Treasured Tales

Thursday, September 23, 2021
"Momma, I'm a woman now. I know, baby. I replied with tears. I brushed the stray hairs from her brow and wiped away tears trickling down her peachy flush cheeks.

With my wrinkled, opaque, vanishing face of freckles, I returned, "I am so very sorry dear Zoë Kennedy; I love you so much. I never meant to hurt you. Please forgive me, will you forgive me?

"Yes, I do, Momma." She replied.

The emotions flooded me like a damn that finally broke open. No longer a desire to run, stance with defensiveness, nor fear fleeing from the rejoice of our mending hearts. No one else existed, just a mother and daughter, reconnecting, healing and closure after five long years.

I kept holding onto her as an overwhelming yet fleeting thought surfaced like a swift gust of strong wind, "will this same embrace be my last one of mortality duplicating itself as it did with Sawyer on Mothers day of 2019?" Will, I become childless without her pup once again." Those thoughts cross over a mother that's lost a child to travesty. I restrained the enormous impact of my pounding heart. I quickly diverted my thoughts. No, I said to myself. That is fear attempting to drive a wedge from my flourishing and blossoming newfound relations with my daughter of womanhood.

I slowly turned around, walked inside the cottage and leaned against the nine pane window cottage door of chipping rust paint, peering out, watching her leave, yet allowing myself the consent to feel uncomfortable for the moment. I gave myself the gift of release and the washing away of an olde chapter in my life that has now page turned. If you were to cut my chest open, that scar remains there carved into my heart, but today no longer a wound of injury and sadness. It is now a memory of a mother nicely tucking away a moment in time for safekeeping as you would treasure gifts in a young girls hope chest awaiting anticipation of a never-ending reopening of learning and discovery. Lodged deep within us all, we can see our life stories as beautiful tales with winding roads patched together in love.

How will your story end?

Sharing From My Heart

Tuesday, September 21, 2021

Might I share a little piece of my heart with you? I shared this on my Instagram feed yesterday, and I felt it lent nicely in what I was trying to convey without spoiling my desire for grace. 

My first marriage is now a faint memory to me, and divorce was the only approaching antidote of something on a grander scale. One can only live for so long on a one-sided love; two hearts were passing like ships in the night. I fought for the eternal element, which made my desire to remain together for decades much more fierce. But, to put it gently, we could not abide together.

During those years, I would return to my writing and painting. When the mire of my thoughts became too much, I would collect my diary and walk to the pond laden with beautiful swans. Essentially I was going home; each time I fled, I was home, living in my words; writing, pondering, meditating, reading and questioning. In those fleeting moments, I never felt happier. To keep it brief, he created within me a fierce drive to find my own truth that otherwise external traditions of religious, generational conditioning would have contrarily silenced. That element of searching has been absent from my life for many year's now. I am on solid and anchored footing. I am complete, but not by the world's standards, such as clockwork with no magic. My God is not your God; my God is in my details. Just as you see the wonder in a long stem red rose, I know that similarity in a dewy fragrant petal of the white gardenia.

When I opened up this space (rejoining Instagram) with you initially, and truthfully, I was pinpricked, wounded and shattered. Yet, I am slowly beginning to reignite and illuminate the light from within myself. Each time I write a caption, portions of my soul resurface. I believe my purpose is revealing itself, and I'll continue forth, dreaming, breathing and wondering. Something will come of it; undoubtedly, something will emerge.

Victorian Fashioning After My Lifestyle Icon, Tasha Tudor

Friday, September 10, 2021

“I was very insecure as a girl, though I'm quite bold now. I was different, teased in school because I was so connected with the past, wore old-fashioned dresses, and wouldn't cut my hair. I didn't give a darn about that. I only wanted to work in my garden and milk my cow.” ~Tasha Tudor

When I first began wearing victorian clothing (comprised of the corset too) every day (which was October of 2019), I long had the notion since childhood. I needn't remind you how often I've spoken about wearing old-fashioned clothing when I was a young girl, along with the wild impressions that would fill my brain to the brim of happy endeavours with being an artist and author precisely like my hero and victorian girl Laura Ingall's Wilder. However, just as with everything we take on as a new voyage will take a bit of planning and implementation. So I've begun this feat as an experiment whilst living at my folk's and transforming their olde' storage house into a victorian one-room cottage. I've left out a few things to make this story (blog post) cohesive, such as the many flubs I've come up against. For example, I attempted to sleep all night in the cottage (without a small air unit) but had to return to my folks (big house) because I nearly fainted with a heat stroke. (Remember, this is a journey of experimentation, but I have implemented the lifestyle to the best of my ability (with where I am circumstantial, which is living with my folks), and I plan to keep it up forever. I'm not going back. However, I will note that I will be rather tickled to move into my very own authentic victorian with massive land. Now, won't that be something of extraordinary measures! Everything in due time. 

As many of you know or have watched my evolution from when I first began my transformation, you can quite clearly see my transitioning from average dress to living as a victorian as much as I'm am capable of doing. Unlike many folks, I have decided not to remain quiet as my conscience has prompted me to share my voyage openly with you, my dear readers. Furthermore, I think it's a lovely opportunity to share the various phases of a process. Understandably it's not for everyone. I think the theory is lovely for most eccentrics or artistic folks, but to actualise such a feat, it's not for the weary, I can assure you of that. I am the kind that never does anything by halves. I've held this trait my whole life long. I truly immerse myself in an aspect. It's the perfect way to sharpen my writing skills and, most importantly, for me to live my dream life as in olden times. What better way to write than having lived aspects of the stories I've written and will write. I can share details that make for a much more enriching tale. However, as I've spent these last two years living at my folk's little cottage, I have understood many beliefs about myself. I now know this was always my truest self, but because of limiting beliefs and lacking self-confidence, I faltered and began subjecting myself to other folks theories of how I should live. The lovely quote I jotted down on my Instagram page yesterday (above) is something Tasha Tudor stated in a book once, and no truer words were ever spoken. It's precisely my sentiments verbatim.

