Connecting The Dots

"One cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So, you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something—your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down and has made all the difference in my life." ~Steve Jobs

I reviewed my royalty sales records at the weekend and realised I had worked as an official author and illustrator for six years.

Today, I've decided to focus on my books and my blog writing with intense clarity. I have been doing well in remaining consistent, but I realise my passion and consistency have not been up to par, and I should hone my craft more than ever. I've spent so many years wanting to have a beautiful home, my "Cottage of Belonging," to feel like I can write and do my best work, not realising I AM doing my best work now. I am very proud of myself regardless of what others would ever say. I am a New York Times best-selling author because I decided that several years ago. Let them call us delusional, for it's the delusional ones who change the world. Hell or high water, my spirit is determined. I have beat the odds; no more looking to the future of "then I'll be happy." I am resetting myself to remain firmly focused and aligned. My greatest passion and most profound love is my writing. It is how I make sense of the world. 

Most importantly, i must remain focused on my writing at all costs. Until a few days ago, the excuse was that because I am a Pisces constantly all over the place, that was acceptable, and I couldn't change it, but that is a silly ol' belief. I am changing that belief as it serves me not an ounce of value. Furthermore, many successful folks are Pisces. That's not to say it has ever been a bad thing. Still, after several days of hypnosis, I think my subconscious mind is guiding me to my most authentic self. At the heart of who I am, yes, an artist and many other things, but a writer is who I am at my core. My writing has never betrayed me. Letters and words have literally saved my life. Quite honestly, when Sawyer died, the first thing I did was write a little storybook to heal my heart. That book then took four years to release into the world because as beautiful as it was to write, I couldn't bring myself to illustrate it. To illustrate, I had to reread my manuscript, and the words hurt me deeply. The little scenarios in the book were actual events that occurred in life. I had to take a tragedy and turn it into a triumph of never-ending happiness. Therefore, the manuscript went into a cupboard for years until I could come to terms with the death. In addition, the book represented my child, so in essence, i felt as long as i held onto that book, i was keeping my boy with me, and no one could take him from me, but once I let go, I was in my heart letting him go. Dear friend, I could not do it straight away. It tore my heart out, so I sat with those feelings and allowed myself permission to feel the pain. I had to allow myself to grow, walk through all the steps, and know it was all okay.

My mum (well-intentioned and wanting to help) said to me, "You just need to understand that he's in a better place and that I needed to stop using the "F" word so much." Don't ever tell a mother that. That was the day I let Hell's fury on her because no one has the right to say to a mother how to heal the death of their child. I know my mum meant well, so mum, if you’re reading this, you know i adore you.

If I want to angrily scream at the top of my lungs or use profanities, then that is what a mother gets to do. Do not ever think one must be appropriate. If I am not hurting anyone, I can grieve how I choose, and I'll not stand for any of that nonsense on stilts from folks who haven't a clue of such pain. 

If I have to write for decades undiscovered, that is what I'll do; although, I do not believe that will happen. I have a mission and a life purpose. My work is bigger than me, and I am built for this. 

Do you know a woman said to me in an email once when I released Sawyer's book "The Tale of Sawyer Lamb" last year on his birthday, and I quote, "Who cares you wrote a stupid children's book? Anyone can write a dumb children's book? It doesn't take much to string a sentence or two together. You're not special or smart."

So when anyone wonders about the things done to me by others and Sawyer's father specifically (because he should've been a person there for me as i am the mother of his children) when my boy passed, you will understand after reading my book, "The Little Mermaid's Transformational Tale why i struggled so deeply." I have consistently beat the odds. After spending decades, my sanity tested, endeavouring to drive me to madness, I almost took my own life. No, and that wasn't even enough; I then endured heinous things behind the scenes to make me appear crazy to those who knew me. This kind of tactic from a narcissist is what I am also writing in my book. This kind of abuse must be brought to the open, because perhaps if i had known what was happening it wouldn't have taken me almost three decades to leave a marriage. The viper-tongued person never bargained for my resilience, nor that I would expose him, which is me using my voice for the many women who can't or, should I say, feel they can't. At least not right now, but i believe, given the permission, more women will come forward. 

