Sunday, October 7, 2018

Fleeting Glimpses Of My Week

My dear friends,

I awoke this morning in the early hours to write. I fully embrace those early dew filled mornings where all the world is quiet, and I can hear the whisperings of God's in the written word. I feel those times of early are when I'm most attuned to know of my calling in life as a writer. I have been feeling the flow of writing for my blog and my latest novel, and I have to say I feel like it's a breath of fresh air to my spirit.
A sense of peace and internal connection with my soul's purpose has very much filled my capacities, and I confess that it has made my heart sing glad tidings.

My videos on my channel have been such fun to create. In the past few weeks, I have been attempting to vlog little stories of my days at the cottage. I'm not very good yet, but I'm not letting my inability to know how to construct something keep me from my life's journey, or my message.
 I am so pleased to announce that I found a lovely little company in England that will be making my bone china teapots and teacups. I'm in the embryonic stage of designs, but just to see the actual mockup shapes of the teapot and cups I chose in photos excites me beyond anything. I just had to share them with you, my dear friends. Do you like shapes?
Saying yes to life and to the things I love doing has become my new motto. To jump in feet first, that's the Mermaid inside of me. {heh} If we sit on an idea or a thought about something we'd love to do in life, we waste away our joy and happiness. Oh my, what fun we could be experiencing if we will only embrace all of life while here on this grand journey.
Jeffrey has been home for a week now, and he's settled back into his routine. He has to be careful not to exert himself too much, and I can see massive changes in his countenance, as well as his fierce desire for life, has returned with a vengeance. I am so happy for him and so proud of him. He quite an exceptional human being and I wake up every day knowing that our souls were destined to unite. I see every day that I am blessed to spend my life with him. Each day is a day that I treasure.
Jeffrey had a scare a few years back, and we haven't ever spoken of it publically. He went for a routine check~up, and they found that he had the makings of what looked to be the early stages of Prostate Cancer. Jeffrey is a gardener, and one of his long-term clients was the founder of the Moffit centre.  Having learned of Jeffrey's diagnosis he was so kind by giving Jeffrey an experimental treatment to see if it would disappear. It worked, but now it's more clear as to why I am very appreciative for my time with Jeffrey and feel alert if something in his health fails or causes us concern.

I don't often gush about Jeffrey, but when I do you know about it. In my world, he hung the moon and all the stars combined. {smile} I remember there was a time in my life that he was a mere dream I had conjured up as a young girl.
A lovely gifted photograph from my dear friend Bridgette on the beach in Cornwall. The location of the PBS series Poldark.
We spend all of our time together while he's not at his employment and I dream of the coming days where he'll be able to stay home with me for always. I know he desires that as well. We got a taste of togetherness while he was in the hospital and then back at the cottage. We dreaded the day of his return to his job. It's vital for our relationship that we spend time with our mates without requirements. I know it's nice to have time to oneself, but to have a genuinely connected bond with another, time is all we have. I intend to spend all of my time wisely. I speak on this theme, as I fully comprehend what my life was like in my previous marriage. We were glorified roommates if that. It's pertinent to be at one with the person you are intertwined with. What's the point of being in a marriage if you are just there out of convenience? I'd rather be alone. I felt an incredibly empty feeling of emotional anguish. I do recognize that it was partly to do with not fully embracing and loving myself wholly, but then the absence of connection in my marriage made it much more potent of a forlorn agony.
Isn't that how life is my dear friends? We have those little dreams from sparks of imagination as young children. But as we grow life takes over, and we soon become aware life has slipped from our delicate fingertips and those dreams we had as young little girls have filed away beneath the rubble debris of our stagnated dreams. So we conclude by convincing ourselves that is " the way life is, and we should just learn to get along."
I want to stimulate you in your thoughts on the matter. If that is the matter at hand in your mind, I implore you to not accept It. Don't become down in the mouth by feeling like it's too late for your dreams to come true. It's never too late, my dears.

Among other things, I have been working diligently behind the scenes with my new blog appearance. I still love the look of this blog header, but i felt it was time to change it up a bit with regards to a hosting program and layout. I am still not paying an individual to create my blog, but I would love too as It's surely maddening. I am the creative type, and I don't particularly care for technical things like code and the sorts. It clearly puts me in a fuss, and It takes me days if not weeks to recover from the frustration. I struggle with the decision to allow the Universe to find a solution for me, instead of me doing it all myself. Perhaps, as I am writing this, I should put out the intention that I would love to have someone do that part of the website for me. I teach about mindset, and maybe that's where my mindset needs to change and evolve. I am so used to doing everything myself that I have perhaps shut off my flow of allowing others to support and help me.
Are you like that? I know when I was a young mother, I was very much like that. I would never dare to ask another for help. I felt if I couldn't do it all myself and make it look effortless, I was somehow a failure. I think many young mothers that are raised in the South still abide by this rule of thumb. We are conditioned to believe that because our mothers did it with ease, we should too. By the way, I still think we have the exceptional capacity to do much more than we think we can. It's confidence in knowing we can do it, but that doesn't mean we have to do it to feel that we are a complete person.
The calendar says fall and is imposing himself here on the coast, and yet it feels not a bit at all like a change in season. I am zealous to return to Califonia, as the climate is just sufficient to evoke feelings of subtle temperature change. I often reminisce when living there, no need for the air conditioner, and I simply adored the winter. To walk into the garden and gather firewood for our wood-burning fireplace. There's something heavenly to sit in front of the fireplace and sip pumpkin-spiced tea while listening to the crackles of a balsam fire. I loved to sit upon the hearth and sketch by the amber filled light. The Outlands has seven fireplaces dispersed among the mansion, and I dream of the day I will build fires in each one.

I'll leave you with another image of The Outlands and wish you a wonderful new week ahead. Today is my dear Jeffrey's Birthday, so I want to celebrate with him.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

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