The below quote from one of my secondary sources is a wonderful explanation of what dress has the power to do for an individual.

"Dress, then, is something more than a necessity of climate, something better than condition of comfort, something higher than elegance of civilisation.  Dress is the index of conscience, the evidence of our emotional nature.  It reveals, more clearly than speech expresses, the inner life of heart and soul in a people, and also the tendencies of individual character."

—Sarah Josepha Hale, 1866.

Manners, 1866, p. 39. Quotations of Quality  

I am having such a delightful time with each new day of implementing more and more pursuits into my everyday. I thought I would give you a scant version of my daily schedule, sharing what I do each day as a victorian. This will not be a sharply detailed schedule, but you comprehend my objective, surely. If you enjoy watching me, you can follow me on Instagram, where I publish videos and post IG lives so you can actually watch the process. I make pies, loaves of bread, and all sorts of things on my live Instagram. It's rather delightful. 
Morning: I get dressed and make a cup of tea. I then put on my wellies and head out to tend to the farm animals and water the gardens. Next, I prepare my two buckets of boiling water to carry to the cottage (Scarlette Rose) to use for the whole day (washing, cleaning, cooking and drinking as there's no indoor plumbing, water or privy.) I then brush my teeth, fix my hair and put on a little makeup. I then apply my oils and do my morning meditation. I'll spend the next portion of the day reading, doing research for one of my manuscripts, painting and writing. When I have a fun project (sewing, altering an antique, or building something), I'll also add that in while it's daylight.

Midday: I stop for a bit of lunch, tea, make some bread or dessert, take some photos, plan supper, run errands if needs be and then have a lie-down. I strongly encourage naps. Tasha Tudor was known to take a nap every single day as well.

Evening: I pull the curtains, light a few candles/ lamps, set soft music and wait for my gardener to arrive home from his employment. Once he's settled in and comfy, I'll cook him a hot meal. We will eat, I'll clean the kitchen, wash down everything and put the kettle on for a cup of chamomile tea and a scone. I will head out at the start of the moon and close up the coop and collect eggs. I will take my tea and light a candle, and settle in for the night. After my tea, I'll wash my face, check on Sir Oliver, put on my nightgown and slip off into a slumber.

Do you think you could live as a victorian? I know I would miss two things for sure, living in the victorian era, which is dentistry and indoor running hot water. This I have learned most thus far. Do you have any questions? 

The Curious Mind Of Raquel Carter

Saturday, August 14, 2021

I've been steadily working on my Patreon supported series, writing and illustrating manuscripts. I wanted to get this video introduction sent out to allow you the heads up on joining. The first episode will be up before the end of August. I'm sure you'll love it. 

If you'd be so kind and feel moved upon, I would indeed be appreciative if you sent out a siren call to your friends and fellow mermaids of this series by sharing. Thank you so much in advance. 

I'm quickly learning how to use a more proficient camera for video, so bear with me as I navigate the waters. 

Have a lovely day and a most beautiful weekend. 

Wishy-Washy To And Fro ; Living Happily Ever After In The Hansel And Gretel Cottage

Thursday, July 22, 2021

The morning set off to be quite an adventure. Jeffrey Shawn and I were to make a trip to the small quaint town of Mt. Plymouth, where there was a little Sam Stoltz cottage I had longed to own for over ten years. It was a quiet morning; the only sounds heard were the two roosters crowing. I was rather thrilled and couldn't sleep a wink the whole night previous.

I fed the chickens and returned to Carter's cottage to finish up a cotton petticoat I was labouring over before we were to dash to the appointment, which would consist of a one hour and thirty-minute drive.

We stopped at the market, chock-fulled the gas tank, gathered a few snacks and began our excursion. Have you ever had a moment in your life when you've desired clarity on a particular matter, knowing it's vital to your soul expansion? I had spent the last six month's very much needing a gap to close out in a pattern of old cycles, and on this particular day, I got that answer. We as humans are prone to repeat patterns (often without even realising it). Yes, I felt something in my life needed to change (once again), but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. We, as landlocked folks, out of sheer resistance, tend to reject seeing things differently? For me, I have found that I have to be physically taken elsewhere to gain a new perspective. I had no idea this is what my inner being led me to on this particular day of seeing the cute cottage in Mount Dora. Humans are habitual and stubborn that way. I had been having one of those moments for a while (not realising it until the last retrograde), and I was determined to get an answer; I just had no idea going to a private house showing was the way I would receive my response. I spent many times in the previous six months curious about perpetual mental hurdles. Assuming it had to do with how I have always dealt with my adolescent behavioural patterns and why I have consistently used "running" as a source of eliminating my pain. (Running mentally and physically). Many years ago, I recognised that when I had issues and felt pain, I would deal by distancing myself from everything, going so far as even to want to physically move house, believing that physically leaving a situation would rectify the pain.

A tip that never works long term mind you. Because at the day's end, we are taking ourselves with us. I know today to feel safe means that staying sat is the only way to heal. Remaining in the moment and resting in the uncomfortable feeling, understanding my triggers has been the ultimate healing tool for me in my voyage of self-discovery and learning to love the woman I am. I had previously dealt with my trauma by believing that to feel safe; I had to run. I soon realised I was 'running' from everything in my life because running and hiding were how I felt safe as a child. That's what we do. I ran and hid under my bed, in a closet or the basement. We learn how to cope as children, and if those trauma discomforts in our lives never get stitched up and healed, we can live to be seventy years old and continue those patterns. Well, you know me by now, and I'm not one for doing things repeatedly once I've gotten the bit between my teeth, knowing the why of something. So if I see a cycle I am repeating that has not an ounce of serving value, I'm not eager in continuing the pattern. Especially since becoming a new version of the Raquel I am today. Change is inevitable, we can either change voluntarily, or universal laws will do it for us. Believe me; I'm not interested in that as it's much harsher when we refuse to change willingly.

