Ye Ole’ B~Log And I Had a Brain Wave Of An Idea

My dear friends, 

Oh, my word! Would you mind indulging me for a few minutes, while I spout off at the mouth? I happened upon my old, (as that crust that's on the bottom of that tray, that slides out from your toaster) blog. I should probably archive that blog, and put it out if its misery. Trust me. It's for your own good and mine, too. But, honestly, I will say that after reading it from beginning to end- minus the writing typos- I AM a good writer. I must admit it, and funny, too. I think, anyway.

Maybe, that's been my dilemma with my blog, as of late-I've not written with much surrealism. Not because I don't enjoy a little surrealism; because I do. You wanna know the truth of it?

{I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE IT OUT GRAMMATICALLY!} There, I said it.

Dear, baby Jesus; WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?

That's who I am in real life; so, maybe I should be myself and just write as I speak. I remember years ago on the blog, (Pioneer Woman), she gave her blogging secrets; and one thing she said was: write like you're speaking to your sister, unless, you don't like your sister, or you don't have a sister. I thought that was great advice, even though; I don't have a sister. Out of the mouths of blogging babes. 

Basically, she's saying, speak as you do in real life. I still remember her saying that, and that was like, a billion years ago.

I do use words like lackadaisical and forlorn, just because; I really love words. Always have. Always will. I write a new word on the fridge every week, and the gardener and I try to use it as much as possible. I used to do this when I homeschooled my children, too.

I'm talking about the blog, again, now.

The saddest part is that I didn't keep going with my blogging. I could kick myself for that; but, I can't live in regrets. I'm actually hoping that my writing skills are just like my mermaid skills. I could leave swimming for 20 years and still swim 4 football fields in 11 minutes top. Trust me, I can do that. Just recently, in fact.

I got skills with mermaid gills. Woot, Woot!

Hold the phone; while I pat myself on the back, in a BRAGGADOCIOUS fashion {I told you this already, I like big words and I can not lie}!

Onto other fragments of my brain.

I have a question to ask of you.

I wrote the first chapter of the BG {Beloved Gardeners} and my (or wait- is it me, instead of my) love story. I'm confused. Oh, Grammerlyyyyy, where art thou? {Big yellow alert circle, stating I have a misplaced word, I see you over there.}

Wanna read it? That is. The love story.

About me and my gardener? Huh, huh, do ya? 

I was thinking to ask you, how should I title it? I was planning to write you a chapter a week, on top of my regular scheduled posts.

It's mostly for you darling folks that don't give a rip about my pearls of wisdom but, prefer a little love story.

Do you enjoy a good story, about love; especially, in the summertime? I know, I do. 

Anywho... What I thought I could do was to list a few options, and you name the series or chronicles for me. Would you do that?

Are you game, friends? Let me know in the comments; and I will think of, say- 3 choices? I could then do a little painting give~away, too. That might be fun. Whadda ya think?

Also, just wanted to share with you some little pre-painted pieces I'm working on. If you see something that you think you might like to have, let me know. I'll post them tomorrow fully painted. mm...kay? 

Most affably yours til' my next swim, Raquelxxx

My Fountain Runneth Over {And Little Women/ Mermaidling Paintings Update}

My dear friends,

What a week this has been. I would indeed love to flourish you with dainty words and happy thoughts, for I have had an epiphany! I have been taken up for the last few weeks, through some deep and consistent meditation, and I feel ready for many new adventures. I feel a new lease on life, dear friends.

The summer days are upon us; I am as bright~eyed and bushy-tailed as they come.

I feel excited about the new ideas I have for my blog's future, authorship and my artistry. I am hoping to receive many more commissions for my Little Women/ Mermaidling paintings. I really miss the happy days of waking up, throwing the covers, and walking to my treasure room for the day of splashing paints about and rabbit undertow. The sounds of Debussy on the gramophone and the cool breeze blowing through the lace curtains. Is there anything more magical? I don't believe so. A sweet friend of mine sent me a message about painting little commissioned place cards and menu sheets. She said she would gladly pay for them, as she has many dinner parties. A pretty little place card would be such a delight at each plate. It reminded me of my dear, Beatrix Potter. Painting greeting cards and place cards are just how she began her career, too.

