Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Darling, It's All In Your Head And My Epiphany For The Tale Of Sawyer Lamb


Firstly, dear hearts, allow me to embark and perform a bit of housekeeping by saying how appreciative I am for your friendships that I have engendered here on my blog. Of course, I am finely aware we have not met in person; however, I feel a sincere fondness and look upon you each as actual friends.


When my dear son (Sawyer) departed, and I went through my bereavement, I developed such loving friends who budded in intimacy here on this small snippet of the befangled interweb. When I had my conundrum with my British friend Tracy, I shared with a relation of my struggle of how, unfortunate; she chose to remove herself as a friend (which remains me unaware and befuddled as to why she unfriended me); they said to me, "who cares, Raquel? You don't know those folks reading your blog or on Instagram; good riddance." I beg to differ. I said, " Oh no, I feel very close to those on Instagram and who read my blog. I consider them my friends.


I have some exhilarating news. I am releasing my two books (hardbacks), The Tale of Sawyer Lamb and The Tale of the Christmas Bunnies, on November 25, 2022. I have been feverishly toiling away at illustrations for Sawyer's book; next week, I will begin painting both books of drawings. I also plan to release a book a month forthwith.


After several years of emotionally remaining on the hamster wheel, my daylight thoughts were no longer washing away my night thoughts. I felt I was losing my faculties, so I petitioned the universe to send an answer to assist me. If I were hindering my personal growth of success (pride goeth before the fall), I desired the solution. That exact intention is what I gave birth to a fortnight ago. I knew intuitively I was keeping myself from progressing, yet I did not know how to unlock it. I was not allowing for advancement, and I understood that perhaps my strategy must also pivot. This next portion of the story is about how the universe works. I've known and have loved Russ (the rap artist) for many years. (In fact, Sawyer and I loved his work. I remember Sawyer would study his strategies for success in the music industry.) However, I do not follow celebrities on my Instagram platform or spend too much time on the app. Yet, last week Instagram algorithm suggested a reel of Russ speaking about positivity and self-worth, so I clicked on his account and learned that he had in his highlight section a book he wrote. I immediately bought it because I knew it must be positive; I enjoy supporting independent artists. I read the book in less than 40 minutes (it's an easy but profound book) and then read it twice further. I highly recommend Russ's book if you want a little grit in your literary diet. It's All in Your Head by Russ, and a few lightbulb moments went off, and I instantly felt enlightened that was the answer to my earlier intention that I had sent out into the universe. I wish to share the mermaid secrets revealed, and you might benefit at some juncture down the lane.


In the last fortnight, I have been self-reflecting my view on my circumstances as an author/ artist, and why my success has not erupted to the degree, I foresee. It has not been for lack of enjoying the process or my work ethic. The work determined resilience never has nor will ever be my dilemma, so I knew it had to be something I wasn't recognising. I am endlessly in love with my craft, which will never change. However, I realised I was also aimless and reluctant to send Sawyer's book into the world. I began to notice I would feel quite vexed when I progressed to the book's completion and then would become highly fatigued. As I am known to do (ask any of my relations), I conducted internal self-concept work to uncover my hesitancy.


I then allowed the waves of spirit to guide me after making my intention with a deep desire to be a vessel for bringing forth good and healing into the world. This desire is my life purpose as an author and artist, and I know this truth deep within my core. I am kind-hearted to myself as I know I needed a soft place to land while grieving my son's death. However, I am so profoundly determined and fueled to create a legacy for my son and the world over I will not let anything prevent me from vast success to be a force for good which I desire to linger in this world long after my departure. If needs be, I will plough the door down with my success in authorship.


Jeffrey Shawn and I have benefited from living with my folks, and they, in return, also profited, although intuitively, I feel the cycle is dropping anchor to a close for Jeffrey and me. We will be on madcap adventures in the new year. It's not always best to reveal one's circumstances, yet, I am very accessible when it pertains to sharing mermaid secrets in the sand if I feel my conscious prompts me, which, let us admit, I'm one to be spurred on at frequency.