 I love my work and myself; and im not going to feel bad in saying that. The only way to do great work is to love what I do. I will write for myself and for you. 

Have a happy day, my friends.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Razz

A Supernumerary Of Projects

My Shiny New Blog Design Plans, Ye Olde YouTube News, Beatrix Potter and Me, A New Little Book; The Tale of Sybrena Ewe And Louis Vuitton Agendas 

My oh my dear mermaid hearts, 

If you've been on ye olde blog as of late, you've seen the mischievous makings of my attempts to hire a website designer to add Adsense to my blog. It failed miserably (no offence to the dear lass who did the work as she did what she promised); however, I am hopeful and have plans to create a whole new blog. However, I will continue to put posts on this template, and all of my other posts are still here, just as before. I plan to hire someone to do the coding, but I'll do the rest, such as the design using my old-timey paintings to make the blog look like an old-fashioned Victorian newspaper with mermaids galore. I purchased some fonts that are stunning that I'll use as well. Below is my inspiration for what I am striving for, obviously, with my sketches, designs, header, and drop-downs. I will paint and create the entirety of it from the ground up because if there's something I learned many years ago, do most things yourself; that way, you know you'll have it the way you like it. I love my old template, but there was a problem with that template as my reading audience grew. I didn't have a drop-down with the different pages, which was a constant issue. This lack of option posed a matter when folks would search on ye olde blog for a post and could never go directly and find my Amazon book links or items for shopping in my little store. Remember, there's nothing that a determined woman can't execute. I do believe it is perfectly fine to ask for help, but try to do most things for yourself; it makes for an independent and strong woman. Of course, take this with a pinch of salt my dears when I am speaking of arduous tasks that a broad-shouldered, handsome man can do much better always allow them to show their strength. If I never prune a Bougenvilla, dig a hole for a large oak tree or cut tile, I will forever be a well-chuffed lass. I have nothing to prove, so let's not get it twisted, my fruit, I'm not drinking seawater. 

My plate is full and tight as dicks hat band, and I am trying to keep it all in hand; however, if I am being transparent here, I'm not happy bag ragdoll Annie all of the time. 

I'm sketching every time I have a moment. I have finally settled into beginning the Louis Vuitton Agenda planner kits. They will be PDF printables with my cheery planner pages. They will be comparable to the A4, and larger agenda (Louis Vuitton) size but mainly, you will be able to adjust a hole punch (i use this one for my Louis Vuitton agenda) to make it fit your agenda, planner or Franklin Covey. I do understand not everyone has gone off and are mad (like me) who spends 680-1200 dollars on a Louis Vuitton Agenda. My LV collection is, for me, considered a worthwhile investment, so I have no qualms about spending that kind of money. A woman's planner, calendar, handbag, wallet, makeup pouch, etc., is something a woman always has to have. To spend a fraction every few years on a no-name bag or less expensive brand is purely a waste to me. My darlings that's my opinion, on the matter. To invest in quality items is very English, and my folks taught my siblings and me to always choose quality over quantity every time. 

It has been frigid in the cottage lately, so I've pulled out my trusty Victorian English water bottle. I collected mine from a sweet little Etsy shoppe from England. 

I thought I would write a little about The Tale of Sawyer Lamb, and why it took me over three years to self-publish it, although I wrote the book in less than four hours and quite literally shortly after Sawyer passed. The illustrations came later.

I would venture to guess what Beatrix Potter felt when writing her books before she had her very own home at Hilltop. I had to use different locations and homes from my actual childhood and from my imagination because I am not in my forever home as of yet. I have the vision for it, and that is where it lies until the actuality of the demonstrated measure of manifestation. 

