Tuesday, August 30, 2022

The Art of Setting a New Precedence And How Homemakers May Enrich Their Spiritual Path By Living An Olde Fashioned Lifestyle

Over the past thirty-two years, I have always joyously discovered the answers to my inquisitive nature in homemaking books and magazines from another time. In the olden days, nurturing a family and pursuing the domestic arts—cooking, decorating, and handicrafts was always a woman's most rewarding achievement and never considered second-rate burdens. In addition, I constantly felt a gnawing at the teeth, an internal question of why deep within my soul (what was then the Christian aspect of me) as though my well was in constant need of refilling. My well was prone to drying up no matter how much I laboured to be the best I could be. I would feel high as if my well runneth over, but the sentiments would always wither. My dear friends and readers, I could not make sense of it. I see this now with so many women, and it's quite unfortunate because they believe I mean to do evil when I am only here to do goodwill. Why did a woman of "God" have to work so entirely hard to be happy when I was living the best I knew that was humanly conceivable? This perpetual imbalance would deepen for decades until I became profoundly dedicated to uncovering the secrets of man's/woman's purpose. It may sound highly far-fetched to clamour that after my endeavour, I found the absolute truth. So it was in 2014 when my spiritual transformation commenced. Then another extraordinary moment took place when my son died. I went on a quest that no man under the sun would stop until I came out the other side with answers. The murder of a precious child will do that to a mother. 

I was determined to get to the bottom of man's inquiry that has taken up the hearts of humans for thousands of years, and I did just that. I meant I would uncover the secrets and truths of old, for all else had failed me. Religion, God, therapists, pastors, friends, books; everything had failed me from that point, and I could take no more. The genuine meaning of our vitalities is joyous and blissful. I sound off with what appears to be an extremity in my writing, for I know I have the answers and the keys to help many women and children. My genuine interest is to assist women in comprehending themselves and carrying that forward to the children. To understand where women may go to find the profundities of their existence with spirited happiness. The kind of joy that is infinite. 

Since I was fifteen, I've kept my magazines and books in my Victorian wooden bookholder beside my bed. Before I retire, for a night of slumber, I savour the bits of warmth, wit and wisdom of long-forgotten Victorian writers who dispensed good humour and practical advice. The Victorian women held an appreciation and awareness that only hindsight could afford. I now understand that my authentic self was preparing me for a long winter's nap away from our big blue marble. But, instead, a psychic, physical and spiritual detour in my voyage steered me far away and back again to my heart's purpose. The forest of fools uses father time as a masquerade for essentials.

"Please understand from the outset that Mrs Carter and I (wink wink) share the same domestic and spiritual sphere, which makes us unique and set apart from the others. But, if I'm being honest, for many of those in-between years, my life flip-flopped so opposing that one might know me then and now and believe I'm penning science fiction." 

My sincerest apologies if this article sounds a bit like another post I've written in the past. When I was acquiring my aromatherapy certification, my instructor informed me that it takes at least five invitations for a person to believe oils work before one will accept and begin to utilise essential oils for healthcare and flowery medicinal benefits. In a nutshell, for someone to develop faith and lean in on confidence, several gentle reminders are required. So insist I must on this subject matter, for we have enough women in the niche of similar housewives and homemakers that are also women of faith. Oh, before I get on, I am not jotting down such discrepancies because I have a crawl against Christian women. I'm the opposite; I have contrasting feelings (having spent my entire life in two separate religions, Pentecostal and Mormonism) and now have left theology, so I have room to meander the waters about this subject matter with great confidence. 

The purpose for me to write about homemakers and housewives once again is, as many know, it would have been Tasha Tudors birthday on Sunday. So what better time than to resurrect the notion of lifestyle? 

Jeffrey Shawn and I had pumpkin spice cake and tea in the cottage and prattled that all of our dreams had finally come true. It was most lovely, and such excitement was in the air. 

I thought, what a precious little opportunity to broach the conversation that one size does not fit all. I've yet to find someone in public (Instagram) with the same lifestyle as me, meaning that I feel like, at times, when I see one account, I can barely tell one apart from another. Did they all receive a secret memo of cookie-cutter Instagram feeds? Oh, the scandal. Those accounts scantly vary, but almost always, the person's aesthetic is synonymous with a profile of living for the lord (that was not a slight, mere fact that they feel a great desire to create a label signifying they are religious). Well done, and happy prospects for believers living for the lord. However, the boxed-up title is the tribute that forms a barrier to teaching with compassion, matters of the heart and the nature of unconditional love.

In addition, I find repelling these same professing saints most prone to self-label are those who have created a facade. I can name two handfuls that present this persona (for persona, it is), and it's nothing shy of a hoax. These ladies are presenting a narrative that they are the same on social media and in their private lives, which is untrue. I am consciously aware, and be rest assured; I know this is a Mrs Carter point of discord. She will remedy it in time, but for today she desires to notify participants of their folly most gently—wink wink. I receive hundreds (indeed hundreds) of letters from women that want to remain private but have struggled with women in the same circles of similar circumstances. Their secrets are theirs to tell, not mine. However, if I have the blog readership and the use of a global platform to bring this to the forefront, I am chuffed to do so. My blog and books are a teaching opportunity to spread a new wave of transformational inspiration to women and do away with the old, worn-out kind that no longer derives benefit.