Additionally, I realised what I have done my entire life is unfailingly make everything be about others, putting myself last, if at all. Then after giving of myself so much, I became resentful because there was never a time it became about me and my needs getting met. I went about serving others (somewhere in the back of my mind believing) that my day would come and everyone would see how wonderful and giving I was and return me the favour. Harsh incoming reality tick, that day never comes, my dear friends. We must achieve this of our own accord. The world is full of selfish beings. Selfish IS NOT an unpleasant word; it's a factual universal law. ALL humans (and I mean ALL humans are by nature; selfish.) When stripping everything from any subject, the genesis will be the direction to selfishness. We are getting a return for every solo action we take. Many don't want to believe me and go about becoming hearers of the word but not doers. Test it. Just test it, and you'll see I'm right. I don't need validation that I'm correct; I just am.

I have to meet my own needs, and if that comes with the price of letting folks leave my life, then they never belonged there, to begin with (and I no longer feel guilty either.) I had a Jesus complex and thought I needed to rescue everybody. When actually no, that's not my employment. Most significantly, folks honestly never want saving. They might give off that narrative, but they honestly wish to trust to believe that they can save themselves. Have you ever noticed those codependent folks that scrounge and scrape end up resenting the actual ones that helped them the most? This notion is because their inner being KNOWS innately they need to rely on self and not another human to save them. No one needs saving. If we were to look deeply enough, we would understand we (yes, we) are getting a feeling payoff for "helping" another. Whether that's to feel helpful or looked upon as a good person, we are doing it most often for selfish reasons. It's a hard reality when it comes to practising this; indeed, I know, but in the long term scheme of things, it's the greatest gift to bestow on others as well as ourselves. That is true unconditional love at its purest. Trust in others and know they have their inner being just like we do, and they WILL find their true north. They will follow their inner compass, I assure you. And as my Grandmother was always known to quote, "They'll figure it out" and boy was she right. 

It's impressive how fast one realises the folks that authentically respect and appreciate us truly when one decides to place themselves on the pedestal instead of every Tom, Dick and Harry. When we put our needs first, and they are no longer first, how quickly we become aware "they leave." It reminds me of the story of Hansel and Gretel. Speaking of Hansel and Gretel, that's what this cottage (above) is called, "The Hansel and Gretel Gingerbread Cottage".

If you recall, in the Hansel and Gretel fairytale (after they followed the stones back, the parents dropped them off again), the children left bread crumbs so they could once again find their way back, but what happens? Birds ate the crumbs, and Hansel and Gretel became lost. Think of why the parents abandoned the children in the woods. The parents were starving, and because of famine, they couldn't provide for themselves and their children too, so they left their children in the woods. The parents were SELFISH! They thought ultimately about themselves first. If that is not enough to realise we've been receiving teaching tools our entire lives through fairytales, I don't know what is. Indeed fairytales are harsh, but just as Doctor Clarkson states to Barrow in Downton Abbey about facing the truth of his sexuality, "the hard truth is much better than false sensibility." This truth is why I feel it's best not to sugarcoat life, life can be harsh, but it doesn't have to ruin a beautiful fairytale. We create our reality, and as sharp as life has the potential to be (if one chooses to believe), it also can be a happily ever after. I'm taking the happily ever after. Thank you very much. Happiness is a choice, a very determined choice. If we want and deliberately choose, we can be the happiest of all. I'm living proof of it.

We all do it, and that's perfectly fine, but once we know better and understand the 'why,' we will be the better for it. I'm not sure if it's because I'm a Pisces, but I know Pisces are very likely to become overextended and give ourselves to others first, putting ourselves last nearly always. It's often at a self-inflicted detriment. Pisces are lovely that way; however, I have come to understand that it's perfectly wonderful to place my needs and desires first and then assist others. If I continued the cycle of self-sacrifice any longer, I knew it would be a form of self-sabotage, and I was no longer desirous of repeating that offensive manoeuvre.

Furthermore, I will never be quite capable of inspiring millions of women if I am a sacrificial lamb at every turn. I believe one must be incredibly confident and have a spine of steel to handle the responsibility of encouraging women to follow their hearts. To influence is not a job for the weary. That's another aspect I saw clearly, as Jeffrey and I left the county line after witnessing the cottage. I have permanently shifted, and that old way of running as I was known to do was now gone. I noticed an old cycle that passed away, and how good that felt I had grown so profoundly. Now mind you, there's nothing wrong with leaving an area that feels awful; however, I'm going to explain why we leave and why it's essential to learn to control our thoughts and emotions in the place we are, working through the feeling first. After aligning, if we still want to move, then do so, but get ourselves emotionally on track first and foremost. Remember (we always take ourselves with us), it's always our right to move. Still, we will relive the same experiences no matter where we move to eventually, after states, countries, house after house; we will have to move planets or live in caves with squirrels because we can not outrun ourselves. Have you ever noticed after a move or a new job that we find about three months down the line that we are reliving the same experience we thought we left behind? This action is because, as humans, we weren't taught properly how to resolve inner conflict. We did the best we knew how, but now I'm showing you there is a better way through my teachings. We never get our lives wrong or make mistakes, so never feel that one journey is incorrect; each is specific and unique. Some folks take longer than others, and that's absolutely in accord with what is meant to be. So that's first on the list of not feeling guilt or self-loathing for anything we've ever done. To be accepting and loving to ourselves is vital for giving ourselves unconditional (godlike love). (All of the answers lie within our consciousness, and the only reason we do not receive answers as quickly as we would like is for sheer self-inflicted resistance.)

It has nothing to do with "the will of God." That is man's statute to feel better about not receiving the desires of his heart. If we can say to ourselves, "it's not Gods will", it makes us as humans feel better about not receiving what we know is rightfully ours by birthright.