I wrote the book (The Tale of Sawyer Lamb); upon the onset of when Sawyer passed. I knew in my soul (and those videos remain on my YouTube from back then) that I had to find a way for his death not to be in vain. For whatever reason, I recorded myself in a YouTube video quite shortly after I received the call. I also wanted to write a little children's book so that it may help others teach their children about death and write it in a lovely way which doesn't entail violence. I think there is a bit of apprehension in folks before buying the storybook, and I discovered this when I was a vendor of Heritage Days back in December when I sold my books, oils, paintings, etc. I say this because when I made mention of the book, the folks demonstrated physical uneasiness. I assured them oh no, it's a lovely book about my son's passing, and it's not a ferocious tale, but in fact, it's rather charming. If you have ever read Beatrix Potter's books, most specifically The Tale of Jemima Puddle-Duck, think of when the dogs came to the rescue of Jemima and took care of the whiskered-tailed gentleman.

 

When something so profoundly horrific happens to a person (as I'm sure you've seen and heard many times), the parent or survivors want to make a difference. It is our way of helping to facilitate our healing. It gives us purpose and a way to create a difference in the world. I want the world to remember my boy Sawyer. I have devoted my remaining years to helping mothers, women and children. It makes me so happy and tickled beyond measure to create a life of fairytale magic, writing books and painting. I am also fulfilling my little girl's dreams. 

As of late, as you know, I am getting sheep, and I spent last year on Sawyer's book all about sheep, so the next manuscript that I have been writing is called "The Tale of Sybrena Ewe" and is strongly calling my name, and so I write. It's been in my queue for a while now, but as of late, it's taking precedence in my mind. I know when this happens, it is the great creator intuitively guiding me. I don't always understand the reason, but I heed the call. I spoke with Bette from Stone Arches Bed and Breakfast to give her the lovely news that I am using her little cottage as Lucinda's home in the book. The cottage's name is Fernwood Thistletop. Isn't that name sweet and utterly charming? 

Most Affably, yours til my next swim, Razzy

A Victorian 1885 October At Sea

Hello, dear friends, 

Good morning from lovely beautiful, and sunny Florida. Here's a sweet photo of my beach. There's a quiet little bench cradled between two stilt homes, and if one is mannerly and respectful, the homeowners will allow the resting upon to appreciate the waving sounds of bliss. The beach has always been a tonic for this ole bygone Weeki Wachee Springs mermaid. I love to beach comb also. I have collected shells for nearly all of my life. If you ever purchased one of my paintings, you'll remember I slipped a small shell wrapped up in a little brown painter's paper bundle. 

In 2015 when I ran away (back home) for a respite, I would drive my mum's little chariot and sit on the bench in the picture above. I had a broken heart, yet not shattered because I had a forlorn temperament for how love went wrong. My story isn't like many love romance stories. Actually, I was happiest I had broken out; if you want the truth. I was severe on the sex and finished with men. I was quietly tending to matters as I had plenty to occupy myself when unexpectedly, I found myself (twin flame) attracted to Jeffrey Shawn. But then again, I am getting ahead of myself. I'm writing a book all about it. I know I've written oodles here on ye olde blog, however it'll be nice to have it in chronological form. It is a love story (about my dearly beloved Jeffrey), a life story and a self-development/ mindset book. It's so many things all wrapped into one. You may have heard me speak about it from the title The Little Mermaid's Transformational Tale.

 

I plan to write and paint it, as Susan Branch did for her book The Fairy Tale Girl, yet with my snarling slice of mermaid twist. 

It may sound to some as though it's a sad tale; however, that is life, and for a book to be good and best, I think It's vital to obtain all the nitty gritty bits and bobs, don't you agree? I have no regrets about how my story has turned out thus far; it's actually a lovely story if you were to ask me. My book will most assuredly explain in the most delightful and hopeful way how a person can turn something terrible into something lovely. As young girls in love, we are starry-eyed at the start, especially in those first relationships. We're entirely naive. An exceptional illustration of naivety is Keira Knightly, starring in the movie The Duchess (2008).