I wrote about my little commission pieces a few moons ago, but I was a bit lackadaisical in my efforts of promotion. I shall improve, indeed.

If you are curious about my paintings; below is a description of what I do to make each painting. I used to be on Etsy, which I may be for a bit longer; however, my new website will have an e~commerce store called; The Mer~Cantile. Its a little play on words for mermaid + mercantile, such as the Victorian days. Isn't it delightful? I used to have a little craft booth in the year 2000 with the same name. I sewed and made all of my items from yo-yos. Do you recall the yo-yo? It is such a sweet form of quilting. I should like to make a quilt for my sleeping room. It's very time consuming, but I love it ever so much. Have you ever made anything from yo-yos?

Little Women/ Mermaidlings 

An original custom Mermaidlings/Little Woman illustration is 4" x 6". Each little painting is in sepia ink and painted with watercolours. I infuse the paper with aged seaweed, flower tinctures and floral notes; that I've personally created from my garden here at Staffordshire Cottage. My water has been charged with crystals of rose quartz and moonstone. I believe that sending my paintings into the universe with a little magic adds a touch of love to all those that purchase my art.  Each painting is $20.00 sand dollars. My paintings have begun to have more detailing, and with the extra details, I have decided to add on a dollar per detail/pet. So, for instance, if you'd like a pet added, that will be an additional dollar.

Each painting comes with a hand-selected shell; that I have collected from years of beachcombing.

I am looking forward to painting for you. Last year, I had the opportunity to paint Christmas cards, addressing them with calligraphy and wax seals. They were exquisite and so beautiful, with the little added touches of gold leaf, they turned out beautiful. Another idea is to memorialise your pets. I have done many of those; they seem to be a real pleaser.

Send me your request by emailing me at Raquel@Raquelcarter.com
and I shall have a whale of a time painting for you!

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

How A Mermaid Writes And Illustrates A Storybook

My dear friends, 

Well, I've done it! You may have noticed that in a bid to become the world's most popular blog consisting of the words Victorian and mermaid, I managed to go through my posts and rename them- at nausea! I'm well aware, it may seem like a bit much. However, I am always, a bit much, and you know this about me already.

The Art Of Caring For A Cottage Bunny {And Sir Oliver Twisty Topsy's Tale}

My dear friends,

Upon learning that I have a cottage bunny, I've begun to have numerous 'rabbit care' requests. So, I thought it'd be a lovely trip down memory lane, to tell of Oliver's story; as well as, elicit some helpful information.

How To Make A Wattle Fence {For Your Victorian English Cottage Garden}

My dear friends,

Today is being spent indoors; garden planning with my dear ol' spirited friend, Beatrix Potter.

Yesterday, the weekend, and today, I'm using my time wisely, as today marks a week of daily rainstorms. The frogs love it, with their croaking and ribbiting. This is how I imagine the frogs in this type of weather. Dear Ms Magadalene, isn't she a sight with her apron, and bonnet atop her head?

The Art Of Organising Manuscripts For The Old~Fashioned Writer

 My dear friends, 

As you may know, I've been in the woolliest portion of writing my next tale, inspired by my most affectionate hero, Beatrix Potter called, "The Tale of Henny Penny Goody Two Shoes.

Why I Had An Emotional Affair {And What All Affairs Mean, According To Me}

My dear friends,

Well, I'm going to assume that you clicked onto my post, strictly because of the title, am I right? I'm delighted! I mean to lead you into further inquiry. {smile}

As a writer/ blogger putting my life and personal experiences into the universe are something I take satisfaction in; if you want the truth. Because in my lil' humble opinion, all too often, I see folks continuously restrain. Now- that's not to say that, every blogger out there needs to spill their insides, however, let us be a little more forthright and transparent, shall we?