We arrived at the cottage exchanged pleasantries with the realtor and broker, and then I went about the tour. As I walked through the house, it was lovely as can be, and just how I remembered it many moons ago; however, I felt my perception had changed. My soul felt the great inner convictions of what I knew I wanted, and the cottage list of lack to fill those desires began to pile up becoming less favourable by the minute. Whether it's age, wisdom, and having lived a life of feeling trapped, I now knew my list of non-negotiables, and I was not going to "make do" or accept the scraps of crumbs as I so easily would have done in the past. It gave me cause to reflect, too, on how often we as women will truly want certain things, but because our self-worth/concept is low, we begin compromising. We tell ourselves we could live without "that or this thing", but truly, why do that to ourselves. We must stop doing that and decree what we want. We must have the mantra; if it's not exactly what we want, we say, No, not good enough!" I want the exact thing I desire, and I know I will receive it. We have to be the initiator, though. If you grew up in a religious home (as I did), understand that every decree in the scriptures begins with us decreeing first. Read these claims: ASK, and it shall be given. KNOCK, and it shall be opened. SEEK, and ye shall find. GIVE US our daily bread, FORGIVE US... Those are just a few, but are you recognising a pattern? Indeed the pattern is we are the initiator, and we are DEMANDING what is to be done very clearly. There is no asking, pleading or begging. It's a declaration, no negotiating. That means WE are the operant power. This message is powerful, my friends. We must become unapologetic women. That doesn't mean I'm saying rude, arrogant or anything such as that, but utterly resilient. No wavering, to and fro. Unpenetrateable. That's our employment. To know we are worthy, always have been worthy and always will be worthy. The unfolding of my list had long grown stale, and the woman that once upon a time desired that darling little cottage has gone away. She doesn't exist any longer. I can't tell you enough what that small jaunt of a trip did for me; my inner being knew it was just the tonic I needed. I received every single answer to the questions I had, and I've never been better. Nothing visually changed that you can see, but what changed within me has set me on the road to the victory of self-confidence that you've not seen yet. With new desires that have become much more apparent. See, frequently we as women think we want particular things, and we place those desires on our trail to attain, believing (and perhaps it's true at one time when they were newly fragrant in our minds) that they would just set our heart aright. What I'd like you to understand is that when we desire something, and no matter its cause, of not happening, it's not because we aren't worthy of it. It's always because we either believe that having the thing will be what makes us happy, and we believed we haven't earned it or suffered enough, struggled enough, been found worthy enough. When the truth is our inner being always has our back. Women of faith, I have found from my experience, raised devoutly religious, become conditioned to believe that we are good but have to work (as in effort) to be found worthy of receiving. There's much to do about feeling inadequate in life. And somehow, for me personally (my story is, of course, my story), I could never be deemed worth the true desires of my heart. We're taught that with enough faith, we can have, but here's the caveat/ contradiction to that confusion brings a strong compulsion onto women, most especially young mothers. If one believes that we follow the abiding laws of one's faith, but we do not truly and deeply possess the faith within, it's a never-ending tug of war on a heart. When two distinctly opposing theories are laid before us, they sound lovely and flowery in theory, but if we have low self-worth (because we aren't taught that being powerful as a woman), is a godlike attribute, we will intentionally make excuses for not receiving. We are raised to believe we must remain subjected to those above us. Do you see the contradiction in the beauty, divinity, and all things holy that will elude women? That's not to imply fleeting moments when I was heavily into theology, surely I had moments of feeling happy, but that had nothing to do with me performing all of the acts of righteousness. It had everything to do with me aligning with the God within myself. If we are to enlighten the world with truth, it doesn't have to come with a price. It is that God Consciousness always loves me and always loves you. Period. Each person has a Godlike aspect. There is no other way. Because I am now different because I know the truth, I was especially judged most harshly by the women of faith. Now I could never display to you or give enough words to try and make you understand me, nor do I have to, that's not why I'm writing this. Still, the thing I will tell you is that I am here to speak on matters that most women shy away from. Women (little girls) look to their "God" in the same way they view the male figures in their lives. Humans mimic; little girls mimic their mothers, caretakers, etcetera and most often, how they view the men in their life is equal to how they view their God in the heavens. I know I have been placed here to do many things just as everyone has, for a special purpose, and I know it's to help inspire a spiritual revolution of removing the scales off folks eyes. I couldn't see how much I didn't want to ultimately live in that little cottage until I gained a new perspective. I wouldn't have gained a new perspective until I decided to go and look at the cottage. We are often so stubbornly busy scrolling Instagram and seeing the feeds of all the so-called ladies living the dream, and it's simply not true in the least. A dream, yes, their own, but I guarantee you, were you to be placed in their tail/shoes, you'd take your own life every single time. I promise you that. We are all dream makers, my darlings and don't you dare forget that for a moment. I can truly say, home resides within my soul, and I need not have to wander down trails or visit little places pretending to be somewhere I'm not. I found the true keys to my kingdom, and no power asunder can take it from me. I'm satisfied but always eager for more. This life is not about attaining things, it's about knowing our worth, and if we continue to place our worth outside of ourselves, we will lose every time.

The cottage is darling though, right? 

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

How To Demonstrate Like an English Lady {And How I Turn A Foes Daggers Into Blessings}

Saturday, July 3, 2021
I've been having such a lovely time erecting the victorian cottage; it feels as though I'm playing house, and who can argue with that blissful notion? I'm living out my fairytale, such as when I was a wee little girl. I'm not sure where the gardener and I will be in a few short months; however, I am enjoying the process presently. When I was a child, I utilised my fathers surplus of wood pieces from his old carpentry jobs and made a fort in the triangular clutch of pine trees adjacent to our little house in the country. It had curtains, sides and a roof. It wasn't much by anyone else's measure; however, to me, I dreamt I was Laura Ingalls Wilder. Each day following school, I would change into my play dress (mummy wouldn't allow us to play in our good clothes, and I always survived barefoot), snatch up my notebook paper (I still use the same form for diary entries to this day (wide-ruled notebook paper), pencils, and tea (I nonetheless drink tea as I did when I was little) spending hours upon hours until the call for supper dreaming up the life I'd someday act out in detailed precision. I am performing those exacting aspects as a woman now almost 50 years of age. Isn't that extraordinary! It's so valid that what we loved as children, those moments that take us to a place in our mind and heart that was most wonderful and where it all came to be. That is precisely why we love those fleeting memories that bring us such happiness. It's nestled so beautifully in our cognitive, and we will navigate to reach those moments, whether it be lifestyle, dress, career and whatnot. It's what makes my heart beat like a kettle drum; can you hear it?

