The Art of Appreciating Pain

"Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault." ~Louisa May Alcott 

The clothesline was a gift from my littlest brother. No longer did my heart desire things that weren't important. Instead, I desired something to hold to, which denoted something. The small endeavour of a clothesline meant I was creating my dream, even if it was as tiny and seemingly insignificant as a silly ole place to dry clothes. When Sawyer passed and Jeffrey Shawn and I had to sell our little 1970's cottage in Tampa, Florida, everything was falling apart right before my very eyes. Honestly, I wept on the kitchen tile floor, pleading for the pain to release itself. I felt the weight of the world upon my shoulders. My son was brutally murdered, Jeffrey was fired from his job of 32 years, our only little chariot (vehicle) ceased to function, and then Jeffrey was hospitalised, nearly dying from heart failure.

Isn't that what has to happen, though? Everything has to fall apart to be made new again. So often, we spend our lives ignoring signs, pretending life is jolly when it's not. Why do we do that? It was a belief I created when I was a little girl; it was a trait I allowed to grow into an entirely made-up version of small insecurities along the way. I always felt less than, but if I could paint a perfect picture for others, it staved off the pain of rejection. If only they knew the real me, I would think to myself.

As difficult as things were then, I was handed a beautiful gift. If I had never known such pain and adversity, I could never have learned how to find my joy. I would have forgone what joy fills my soul up every day now. I would have lost out on the wonder and beauty of knowing deeply I am a wonderfully courageous person.

This Thursday, as you gather your wee little cherubs; and they tug on your apron strings while you cook yummy turkey and bake pies; remember how beautiful life is, cherish those moments and cling to them, for there will come a day you hold to those memories, for they are the only thing we have when the close of our days of life end.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

The Victorian Prairie Bonnet And The Value Of Rest

I'm still convalescing. {Hey, even if I weren't on the mend I still spend a copious amount of time in bed.} I love my sleeping room, and I make no apologies for it. Do you like to sleep or lay in bed, to rest and relax? You can ask my mum I've loved sleep since birth. {And yes, if you're curious as to why I write like I'm British it's because I've spent these last two months immersed in my pronunciation course. And my teacher admonishes me to consistently write and speak British English which will create an exceptional accent.}

During A Pandemic Of Any KInd, A Survival Safety Net Is Essential

I’m not going to say it's not difficult for many, many folks. Look, I’m not the one to judge how another is handling lockdown or this pandemic. But in comparison to having your child murdered, well, yeah, an epidemic isn’t much of a catastrophic event from my perspective. And no, I’m not going to refrain from saying I feel this way, neither. I'm bullish that way. Whereas, I read daily of bloggers apologising profusely about their feelings on the virus and where some are continually complaining about dumb shit. Yes, I will be the one to say it. DUMB SHIT.  The complaining I cannot tolerate, but that's just me. I refuse to complain, for no other reason than It sounds whiney and victim-like, and those two things I am not! But that's just me. I've already told you that I have a lack of empathy nowadays, and {that's my own set of issues, not anyone else's... so yeah, let's get on.}

Why Having A Mouth Like A Sailor Doesn't Make You A Bad Person {And What Profanity Really Means According To Me}

My dear friends, 

I must confess something. I have a mouth like a sailor! For many of you that read my blog, and have also watched my youtube videos, you already know this.

My momma, a dear friend and me were chatting about this just yesterday. My friend said that she appreciated me because I'm authentic. Now, some folks have a problem with me when I use profanity. It's, for the most part, considered a terrible thing. Especially since I am a very spiritual person. That didn't always transition over well when I was considered a 'Christian.' I think many women struggle with what other folks think of them if they happen to be a very spiritual or religious person, and they still throw out a few curse words here and there. Like, somehow, if you use a dirty word, you are not a wholesome woman. I absolutely disagree. 

If the truth is known, I think most folks that were raised in a Christian/religious environment were taught not to use profanity. So, since I have had an issue with others judging me in the past, I thought I'd dive into what it really means when someone uses cursing in their vocabulary. 