In my life, many have judged me for sharing much here on my blog {my family included}, even to go so far as to tell me, I should feel embarrassed for what I write. They think it's a betrayal and that I'm shedding a negative light on my family. I have no quorums about sharing my truth. That's what the writer does. Perhaps that portion is from my English heritage. One musn't ever divulge family affairs, however, I believe one might derive some benefit from it, and I wouldn't want to leave out any missing elements to my story.

Furthermore, I have the most positive feedback from women that tell me, they are so happy that I am sharing things that would otherwise be left unsaid. I wanted to preface, too, that I share for my healing, and expansion, as well as, give encouragement to other women that may have struggled, like me. It's never for salacious or cruel intentions; only for expansion and personal growth.

Now, let me have a go, shall I?

The emotional affair occurred in 2009. There were no sexual relations {cue the Bill Clinton tapes}, but it's an affair when you know intuitively you are sharing and becoming too close with another person at the expense of emotions and secrecy. Quite frankly, the incident was a guarantee, now that I've had years to reflect on it. I also think it's much more dangerous to have an emotional relationship than a strictly sexual one. Why? Because a woman becomes very attached to another with regards to her emotions.

I had been married at this point for 18 years. I was strict, by the Bible/Book of Mormon, type of woman. In fact, I had myself many times admonished my ex to be cautious of his actions with other women. I used to tell him, even the appearance of adultery is substandard. Let's be clear, here, I know that no matter what we as women do or say in a marriage, won't mean a thing if there is no respect. That means for ourselves, our partner or the union of marriage. If a man or woman is going to be a charlatan, they will find a way to do so. No amount of control will stop either of them.

My ex was in entertainment, so, needless to say, I was insecure from the get-go and then in addition to entertainment atop that, only spelt disaster. Not because of entertainment per se, but the lacking of self-worth on my part. My ex-husband has always been a flirtatious lad, {and later I would uncover that he was a philandering adulterer}. Ladies, if you start dating a man, and you have any sneaking suspicion that he may be the unfaithful kind, you should run for the hills. It'll only worsen as time proceeds.  But, then, hindsight is 20/20, isn't it? I ignored my instinct when my ex and I first got together. Red flags were waving all about, but I was blissed out and ignored them. I believe intuitively I knew we were ill-suited from the start. He was constant in his actions of hurting and disappointing me. Nowadays, though, I don't beat myself about the head; in fact, I actually thank the nasty bugger for his philandering ways. He facilitated my becoming strong and forthright. 

Read this post {here} That I wrote about mating with your own soul and emotional mirror reflection.

Mmmmkay, back to the subject at hand. What led up to my emotional affair? Years of emotional neglect, pure friendship, deceit, and built-up resentment, layered like bricks for decades. 

He was my ex-husband's friend for over a decade. They were in church movies together; mingling in the same crowd. He spent a lot of time with our family; and single. I adored him. He made me feel like I was a lovely person, and he also made me see things that truthfully I didn't want to see for a very long time. He was also very persuasive, and I was very naive.

Well, as luck would have it, my ex took a trip for work, in the middle of us moving into our newly purchased home, and suggested having his friend come to help me with house "stuff."


We had been friends for over a decade, and I appreciated the time he'd spend with me. He'd actually carry on a conversation with me; compliment me, by saying, I looked beautiful in my old skirts and liked all the things my husband was annoyed by. You might think it a disaster, however, It was the very thing I needed to feel alive again. I would have never started, were it not for the unhappiness, to begin with. That is the truth about affairs. Whether it's an actual sexual affair or an emotional one; if you are miserable, the only thing that you want to do in life is to find a way of feeling good. This person made me feel beautiful. I had breath in my lungs again.

That emotional affair was a blessing in disguise because it caused me to begin looking head-on at all of my issues in my own life and in my marriage. My marriage was never the same after that. I attempted to file for divorce, even moving out for six months. I then ended up moving to California, and, well, you know what happened after that. It all worked out in the end, as it solidified how much I desired to leave the marriage. This was a paramount decision; because things are always working out for us, even when it seems they aren't.