An unsuspecting dear soul that I knew many years ago sent me a message, remarking that she’d seen something on an Instagram account (mind you, I'm blocked from), in which a foe was referring and referencing, which very much pointed in my direction. Prevailing as the human being, I am with emotions and feelings; I wanted to tick off the inquiry to see for myself if I could manage to read something that was intentionally meant to hurt me and yet not be moved by it. I was victorious once again. I giggled and thought it was a clever attempt to make me indignant, and yet I thought it comical. Instead of an olde age way of conducting myself in my preceding skin, I wrote a small snippet on my Instagram, which did its part, to sum up how I feel about old cycles and becoming a better version of myself (an English lady). I've once again used my foes attempted lashing as a way of recognising my enormous growth. I believe this is the truest sense of taming an unruly mind and discerning how much self-love I possess. I've got the bit between my teeth, and there's no getting at me anymore. So do you distinguish how we can permit those that would persecute us with ill intentions as an advantage strategy instead of countering?

Whenever there's an apparent attack, the foe reveals themselves to be dreadfully unhappy within their personal lives. We mustn't use their misfortune as a time to display retaliation but instead send them windfalls of wish and good fortune. Let us hope for them to look within and retrieve their own acknowledgement from whence their pain is emerging. I state this most lovingly as I comprehend this futility first hand. Furthermore, I want no part in a boomerang effect of spreading havoc on another soul, for surely remember, “Curses, like chickens, always come home to roost.” I want no part in that.
In the past, I sought retaliation because I felt injured, but I've since revised all of my histories. It makes one more sympathetic when we can understand another's pain and why they seek to inflict it. Might I be clear that having an understanding heart does not mean approval? Let us reflect we are the deities of our reality. When we ultimately take upon that role, we will more accurately accept our lifes position of whether we would appropriate blessings or ruin. It should not be the feeling of skin off ones back when taking responsibility. It's a great fortune when we as women (and men) learn such a triumphant paradigm shift.

All of my chatterings also brought me to an exciting topic to rattle about and share on the perspective of manifesting. I'm a simple woman when it pertains to many aspects; personifying is one of those. However, I believe there are more straightforward demonstrations when we desire such things for our precious lives. Unfortunately, the new spiritual realm has become a dreadful debacle with too many harsh measures, and I plan to create a shift with my nonfiction book “The Little Mermaid’s Transformational Tale” to be released next year.

Whilst I have you here, I have a significant announcement. If you recalled, a month or so ago, I spoke of how I was manifesting rapid growth and going viral on my Instagram account. Before you speedily scatter to see if it's happened yet, in regards to the viral aspect, no (not as of today), however, it's nigh at hand, I assure you. I'm living in the end. In New Thought, you are aware of Florence Scovill Shinn if you know of the Victorian greats. She wrote many books, but one of my favourites is The Game of Life and How To Play It, and in it, she speaks of birds before land. This is a simple illustration for manifesting. We will begin receiving spiritual signs that our manifestation is undoubtedly on its way. Last week I had birds before land occurs on my Instagram. I’ve spoken many o’ times about staying sat at 67 followers after I began another new account on Instagram, which was probably my sixth or seventh time opening a new Instagram account. (Steady on, don't flee quite yet, what I've got to say is essential in all aspects of our life, I'm simply using Instagram, for example.)
Well, and sound, I am a new person since then, and I wasn't going to use old buried bones for a new pup. I meant I would manifest my complete desire; a massive community of like-minded souls on Instagram. You might think this is trite and what’s the point of it all, and if you do, oh ye of little faith. For nearly two years, I stayed sat at 67 followers virtually two years. One might ask why such a lack of growth when there are so many strategies to be had? I've told you many times on this here ol’ blog why I had such resistance with Instagram in particular. I've determined to demonstrate straight forward out in the open what happens on a psychological scale with every aspect of our lives, including a trivial thing such as social media/Instagram. This topic is a demonstration, all be it Instagram, but this is what human folks commit to with their desires, dreams and lives. My attempt is for you to dive to the deep end with me and understand where our difficulties or unmet desires stem from and how to manoeuvre through them. This post, if you’ll read and take in the nutritional fortitude, will swim away from the possession of being a more understanding person. I keep telling you this, and if no one listens, I’ll tell it to the four walls. It makes no difference to me. I'm observing apples when most are observing oranges. Don't you mind it’ll pay me big dividends?

Almost all successful people play the long game, whereas most want instant gratification. “I am the cat that walks by himself, and all places are alike to me...” Do you remember Matthew from Downton Abbey saying that to Mary when he wielded a wheelchair?

Yes, I chatter, and that's why you adore me. (smile)

Allow me to commence with the Instagram story. I went up a few hundred in followers within a few days, and my blog page views went up enormously. My stats showed I am now getting nearly 10,000 pageviews A DAY instead of a month total as previously. For a blogger that began again (a new blog) just a few short years ago with no added effort or help is excellent news! Do you know why this is occurring? Because I've been manifesting it to appear. The world bangs on as if things arise, and it's so subtle it seems that it would've happened anyway, and that is pure nonsense. Every single human being possesses the manifestations of their thoughts. Make no bones about it. Now might I add that my Instagram has not (as of yet) gone viral, but IT WILL! I have not one doubt. I am persistent in my ability to know I create every single solitary thing in my world. I am that powerful. YOU are that powerful, and if I write till my fingers fall off, you'll eventually take it to heart. I intend it, and therefore, it is done, and that's flat!

