Do you begin feeling that way towards the end of each year as well? I think I am constantly releasing things. I learned to easily release things as I would move so much in my past that to keep every little item would have been quite burdensome.

I found these Victorian granny boots at an antique shop. Even though they were a bit tough getting on, they fit perfectly which is quite rare.

I began working on our little guest bathroom over the weekend. Jeffrey is disembowelling the sink this weekend. I'm going to then add a pedestal sink my dear friend gave to me when I moved in with my parents. The only thing I'll need to purchase is a faucet. I found one on Amazon for $60.00. It has a Victorian flair to it.

My mother and I went looking at old Victorian homes in my neighbourhood. I asked her to snap a photo. 

I decorated my treasure room to coordinate with The Tale of MerryMaid Scarlette Rose. Did you notice the rose colours and the cork garland?

I wanted to leave you to begin your day off on the correct foot with another quote. I do love quotes. They have always inspired me along my life's journey and I hope they too inspire you, sweet friends.

I shall write again soon.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

The Artistic Approach Of An Author And Illustrator {Beatrix Potter Style}

My dear friends, 

Put the kettle on and let us have a little visit. I'm having some breakfast English tea.

I have been taking many photographs around the garden of myself and the chickens so that I have a bit of a reference point if needs be while I'm writing The Tale of Henny Penny Goody Two~Shoes. In the Beatrix Potter Society letter this morning, there was a bit of controversy over some of her writings. Someone wrote that they had found in Beatrix Potter's books that she had shot a red-tailed squirrel so that she might be able to draw more accurately a squirrel for her storybook "Squirrel Nutkin." I believe it was a misinterpretation and misread. 

I know there have been several times I've read that Tasha Tudor and Beatrix Potter were known to capture little animals and keep them for some time so that they might draw them in their most fundamental nature. I suppose there is no way of complete assurance in knowing whether or not Tasha Tudor or Beatrix Potter actually did kill little animals for their artwork accuracy, but I genuinely doubt it. Capture them, indeed, but to harm them... I think not. 

There are many times that when Beatrix decided she wanted to draw little paintings for her books she actually would go back to the place and ask to borrow certain items so that she might create a perfect depiction. One such time was when she went to friends and asked to borrow the dollhouse in the story The Two Bad Mice. She never had children, I wonder if she had ever desired to have children. I have often wondered about that.

My dear friend Suzanne sent me this Tasha Tudor Garden book, and I was so touched that I cried. Suzanne is such a kind soul. She lives in New England and is close friends with Tasha's actual children. She has the group on Facebook called Take Peace. It's a group created to preserve and keep Tasha's legacy alive. I have the most fun, and it's such a delightful group of women. I think I spoke to you about it once before. I wish there was something like that for Beatrix too.

The Cosmopolitan magazine in the UK has predicted that the most popular little girls baby name in 2019 will be Beatrix. I think Beatrix is an adorable name. I shall continue to dream that my little storybook The Tale of MerryMaid Scarlette Rose will be such as Peter Rabbit, perhaps when I have left this earth. I still have so many stories to write. I should hope I'll have enough time to write them all.

I am always so inspired by my dear friend's daughter, so I was prompted to paint her with her rabbit Oliver. He's the same breed as my Oliver, A Jersey Whooly, I think.

 I made some roasted potatoes with rosemary from the garden this weekend. I can never get enough of roasted potatoes baked in the oven, can you? Vegetables are such hearty food and quite filling.

I've read this book about a dozen times already. It has quite exciting tidbits about Beatrix. I find that this book gives way to how very much she had such a witty and profound personality. I was surprised to learn of how very much she was into politics and that she wasn't always so pleased with how women were treated in comparison to men. I say well said, Beatrix. I feel quite the same. Did you know her book The Tale of Peter Rabbit was turned down from being published six times? She decided to post it herself. At that time in history, she put forth the money to have a certain quantity of books printed. I may be off, but I think she had over 550 printed. If you know the accurate number, please do tell, but I think I am correct in that number. 