Let us not fret any longer and get on with the pleasurable portions of this post by telling you what I have been up to as of late—well, mostly sketching and dreaming about all the enjoyable days of splashing in paint. I am pleased to write and paint books for your dear hearts. I've been thinking about you and where to have book signings, what to do to make them unique, and how much I can't wait to meet you all, that have supported me so lovingly. The Tale of Sawyer Lamb and The Tale of the Christmas Bunnies comes out next month (November 25, 2022), and I want to make it spectacular. I want to take questions, as when I would have little author tea parties. The children would have time to ask questions after I read my story to them. The children were so fascinated and always wanted to know all manner of details about being a real-life (Weeki Wachee Springs) mermaid. After they wrote down questions, I put them in a message bottle. I also want to order some delightful fancy candy from England as giveaways to go with Sawyers's book, chocolate and lemon drops in little sack bundles, precisely as in the story.

What else have I been up to as of late? A little nesting, cleaning, organising and purging olde items such as clothing and things that are no longer serving the new version of me, playing in the garden, sketching ways to add onto the cottage, plotting the rose garden, drinking loads of tea and filling vases up with fresh cut flowers. Oh, and one of the most fun things Jeffrey and I love is to work in the garden together. This weekend we will be planting nine boxwood (in addition to the ones we've already added and the two topiaries) and about nine Viburnum (variety is suspensum) all along to cover the air conditioner on the side of my parent's home. I'll post some pictures when they're all planted. 

I've been slowly transitioning my photos to a sepia tone or black and white on Instagram. It creates a more authentic aesthetic that I'm setting in motion with my business branding. I tend to love it; however, for those who adore colour, I also add colour photos to be admired when you slide the images. 

As always, I am Taking Joy and remaining on the sunny side of life. Here are a few pretty pictures of the peer near our home when Jeffrey and I went for a walk along the beach. 

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

February's Fair Maids

Good morning dear friends,

Rabbit Rabbit! February, my birth month and the month of love.

I had such a lovely day yesterday. My (soon to be) sister in law came to visit Scarlette Rose Cottage. It was my first visit; we had an entire pot of earl grey tea and filled our gills with biscuits. It's so lovely to have friends. I especially love and relate to Annie because she's a Pisces like me. I'm among mermaidens, my landlocked kind. Smile. I'm sure you understand I am invariably thinking about incorporating mermaids into my brand at every turn. Have I never actually told you outright why I named the little cottage Scarlette Rose? Sometimes I'm not sure what I write, as I'm always yapping at the jaw about something or nother and can't remember from one moment to the next what I've written and what I thought I wrote. Ya, know, because I self talk all day and think I've had conversations with folks when in fact, no, it was all in my waterlogged head. This landlocked life is a new sensation—wink wink. The point is, (mercy lawd, get to it dear sweet Raquel) Scarlette Rose is what I named the little storage building at my folks. I've been slowly turning it into an 1850's Victorian cottage after the mermaid character in my storybook, The Tale of Merrymaid Scarlette Rose. If you recall, when Jeffrey Shawn and i moved in temporarily with my folks, Sawyer had just died. In a bid to help me heal and have something to keep me distracted, my dad allowed me to create something lovely from his storage building. He called it his Elvis room and It hadn't been used in years.

I jotted down several storybook ideas into my diary about adoption.  

Yesterday, I was thinking about what to write about because I have so many blog titles in my draft folder, but sometimes I write an entire post and then don't feel like posting any of them when it comes down to it. Then I thought, well, I'm just going to keep this blog as random as can be. It's just how my noggin works, and it's kept me alive all this time, so why change it. So one day, I'll write about how my grandmother's cornbread got the name "dog bread", which will be in the back of Sawyers book The Tale of Sawyer Lamb and the next day I might talk about mindset work. I have no idea what I'm going to post from day to day. I don't like to plan because I think I should be myself, and that means I want my blog to make as little sense as humanly possible. Hehe... I don't get out much, can you tell?

I think I've realised I must be myself. Will I still use flowery, lovely words, yes? Will I then switch it up dramatically? Also yes. I love where my life is today. I will never stop speaking with a British accent, but I'm also southern to the core, so I just might as well accept it. I figured out one-day last week that if I just keep writing and writing eventually, something will catch on. I'm an optimistic fool that way.

Last night I tried to give The Gilded Age another go, and no, just no. The shame of it all. I have no words. Well, actually, I have a lot of words for it, but let's leave it for another day because I'm still reeling.