Would you like to follow me on Instagram? It's quite satisfying. I'm especially fond of IG stories.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

The Becoming Of A Graceful Victorian Lady

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

"One must admire a man who dares to call it the way he sees it – even though his shortcomings may be the well-spring of his insight and wisdom.”~Mark Twain

The word becoming is a word I'm especially fond of as it demonstrates the method of something happening over time just as a continuous flow of water etches out the pathway of a boulder in the stream. I suppose I find speaking on womanhood, femininity, women inspiring women, housewife, motherhood, farming, artistry, authorship self-development and the likes, if I'm honest, quite exhilarating. For many years, I felt alone in my process. I've had moments of feeling disconnect from other women, and I heard it said once that what we struggle with ourselves is undoubtedly an accurate indication of our soul life’s purpose. Oh my, I wholly agree with that statement. I know I've found my lot, so that's something. As the years have wained, I know so many o
ther dear women very much like me. The isolation, I'm sure, came at the start of giving birth to a lack of love for myself and limiting mindset beliefs aplenty. I have found that anything worth value at all rarely comes without a price.

I’ve been posting lovely small summaries on my Instagram feed of what prevails upon my mind to speak on becoming the woman I am today and the woman I continue to evolve into, which is sure to be a constant voyage for me no end. I look forward to it with enthusiasm; however, there is a tiny bit of discussion I’d like to speak about again regarding how I live daily. It never tires when frequently asked about my apparel, which is average at least three times daily when I’m at shoppes, market or about the village. A fortnight ago, twice, I was asked for my photograph to be taken. It is such a welcoming and delightful notion that the majority of my compliments stem from gentlemen. Women compliment me, but it never fails to twist the magic when nearly all males respect me with doting favour. My beloved gardener is such a dear soul and says it’s because of my stunning beauty by comparison, but I honestly think it’s because of my dress. And indeed, how could I find fault in my dear husband for being so fond of me? I shan’t think so, not for a moment. I manifested those sentiments early on, and they continue to display themselves in constant readiness.

I can’t nor would I state that I’ve always displayed myself with such grace, reserve and politeness, for I have not. I fully admit to losing my grip many times, and quite frankly, I’m not always one to hold my tongue. I’m instead a jumbled mess at times, and I’m sure on my voyage of true north, there are sure to be more days similarly. However, I am a human being and not a robotic stepford wife. I’m not ashamed of it neither. It reminds me of Tasha Tudors' quote where she quotes the famous author Mark Twain as she equates herself to the moon.

“Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anyone.”~Mark Twain
I should like to speak more extensively about holding space for ourselves as women, allowing others to be who and what they are without the emotion of alienation, and remaining steadfast in remembering that most of the Instagram feeds are not factual for many women, simply a scant glimpse. If we can respect women regardless of their subjective agendas, listen intuitively to our hearts, and remain splendid. Comparing with another (most especially on Instagram, where it seems to be quite prevalent) is simply a sign that there's internal work that must be rectified by women, most especially mothers with daughters. This notion is paramount in raising healthy-minded children/ girls, especially girls who become women that will give birth to children themselves. Mothers are essential in rearing confident, free-thinking human beings. I've known women who use the block button on Instagram like a remote control to their television. I wish to speak on this topic repeatedly as many avoid this as a viable subject worth approaching. It reminds me that there is a space for it in this big ole blue marble. For change to occur in the individual woman, we as women collectively must continue to broach the hard and avoided conversations.
There is a significant prevalence of comparison and an impulse to blocking folks on Instagram. I was in the thick of performing research for my book and decided to ask six of my close friends if they would participate in a kind of test for Instagram. What I found was stunning and familiar in every one of these women (who might I add they knew not of one another) is they all had similar feelings about Instagram. I learned many things that will be extensively written about in my book, which will be released next year, but I wanted to share a tiny conclusion. The women who were in the early stages of their transformation of enlightenment had less concerns in their emotional scale related to passive-aggressiveness. All six women carried similar trauma in feeling a lack of freedom, control and authority. I found that women who lack mental power, discipline, and a resounding tolerance for others (because they don't possess the patience for themselves) are most frequent in using the block button technique. Might you view it from this perspective? When someone blocks another, it's not anything to you nor I personally; it's that these individuals haven't found another way of accepting themselves. We most often (if we are the ones on the receiving end of being blocked) have tapped in on the individuals deeply rooted insecurities, causing a trigger to fire within the part of the brain that deciphers the act of whether to fight or flight. The stimulus is discomforting, an instinctual act of survival that invariably is used as a mechanism for dealing with lifes obstacles. It is sure to bubble up in another area of their life. Instead of accepting their lot and being responsible for their reality, they remain victims of their untamed mind. Their resistance to taking accountability for their displeasure is avoided by blocking said person/s. It may be so for a moment but not long-standing. What we resist persists. Dis-ease in mind creates disease in the body. One would do themselves an excellent service if they would uproot the emerging issue, stitch it up and let it heal. This (blocking method) has revealed quite a bit in the field of psychology, and I've found it to be fascinating. Don't take things personally. I hold out hope and healing space for those struggling by sending love unfeigned.

I will bang about this subject until a revolution occurs, for indeed it's springing forth at once. I see the unfolding of it around the bend. The new way to approach life will be a resounding push for authenticity, especially on Instagram. I've seen it play out.
{I weakened and bought a sheet set from ye olde stock shop Walmart, chucked in a scant of chambray blue dye and went to stitching in an attempt to accomplish an extra workday dress. I am chuffed to bits and deserve the word of achievement.

I determined to experiment with economical cotton, so if it was an epic fail, I wasn't out a few hundred quid having disembowelled my Victorian reproduction notions.} 

Do you approve of my efforts?

If you have ever experienced this distinct predicament, here are a few things to tick off to see if there's a matter you might be ignoring within that might do you favourably to latch on and dissolve. Only once we've admitted to something can we begin the process of healing. 

Go through your list of folks on four feed and unfollow those that do not bring value to the new distinctive version of you.

If you have folks blocked, unblock them and feel yourself at that moment. Does it evoke emotion within you? If so, acknowledge the spur they set off, receive the feeling and allow it to pass through you. Often it's merely permitting the emotion to flow through instead of resisting the aspect that feels uneasy. 