This is my first son Carter. Remember in previous entries I spoke about how much I loved playing the Beatrix Potter stories on the television. His pacifier holder was Beatrix Potter themed. I made dozens of the short jumper that he's wearing, as it was the perfect clothing for a child learning to walk. I never wanted to deal with pants and a shirt separately as the shirt would always come untucked, and the pants would slide down, so this way, he was ever put together. I handed them down to my next two boys, so much good use was put to them. I had some that I monogrammed as well. Notice the sign above his head? I had made that from some sticks I found, "Rabbits Garden."I was full well into everything Beatrix, even at the age of 20.

 Just in time and favour of Tasha, I made some homemade beeswax candles. I poured the wax into some mason jars and added a bit of spruce essential oil.

Over the weekend, I also made some homemade broccoli cheese soup. It was delicious. I gobbled it up, and that's saying a bit much about how superb it was because I usually do not much care for broccoli. It was a little nippy this weekend in Florida, so I thought what better time to have a bread bowl and some soup.

Oh, I wanted to update you on the little visit that Jeffrey and I went on Saturday. Remember I said we were going to go see a small cottage in the country town? We went to look at it, and there was an older gentleman pressure washing the cottage. It turns out it's a rental property and would never be up for sale. I'm still dreaming of Carmel, so my feelings weren't much hurt in the learning of the little cottage. I didn't much care for the placement of it, nor the idea that it had no surrounding woods.

Jeffrey and I did some Christmas gift shopping, and that was quite delightful. Today I am getting estimates for a new air-conditioner system. Jeffrey insists, and i right agree with him that the house value will go up when it's time to sell, beings it will have a new unit installed.

What did your weekend consist of?

Well, I shall be off for now. I shall write again soon.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

The Art Of Caring For A Cottage Bunny

My dear friends,

I wanted to share an updated version of how I care for Oliver and bits about what's been plaguing my mind over the last few weeks. I have been choosing to share most of what is genuinely in my thoughts here on my blog because I tend to be such a long-winded church lady. I'll link the older post about Oliver here so you can read his full story. I share Oliver's story and how he became my cottage bunny.

December Welcoming

My dear friends,

I'm pouring some tea, what kind is your favourite? I tried some jasmine petal loose leaf last week and it was awful. It was so bitter. Have you ever tried Jasmine petal tea before?

Yesterday, I discovered my dear chicken May {Plymouth Rock} had escaped from the back garden. She gave me such a fright. We had a rough storm a fortnight ago and some of our wood fencings were knocked down.

I was busy repairing fencing all day. I then came in and wrote for a few hours and then painted our Christmas/ Yuletide holiday card. Do you like it? It seems a bit sad that so many families do not seem to distribute holiday cards at the present. Do you send holiday cards? I believe one of the reasons for this is because of expense. The world is ever so fast paced and we have such an abundance of social media. I believe people just assume you can just type in someone's name and find out what shenanigans they've been currently about.

Christmas cards have been a tradition of mine since I was a newly married woman. I remember my first set was from a thrift store that was collected when I began my trousseau at 14.  They were vintage ones that someone had most likely stuffed in an attic.

I bought them and calligraphed my name on them. I have always enjoyed sending them out. Christmas Cards began back in the 1800s and they used to have the children decorate papers and write little messages inside. Queen Victoria had her children make some and hand deliver them to folks. I find that so endearing. In my next few posts, I'm going to share with you some more of the traditions that I had when my children were young. I have decided to keep the traditions steadfast even though I don't have little ones afoot.

I wanted to paint a little different style this year and I am beginning to add more details to my paintings, which at times can prove to be a bit difficult. I chose to create a Celtic border and use some gold leafing. I was preparing my art paper, looked down only to notice the border on the Arches paper cover had this similar border. I hid the little animals inside the border and I couldn't love it more.