I heard The New York Times title it "Dime Store Downton", and I agree. But, let's move on before I cry.

I didn't sketch yesterday because I have been stuck on a particular page and how I wanted it to look, so I tend to swim away until I can come back to it and see the vision with clear eyes. It's been a little distressing because I am on a short deadline. I've done it to myself. I want to hit the mark but not at the cost of making my work rubbish. Pray for me.

Today I'm going to meet a sweet new friend at the pub. She recently moved to my hometown, and I'm very excited. I think shell love being a part of Stillwater, The Petticoat Philosophy. Oh, how exciting; let's see if I can keep from screwing this friendship up. Hehe... no, but seriously I know I've found new beliefs about friendship, so I think we will be forever friends. The End.

I love you, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

Mrs Carter's Opportunities Come Calling And Saucy Flirts

Good day, dear friends,

Are you having a happy and fulfilled day thus far? I made a small pot of jubilee tea, biscuits with homemade clotted cream and homemade strawberry preserves. Last week I picked 20 pounds of strawberries at the farmstead ranch (remember I was on Fox News). Did you see part 2 of my video on ye olde YouTube (channel: Raquel Margaret Carter) where I cooked and canned the strawberries? The little videos I've been making have been "Take Joy" moments, and I've relished in curating them. On Instagram, I'm incorporating (Beyond the Page) where I go live and chat with my sweet friends over there. It's lovely, and I would be tickled if you came to call too. If you enjoy our old-fashioned way of ye olde blog and would like to stick with that method, I've also managed to cover that score. As you see, I've embedded the videos here on ye olde blog (all of the highlighted blue words are links).

I hope you enjoyed my post on Stillwater. Since that post, I've been curating little calendar dates and focusing on old and newly reimagined traditions each month. Today, I began sketching up the calendar, and I'm starting with the month of April (no fretting, I'll have a whole year). I'll start chucking those events into the blog, so you can download the calendars to print and have all your little nittens in one place. They'll be all sorts of ideas and celebratory days. I'm tickled conch shell pink to begin having small gatherings in honour of Stillwater Society (our petticoat philosophy). This year April is a big month because of Sawyers book launch, in which I plan to make a real go of it. So it will stand in future as well; whenever one of my books release, those months will be most notably a more significant event. But not to fret, I'll have all of this here on the blog in detail so we can celebrate each month together. It's living and loving the small things in the simple ordinary days of life.

In April, we will have A Victorian Eastertide. I, Mrs Carter, will invite friends over for a backyard procession in the afternoon. The little women will don their hand-sewn dresses and bonnets, and the little gentleman in their 19th-century trousers and braces. It shall be a promise of renewal for all, offerings of hope for the bereaved during the years of reconstruction, picnic lunch on the lawn, Mrs Carter's Hot Cross Buns and olde fashioned amusements. The April celebration will concur with a press release for Sawyers book launch. Those who attend will pay a small pence and collected admission prices will contribute to more gathered celebrations and the erecting of The Carter Settlement.

A few things currently at play; if you've not been watching my YouTube channel, I do believe you're missing out. As I'm just at the genesis stages, I've created a few things to coincide with my authorship, artistry and Victorian lifestyle. Do you know the channel on YouTube where Mrs Crocombe/ The Victorian Way cooks and explains all things, Victorian? Whereas I think it's a dandy series, I wanted to play on that narrative but create 'quite literally' a real version like myself, living out a Victorian portrayal of life. I will focus on my Victorian lifestyle, my authorship and my artistry. All things Victorian clutched into one. How refreshing. Swim on over if you'd like to have a little natter with me. In this latest video of IG live, I speak on The Tale of Sawyer Lamb, Beyond The Page, and more about Stillwater®️ Petticoat Philosophy.