And lastly, if you aren't ready to unblock those you're resisting, that’s okay; be easy with yourself, and perhaps come back to the subject another day when you’re feeling mightier in tackling your fears and insecurities. We’re all in this together. I love you each. 

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

The Curious Mind of Raquel Carter {My Patreon Supported Series}

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

If you've been swimming along on my Instagram, you well know we have a real atmosphere taking its turn about for my Patreon supported series that will debut on June 8th.

I've been absent here on the blog as I'm in the depths of creating the series all by my little mermaid self, so there are many tasks to be accomplished. 

In the first episode of The Curious Mind of Raquel Carter, I'm going to take a stab at making a Victorian mermaid-inspired antique seed box along with seed packets and garden stakes. I hope you'll join me on June 8th, when the first episode will air. The information and how to join is to the right on my side panel. Tick your calendars! It's sure to be a jubilee! I chose the date to debut the first episode on Sawyer’s birthday. 

When creating my series, I will be using as many tools, devices and accoutrements as humanly possible that a Victorian woman would have demonstrated in the 19th century. There will always be a secret component quite tastefully displayed of mermaids enveloped into each episode. I'm thrilled to bits about this series; it's been quite the task behind the scenes labour but such fun! Indeed everything in life worth a hill of beans has a bit of work involved, yes?

How I Develop My Children’s Story Books

Friday, April 23, 2021
"I own a delightfully well-behaved rabbit, and I am very fond of books and have learned nearly everything that I know from them. However, of all the things books haven't taught me, I learned from Sir Oliver Twisty Topsy." ~Raquel M. Carter
The wind blew as heartily as ever, and once again, I felt the need to leap without care. So I got on and popped over to my favourite spot for contemplation. I didn't linger in my first jaunt for some justification as I knew this was not where I belonged. I was being led somewhere else, but where I knew not.

I had tucked my hair using kirby grips and placed my shell hat pin quite properly, clutched my basket with moleskin diary and fountain pen in hand and dashed off in pursuit of my fate to my following spot. I have had the spiritual nudge to contact a dear ol’ aunt and gather stories about my lovely cousin who passed away many moons ago. I have had the title of a storybook (The Tale of Sybrena Ewe), coupled with a few scant ideas; however, that is all I've come to write on that particular manuscript. It's about a darling little ewe who has a flurry for cleaning and making her cherished cottage the heart of a great matter. As with all of my stories, there's a promise in each one of them to deliver the goods of a lovely spiritual significance for you, the dear reader. 

These kind of moments are undoubtedly infinite intelligence whispering through the pines into my bygone sea siren soul. I know these moments pine away at me for just cause. If I stay sat, I'll uncover the treasured gem, for I know one's ship comes in over a calm sea.

This is the place I found just a scant ways from my folks at Carter Cottage. This victorian barn is the setting/home on the farm for Sawyer lamb and Johnny Lamb before being sent off on their adventure by Mrs Trotters.  

The interesting feature is that I originally began my little trip to the woods to gain an idea for The Tale of Sybrena Ewe but was led to find the setting for The Tale of Sawyer Lamb. Isn't that beguiling?

I dashed home like a dose of salts and began sketching. You see, I have had the manuscript for (The Tale of Sawyer Lamb) written for quite some time; {when Sawyer passed, I immediately began writing and composed it within four hours}, but whenever I would attempt the illustrations, I felt dead in the water. Until most recently, the ideas continue to flood in. I feel as though my ship has indeed come in and my treasure trove of illustration luck are ever-present.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

Rabbits, Gardens And Not So Penny Dreadful News

Monday, April 12, 2021

“Rabbits and gardens go together like springtime and rain showers, like seasides and mermaids.”

(An excerpt from my manuscript “The Little Mermaid's Transformational Tale.”) 

I shall say I'm having such a fun time creating and erecting our little Scarlette Rose Cottage. It's sure to be quite magnificent. It shall rain down a bit of sadness when we move to our forever home; however, I know everything is working silently and accordingly towards the great matter. 

On the first day of spring, my beloved gardener and I dashed through the gardens like a dose of salts. We've planted, transplanted, propagated seeds atop the usual accomplishments of a small potager and farm. I've mended chicken perches, tidied up the coop and run, laid fresh hay and set up the enclosure with essential oils to keep the chickens healthy and happy. Henny Penny has been rather ill for a time now, and I have yet to make the decision of having her put to sleep. I continue to grind rosemary in the mortar and pestle and put it into her food to ease her burden of pain. 

I've been actively working on my first introductory video for my Patreon series and tossing together the intro for the series. I'll be so lucky if I finish up and haven't worked myself into an early grave. I'm incredibly excited to finally get on with this excellent idea I've had for some time now. And although it didn't quite seem to work itself out until recently, I've learned to understand things come about at precisely the accurate times. It's quite charming how if I am fortunate enough to mind my manners and let items take hold all on their own, it'll be something to record in the books. It's so fantastic, and I am having such fun sharing the process on my wee little Instagram stories of all the little expeditions in creating The Carter Settlement bequest. I think most enjoy watching the process. Whereas the first few days there wasn't much participation, it has now become one of daily excitement by ‘my friends’ (as I like to call followers.) I believe the one creating such an element must first prevail in restorative enjoyment, a slow-living environment and a sense of placidness. There's something quite extraordinary about an affair of new adventures around the bend. I'm not making too much of it in the mind that I'm learning (still learning) to have fun and not set myself up for disappointment. So I feel that if I enjoy the journey and be straightforward about it, I'll have a much more excellent feel, and my excitement of mood will carry me through.

In my first episode, which I've not inferred the release date yet, I will explain what I'm doing straight away. If you're a longtime reader here, you know what the Carter Settlement is; a recreating of a victorian english countryside establishment erected with little shoppes, themed cottages of my book characters, gardens, a place where one will eventually visit and take a class, attend a small gathering, or learn how to do all sorts of homemaking self-sufficient accomplishments, etc. It is sure to be something of only fairytales are made. I am genuinely practising on Scarlette Rose Cottage, which will, in the end, be a charming little cottage for my folks. I plan to continue the vision at Jeffrey Shawn and my forever home. The reason for us beginning at my folks' house is that I wanted to get on with enjoying my life. We never quite know the forks in our paths, and after losing Sawyer, I've not ever wanted to put off living a dream based on a circumstance. Life is too quick, and the idea of wasting away precious time is nonsensical in my eyes and my heart. I know all of my attributions will compensate me tenfold. 