I haven't always used profanity, but now that I do, that doesn't make me a 'bad' person. I had someone say to me a few years ago that because I have a non-profit organisation for young girls, that I should probably not curse and that's not setting a good example. Well, you can imagine what I said to them. Errr... I am a beautiful, spiritual woman, and I also happen to use profanity at times. That statement, as you can imagine, came from women that are Christian ladies. I remind folks that I know I'm the founder of a non-profit; however, I also was raised with class and dignity. That means that I have etiquette and manners; I'm a southern woman, after all.

IT MAKES OTHERS UNCOMFORTABLE

I'm no longer into the idea that for someone to remain comfortable, I must change and alter myself to make another person feel good. The situation with most people is that they swim around this earth wanting other folks to change to accommodate and ease their feelings of comfort or discomfort; to turn a condition outside of themselves. That's what is really funny to me when in the same breath they say I'm selfish if I don't change. Isn't that what selfishness is? They are the ones being selfish because they want me to change for them. I've always found that hilarious, and rightly so becasue most folks don't even comprehend what I just stated.

I use to hide who I really was as a person, and cursing was one thing I tried not to do, mostly as I had young children at home and truthfully because I thought that works equalled a way to get to heaven. I realised after practising the law of attraction that I would much rather my children see me for who I really am than to see me inauthentic. When you don't express the most authentic nature of yourself, it eventually leaves you with massive resentment. Our resentment grows, ultimately, which creates disease, health issues, cancer and death. That, to me, is a travesty.

I am so appreciative of those experiences because what it has taught me is that when I share my life with you, you know without a doubt I am honest with you. I am not going to feed you some fluffy stories in hopes you'll hang around and continue reading my blog. I am forward in what I say, and honestly, I think more women should be that way. Now, maybe to get your point across you don't feel the need to use profanity, and that is perfectly fine. I love you for you, no matter what and with the same breath, I say that I expect you to love me, no matter what, too. 

Most affably yours til my next swim, raquelxxx 

My Blog Is Evolving {And My MerryMaid Scarlette Rose Petal Tea Scones Receipt}

Good morning dear friends,

I am having a cup of Tetley. I have a few things I should like to share with you.

Firstly, as I have spent the weekend preparing to take my business to the next level, I wanted to explain what my intentions are for my blog. I am a steadfast organised individual with all aspects of my life; mostly contributing to having four children, and it seems an essential characteristic to possess if one is to be a quite accomplished multi-tasker.

After I created my new blog in 2017 and as a practice of living the law of attraction, I have allowed my blog to evolve naturally. I follow the inspired moments, and it's been such a lovely evolution of expansion. I absolutely love my blog! I know each aspect has naturally come to be at just the perfect time. And now this next expansion is me creating a more regular schedule for blog content. I'm building something, dear friends. A few months ago, I changed the categories to fit the dimensions of each endowment. So I feel the next logical step would be to create a post for each weekday to represent each endowment. This way, it keeps things balanced, and it also creates commonness, so when you swim to my blog, you will know that each day is a scheduled subject matter and which subject I'll be chatting about.

The 5 Things All Blogs Should Possess {According To A Landlocked Mermaid}

My dear friends,

Pour some tea, and won't you bring your tea kettle? Mine was broken and had to be thrown into the rubbage bin.

As many of you know by now, if you're avid readers of my blog, you know that I've been a blogger for well over 10 years. I wasn't always as serious about my blogging as I am now, and from the archive visual, it appears to be new. After my divorce, unfortunately, I had to start all over from scratch. Which meant, I absolutely cried on the kitchen floor for two weeks because I had lost 10 years of blog journaling. Ten years! I was devastated. After getting rip-roaring drunk {line from "The Notebook"} for two nights, I collected myself and went to work determined to learn how to create a new blog. With the help of a google search bar and many YouTube videos, I learned it all myself. Needless to say, I'm very proud of my accomplishments. If nothing else, I have learned to never take defeat lying down, nor ever give up.