May I be so bold as to disclose and sound the golden trumpet that to be a homemaker/ housewife does not involuntarily mean I am a religious person or that all women of want to be traditional homemakers/housewives are religious folk? So without Ms Tudor falling on the sword, all women entrepreneurs who were married and then divorced, that are not religious, can also be homemakers and traditional housewives. I am these things, but I have been through such extraordinary events with having been in religion and married that it created a sense of rebellion in me (much like Tasha) for several years after my divorce. I have eternal respect for my now husband Jeffrey, as does he for me. I can not say that about my ill-suited ex-mate. Again, that is a matter I am mending, and confessionally, there remains a small chip on my shoulder; nevertheless, I have father time on my side, so it shall pass. The inquisitive challenge is how many women struggle with the synonymous ties of being a housewife and an independent woman. I am not speaking of being a feminist either, for I am not. In addition, I have no judgement of those who are, for I respect everyone. There shall be no coaxing of mainstream media groups (such as Instagram).

I will advocate for those respective positions and for ladies to rise and take charge with the grace and manners of the highest. I also feel I am more than capable of tolerating the pressure. A woman with a low self-concept would collapse; a prime example is a fall from grace is that of Rachel Hollis. She presented the portrayal as a self-made woman, yet the truth was nepotism. The mask slipped. She is an insecure woman held up financially by her then-husband. She presented a farse just as many women in the media do; they are not who they proclaim to be, and as I've always declared, that kind of absurdity will work but not long term.

Rachel Hollis's target audience is traditional homemakers and housewives who are religious. She learned brow-beating, love bombing and fear tactics from her minister father, so she knew how to work that structure by preying on insecure homemakers with barely an outlet besides social media to bolster her scheme. As years have gone on, I am indifferent to Ms Hollis. However, a few years ago, when I wrote numerous articles about her, I gave her a good rubbing of salt in her wounds. She required a lashing as she had developed an acid tongue for her supporters, and I think her behaviour was revolting. She often left her manners outside the back gate. Well wishes to Ms Hollis, for I believe in women and their capacity to change. 

I felt protective of the many women whom upon which she strategically pillaged. The inauthentic manner in which folks behave and quite unpleasantly, might I add, is not a loving message to spread. It certainly does not create a breeding ground for fellowship and upliftment for women's communities. I have found my spot. I have carved out the women who love the values of womanhood and the dainties of loveliness without the assumption we are also religious women. I also do not feel it is positive to push forth that notion. I realised no one was willing or available to take up the mermaid crown of advocating for women who aren't a part of a religious sect. There will be a change, and I am doing my bit to continue as an advocate for homemakers, homemaking and returning to an old-fashioned lifestyle much like Tasha Tudor. I am so appreciative that I have at once understood the requirement for a niche to support and facilitate in the manner of recognising our worth as women who have chosen a lifestyle such as our dear Tasha Tudor. Tasha Tudor was not a religious woman. She, as did myself, aimed for a more wholesome way in the early years whilst rearing one's children. The structure of a comforting and safe home teaching children with confidence and delight was a noble charge of which I feel quite proud. I am not against the desire for women who enjoy their Christian lifestyle and faith; I implore them to stand bold in their convictions with authenticity. My objective is to encourage women to use and rely on their power and comprehend this is empowering women to depend on themselves for everything and stop seeking little isms to gratify their insecurities. The creation of Mermaid Goddesses is to return to self in all manners. I also find it endearing to choose to have cohesive respect for our men, not a hierarchy but one of equal fitting. 

The slippery slope of strategic play is that one size fits all. I'll not stand by and remain silent if my conscious convicts otherwise. I believe it's harmful to women and creates division, as I've stated often. I mean only genuine help when I speak this way. There are those women who are sending the message of exclusion to those women who choose to be homemakers and traditional housewives that one must also belong to a faith to feel included. Out of pure curiosity, if one has ever glanced at Instagram and hashtagged housewives, homemakers or old ways, the suggestions will show many popular pages, and nearly all of them have some holy word of the like in their description. I think it's irrelevant or that one has to be synonymous with the other. This chronicle is not a post about religious rebellion or persuasions. As I stated often, I think it's quite beautiful to be a Christian, for I want all women to feel fellowship and do what makes them feel happier as women, but not at the expense of exclusion which many of these women are creating.

I will, though, state the religious aspect goes far beyond and plays a much deeper role than to say they aren't merely connected. This topic is deep and more complex than many care to address. Hence, it feels like a play of high school antics and a continual game of pigeonhole, and that is why I have included three scales/chapters in my book (The Little Mermaid's Transformational Tale) out in 2023. Allow me to complete this post; for now, I hope you did not have to reach for your smelling salts, my dear friends. Smile and toodle pip, darlings. 

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx


  1. A timely post. The coming of autumn always brings Tasha to mind. I was just looking at something of hers earlier today and now this :-) I had not thought about those "hashtags" bringing up Christian sites but don't doubt it. Most often, I am dismayed by what is presented as old fashioned or historic. Whatever it is that's missing makes me long for a visit with my great grandma.

    1. I believe so too. I think of her quite often; she was the epitome of how to embrace an olde fashioned lifestyle. I look to her for guidance in my voyage.


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