Looking back, after living through the experiences with my ex, he was continually circumventing. I have often wondered, too, if I allowed that to happen? You know that saying, " people treat you, the way you allow them too?" Yeah, that. I really do think so! I will say, too, and it may be difficult for some to read; however, I have come to the conclusion that it had to do with the "saviour" mentality. Do you know what this is? Let me explain. My mother exhibits this behaviour, I struggled with it, and many women struggle with it, that have grown up in abusive or alcoholic environments. Women cover for the addict, by continually making up the difference. It's a self-worth issue on the part of the "abusee". For example, {I'm speaking from experience when I was young}, my father would come home from work, get plastered, and then decide he was hungry. My mother was to wake up {regardless of the time} and make him food. I remember he was so angry after the meal was made, he threw the whole pot of food onto the floor. Who do you think cleaned that up, after my father passed out in his own piss? My mother did. But, who do you think comes off as the person to save the day? My mother. She can use the victim card to receive sympathy from others. Thus, all active participants are getting their natural human needs met, even though it's complete dysfunction, it works. I had to retrain myself out of this behaviour, and let me tell you; that when a person has control issues {kids of alcoholic parents}, it's not easy. I had to allow the mishaps to occur and let nature takes its course.

{I would also like to clarify that my momma reads my blog and she understands that to help other women such as ourselves we must share our stories. I adore my mother, and she has, too, like me, learned to have inner self-confidence, love and worth.}

So, for instance, once, when my ex was in a fit of rage, screamed at me because Subway put mayonnaise on his sub sandwich, he threw it against the wall, where it stuck. My little girl began trying to clean the mess, and that's when I lost my mind. That day, the straw broke the camels back. I was seeing the behaviour passed onto my child; through watching me. I began screaming, "over my dead body will anyone but my ex, clean that sub up!" I didn't care if the sub stayed on the wall for 6 months and we had guests coming over. I was ready to let him look like a fool.

Needless, to say, he cleaned the mess, as it was gone the next morning. Now- I know what you may be thinking here, Ummm... grrr...CRAZY TOWN! Yes, I know. I don't want you to feel alone if this is, or has, happened to you. The problem is that many want to escape through pretty, frilly things; but, when we get to the brass tacks, we can then begin to heal and move forward. I speak of this because I was this way myself. It doesn't have to be a negative thing to carry for the rest of our lives, and that's why I am sharing it, I feel as though, many women, if they knew why they did things {cover for their mate, or child, for instance}, they might be inspired to change. I genuinely believe that the universe allows experiences to come to us, not as a way of punishment, but as a way to encourage us to expansion. How else would I have learned? We learn through life experience, that's the only way. I am so appreciative for my lessons, always. It's just a matter of shifting our focus to see all the occurrences with beauty and look at them with a heart of appreciation, instead of, being oppressed by a "God" that most humans deem vengeful. That is not who my or your God/Source is. AT ALL!

" I dwell in possibility." ~Emily Dickinson

Yep, I carried that rescue mentality with me into my marriage with my ex. He would act slow-witted, and because I was embarrassed and had low-self esteem, I would make excuses for him. It's an exciting scenario, when we allow others, even those we love very much, to take responsibility for their own lives. Amazing things happen. I believe that we, as women, must genuinely work to become self-sufficient and self-confident. That is our sole purpose; to fall, completely and madly in love with ourselves.

And when this self-love transformation occurs within us, women like myself won't need to have some man tell us we're lovely, and pretty, because we'll already KNOW!


Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

How I Found My {Old-Fashioned, 18th Century, Victorian} Trademark Style

My dear friends,

I am happy to report: that I am learning so much about website building, and here's a little snapshot from my iPhone camera so that you can see how far I've gotten. It may not seem to be much of a change; however, I am going to have a new hosting company, which will make a big difference; especially, with having a drop-down menu. I think I'm most excited, out of everything, about the drop-down menus.