On the weekdays, I have been spending my time mainly on illustrations for The Tale of Sawyer Lamb, writing, researching and, of course, reading. My novel (Deceit and Dissension) is fierce with the quantity of research that's getting on, rather fun, no less. I also outlined my autobiography (The Little Mermaid's Transformational Tale). I will be publishing several books this year, and I feel so utterly appreciative that I'm on this current momentum. The post She loves me, She Loves Me Not really created a humming effect for my blog stats. Again, just as the Stillwater post went through the roof, so did the friendship one. I had several ladies in my hometown text and (direct message) me on Instagram. I've made plans for tea at The Tilted Tea Cup (our local tea room) and have gone to tea with two of the ladies last week. I also met two on different days at our local pub for a bite to eat. Genuinely, I feel all things are falling into place with Stillwater and the little grassroots society we're creating here in our little village. I believe it will be a vast success, and I can't wait to see all the changes occurring.

Do you recall the 19th-century British novel I'm currently writing; Deceit and Dissension? I've been crafting my outline around my protagonist Elizabeth Margaret Robins and organising my narrative. I've been reading copious amounts of books about the royals, mainly about Princess Margaret currently. The reason being, as you may recall, she had a near-decade ongoing affair with Roddy Llewellyn, the landscape gardener. Oh my, how telling. I believe this affair is showcased on The Crown. Unfortunately, I haven't watched The Crown, have any of you? Should I order the streaming service? I've been reading a few secondary sources: Princess Margaret and Lady in Waiting.

(A little history: When her long-standing affair with Roddy Llewellyn, a landscape gardener 17 years her junior, was exposed in 1976, she lost public sympathy, and her volatile marriage finally ended in 1978, the first divorce in the British royal family in 400 years.)

At the weekends, I've been working on organising Jeffrey Shawn and my belongings into plastic container bins. Then, when it comes time for him and me to get on, we'll be ready in a jiff.

Here's one of the books I have taken to reading, and It's quite lovely.

I hope your weekend is splendid and I'll see you tomorrow.

 

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

Why I’m Learning To Speak With A British English Accent

Wanna hear something funny?

When I told Jeffrey I was learning to speak with a British English accent and that I was taking classes. His response was:

”Baby, aren’t you afraid that people are going to think you’re a bit bonkers, like when Britney Spears shaved her head and began using a British English accent?”

Rabbit Holes Aplenty, New Discoveries And Delightful Adventures

My Dear Friends, and Mermaid Junkies,

Where to begin? Before I get to rambling about, I thought to tell you where I have been. My email was compromised to the most considerable degree, and so I was not remotely capable of signing into anything online. It's still not entirely repaired, but I shall do the best I can with what I have. I have been itching to get back to my blog. I have the story in its entirety in my draft folder. The whole bits and bobs of it, however, for this morning, I wanted to impart the lovely sentiments, and not dwell so profoundly on the negative. I've admittedly had enough negative with my email that I shan't revisit it still.

My Beatrix Potter'ings At Carter's Cottage, Book Release, And Splendid Intentions

My dear friends,

Let us have some tea. I am going to make some scones from a receipt that I found. However, I intend on changing it up a bit. A few of the ingredients that I will properly use will be rose water, rose petals and the nut selected will be pistachio. I am naming the scone Merrymaid Scarlette Rose Tea Scones. If however, they are a splendid tasting scone I will add them to the menu when I get my very own tea room {MerryMaid Scarlette Rose's Bakery and Tea Cottage}.

Why I Changed The Name Of My Non~Profit To The Carter Settlement

My dear friends, 

Good Morning. Well, as of Monday, Jeffrey and I are safely put in our new 'temporary' home. When Jeffrey and I drove to our little hometown for the first time, with the car loaded of all we owned, we knew this was surely going to be an enjoyable little adventure.

This morning I am having a cup of earl grey tea, and a piece of pumpkin cake. I'm curious as to what type of loose leaf teas you're fond of? Have you found one that is especially reminiscent of England? Please share with me, as I am in a much smaller town and I think I may have to order my teas online for now on. 

Everyday Life As Of Late

My dear friends, 

Won't you pour some tea and let us have a visit. I hope you have faired well. The gardener and I were indeed lucky again with the case of hurricane Dorian. She decided not to make a visit, and I am feeling rather appreciative.