I am obviously a self-taught artist, and I am often reminded that is a fondest approach to my art. Beatrix Potter once said in her diary, that she looked forward to being alone with her drawing so that she wasn't influenced by a teacher. Her creativity would have been worn off if she had a teacher. I believe it's most important to approach my art in likemindedness. 

I was conversing with my dear BG {Beloved Gardener} this morning, informing him of the demise of our rose garden wattle fence. I had to disembowel it, as the chicken ladies utterly destroyed it. If you look closely at this full image of Tasha's wattle fence you can see hers was too falling apart. 

Courtesy of Pinterest
I never noticed before that Tasha Tudor had one very similar to mine and the same height too. 

I was so saddened it had to go. The chicken ladies loved to perch upon it. I must remake a new one come spring time. Jeffrey said he had some massive red rose bushes that he's been meaning to bring home to me. I imposingly said, " oh, Might those be a wonderful Christmas gift to add to my rose garden." To which he implied, I shall bring them home today, plant them this weekend, nurture them and you should have blooms by Christmas. Now that is to be a sensational view. I have always wanted English hedges and a rose garden. 

 I gathered some pinecones and some oranges from the garden and then made some styled fruits with whole cloves for our little table in the kitchen. I also air dried oranges to create a fruit garland.

I painted a few paintings. This one is "Departure" Its for sale in my Etsy shop for $20.

"Even Mermaids Have Tea At High Noon." For sale in my Etsy shop $20.

It doesn't seem quite the season, but Florida has such delightful weather all year round that I planted a few heirloom tomatoes last week.

A little decoration at the cottage for Christmas. 

 A lovely little storybook would be a delightful stocking stuffer for gift giving. I have even sent off several that are giving them for baby and birthday gifts. Links for Amazon and my Etsy shop are in my sidebar.

Lovely Holiday Favourites For 2018

 My dear friends,
I wanted to share a few of mine along with my Beloved Gardeners favourites for this 2018 holiday season. I can't begin to tell you how often that I am asked about where I found a particular item that I'm wearing, what oil I've got on, or where I found this or that. So for pure delight, I thought I'd share a few things this year that I am especially fond of.

 1. Tasha Tudor Scarf~ I am often asked about where I collected my scarf. I get mine from Tasha Tudor and Family website and wear mine most days. Tasha Tudor Scarf

 2. I am a wellness advocate for dōTerra and have been since the company began. I used to struggle with severe depression, but since I began using Balance, I have been off all depression medications. If you are interested in trying a sample, send me a message and I'd be happy to send you a sample of balance. The only requirement is to pay for shipping. If you like it or want me to prepare you a special curated blend according to your needs I'd love to serve you.

 3. For the price, Barefoot Pink Moscato is my go-to wine. I add a smidge of lemon Lacroix to top off a glass and It's wonderful at the end of a workday. You can find barefoot at Walmart or any local grocery market.

 4. Bath and Body Works Fresh Balsam candle. I have found that it's pertinent to get your holiday candles early. I usually grab my holiday ones around Thanksgiving, if not they will be all sold out. The Bath and Body Works candles smell the most fragrant.

4. If you follow me on Youtube, you know I have been buying Zipp Fizz for about ten years. They give me all the fortified minerals I need and a kick of natural energy without the extreme highs and lows.

5. My little storybook, The Tale Of MerryMaid Scarlette Rose. I think that if you have a child or grandchild that loves mermaids and Beatrix Potter storybooks, they will love my book.

 6. Jeffrey swears by these Corona BP 6250 clippers. He likes the ones that have the softly curved handles and are a terrific choice for a lower end priced clipper.

 7. There are some evenings that while Jeffrey is cooking us supper or grilling out, he will enjoy a nice glass of Cabernet Sauvignon from Sutter Home. It has about 13% alcohol. It's his favourite.

 8. Jeffreys favourite candle cent. It's masculine, and I think it's a perfect smell too. You feel like your sitting in front of a roaring fire.

Whats some of your favourites?