My first episode is about creating a victorian seedbox (with a secret mermaid twist) and how I made my seed packets and garden markers. I will share the printables (pdf) for the seed packets for my Patrons. I hope you'll get excited about this new voyage I've taken. The Carter Settlement is sure to be very exciting, especially if you enjoy watching something take hold in reality. I know i enjoy a bit of entertainment coupled with inspiration, knowledge and imagination. Who wouldn't love watching the creative process of erecting a victorian english countryside bequest? I know I'd take it like a shot! With little thatched-roofed cottages, farm animals, english gardens, crafts, building stone walls and all the sorts of how to make our dreams culminate. If you’d like to join Patreon, I'd love to have you. We're sure to make it a whale of a time! 

Our meals as of late have been easy affairs. I'm not much on elaborate repasts whereupon I'm in the heart of an enormous undertaking. So most nights, it's a reasonable supper such as Henny Penny Buttermilk biscuits, bacon, grits and eggs. Foods often don't appeal to me, provided I'm taken up with preoccupations of a delightful endeavour.

I can indeed feel a rise in my spirit, and I know I'm becoming an even more aligned person. I have come to recognise that my Mermaid Inner Being is going through another growth spurt. I continue to meditate and affirm beautiful mantras that make me feel wonderful.

At the weekend, my beloved gardener and I tore down more fencing to finish up the cottage floors. If you've seen my stories, you saw the videos of the brick hearth and the wood flooring. It looks beautiful thus far. 

Have a lovely day, and I will visit with you tomorrow. If you feel inclined, I would love to have you follow my stories on Instagram. I keep you abreast of everything I'm managing.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx 

The 21st Century Tasha Tudor With A Victorian Soul

Tuesday, April 6, 2021
“The further a society drifts away from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it.”

Tasha Tudor kept her opinions about religion to herself. She was incredibly forward-thinking, and she wasn't the kind of woman many perceive her to be. She was a kind, gentle woman and a very matter of fact person and had buckets of tenacity. I suppose that's why I like her so much. People automatically assume I'm a religious person because of how I dress. I believe that was the case with Tasha Tudor as well. I have created new assumptions, but there was a time whenever I went out and about, I was frequently asked if I was Amish or they assumed I was religious and invited me to their church. Nowadays, I find it complementary and move along. I don't get upset or offended because I love folks, especially women in religion. That is called massive growth, my friends. I have a soft spot for them {smile}. Many Christians are the loveliest of people, and I hold many nearest and dearest to my heart.

My mum and I were having a chat over our tea yesterday morning, and she asked my opinion on a  religious topic. She was also asked this same question she posed to me by a family member, and then given my mums answer, they disagreed with one another. I wasn't in on their conversation. But let's say it became hot in the kitchen with those two. 

I, however, agreed with my family member. I share this because this happens when folks have strong beliefs tied to an insecure faith in themselves. It boils up,  explodes, a fight breaks out, causing a pissing match between family. No, that didn't happen with my mum and I {the pissing match part} because I've learned a bit about speaking on religion, what I believe, and my family respects me and my beliefs. They might disagree, but they know not to say anything to me. We have a mutual understanding. I will never back down from a question {if asked my opinion}, but I refuse to engage in a plot to take me down vibrationally. Like I've stated many times, that never happens nowadays as the old Raquel died a few years back.

I have learned to channel my energy and beliefs into learning for myself. I no longer give my opinions to others {out of the blue}, but if I'm asked about something, expect fully, and indeed, I won't hold my tongue. If folks want to know what I believe, they can read my blog or my books. It's for others to work out their salvation, not to start a debate. I say this is because as well-intended as folks are, if you aren't mentally strong enough, you'll be sucked in from old conditioning, sure-fire. I enjoy speaking about what I believe, and even although I'm no longer religious, I'm also not an atheist. I believe in higher consciousness (some call God, Jesus, universe, spirit, etc.). Everyone has a name for their deity. Heck, I will often refer to Sawyer as deity because he's now a sum of the whole part (if you will.)

When we are able to have self-respect for others, it's because we have deep respect for ourselves. I'm a huge advocate of self-respect. I'm not here to coerce others to believe me and what I think; I'm here to live my divine purpose, and those called will hear me. That's my concern. A few years ago, when folks would ask my opinion on religion, and I didn't give them the answer they wanted, they would become upset. It became a ghastly debacle. I understand that now on a much more precise level. It's normal for humans to bond over sameness, and many times religious folks are deeply fearful of standing alone in their truth. They find comfort in groups, and the reason for this is because they don't know what they believe when it's broken down. Or it's a habit to continue on and never question something that no longer resonates nor serves them. And look, this is all okay and fantastic. When I had a dreadful self-concept, I struggled deeply with this, but now that I've realised what I am, I am excited to see my mum and family members on their spiritual voyage. We're all on a journey, and all the journeys are uniquely wonderful and lovely. Diversity encourages change; hearing opinions also creates expansion, and that's why we are here. We are all one in unison with a collective purpose.

My mum is still very much a religious person, and I'm afraid I have to disagree with many things that my mother agrees on, and she's fully aware of that notion. She loves me, and I love her to bits. My point to be made is that you must become immovable, and your feelings must become unhurtable. When you live in your truth, you will boldly speak it. No one can shake you, not ever. This is why so many folks shift to and fro with their opinions. They do not have a strong foundation of who they are; deeply. However, I want to encourage and not discourage. It's just a matter of creating wonderful self-concept affirmations, and after perseverance of these new thoughts {which turn into beliefs}, we will all be robust and immovable landlocked humans.

“I dwell in optimism.” ~Raquel Carter