In all earnestness, I share the start, middle and (eventually the end) because not many folks discover a voyage reference in life for achieving their success. It's as though many cloak their methods in vaults which does no favour for those labouring away at their dreams. When someone does not have a reference raft to seize hold, it will require lengthier intervals. I feel it a travesty to withhold secrets to success. It's similar to many very acclaimed celebrities who possess vast platforms, and they do nothing with them to make the world a better place. I want to question their motives, as they seem to be self-serving and ultimately worthless if we're speaking long-term in leaving a footprint of expansion and progress in a positive way.

Allow me the opportunity to share a few particulars I discovered about myself after reading Russ's book for the third time. Before I got on, I felt inspired by how Russ used each chapter of his book with a song title, so in a fashionable way, as Austin Kleon would say of Steal Like an Artist; I think I will do similar but use my book titles for my self-help book coming out next year. In part two, Persistence, Pull the Trigger, Russ speaks on hesitation (move with purpose), and behind hesitancy is fear. Upon reading the line in the book, I felt somewhat gobsmacked, as I wouldn't have thought myself in possession of even an ounce of fear. After reading that text over three times, it popped off of the pages as if illumination in fluorescent light. I am transparent and truthful with myself and confidently aware when the truth is staring me square in the eyes. I then, at that moment, realised, indeed, I was fearful of releasing Sawyer's book into the world as I had such deep sentiments tethered to his beautiful book.


I want it to help multitudes of people, and if that did not happen (it's all in my head), the prospect rendered me frozen in fear, and I would be gravely disappointed. I have grief, healing, pain, happiness, joy, and hope tied into his book. Each time I thought about releasing it, I felt loss and apprehension. In my head, It was as if I were letting go of my son, and that sentiment in my craw seemed unbearable to swallow. I know you can understand my sensations if you've ever lost a child. I also realised I have the personal capability to decide what definitions I am applying to each scenario in my life. Russ often states in his book; It's All in Your (my) Head. The first was my hesitation; the second bit of profundity is the journey and bounce back in Part three. I define success as knowing that my success is renewable; it's not a matter of IF my work is successful; it is a matter of WHEN it is successful. The details of how I will give rise to success are not my concern but the universe's. Among the many feathers in my cap is that I am a mindset coach, yet frequently when one is so into their vocation, they can miss the message for themselves. Often one cannot see the forest for the trees.


I can pinpoint every individual's difficulty I've ever worked with, but it is unknown when I attempt such declarations for myself. Zoë Kennedy told me when I read The Tale of Sawyer Lamb manuscript to her, my book helped her more than anything ever had, and that makes it all worth it; I've done my bit. The witty notion is that I did know that intellectually but perhaps not profoundly believe it at the time; nonetheless, today, with a fresh perspective, I do, at my core, know it without an ounce of doubt. The truth universally fixed in manifestation is to get out of our own way. Too often (and in a few distinct areas of my life), I have enormous resistance, and I can beat myself about the head by remaining in the way of the universe. If I can not let go and allow things, I am the one keeping myself from my dreams. Most often, folks push forward by trying to hammer a round peg into a square wooden hole. 


To live in a state of urgency is something I know well. After losing Sawyer, I understood that nothing or anyone is definitive, and I do not take anything for granted. To remain untethered in how we feel things should evolve is a complicated matter for humans. One must remain faithful and know without a doubt that; what we are diligently toiling away at IS at hand. Reminding oneself it will occur today, and if not today, tomorrow. There is no weighing that course; it is a matter of time. I keep no room in my mind for maybe.


One bit of debilitation is when a person self-talks by repeating, "I am going to do so and so." The word "going to" will perpetually keep one's dreams outside of achievement. I console myself with waiting because I want so much for my book to help millions of folks. However, that won't happen if I sit on the story and do not release it. So today, I got out of my way. I can now pass on the temptations to put off and override to the quiet calm without further loss of time. 



Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

Friday, October 14, 2022

A Brilliant Manifesting Story And My Love Of Laura Ingalls Wilder

I had the entirety of a post of over three thousand words written for you, my dear lovely friends, and lost the totality. When I realised there wasn't a cat's chance in hell without claws of finding it, I must admit I got the morbs for a moment. However, I now feel sufficient, so let me get on with the post.

First, allow me to share a lovely manifesting story. I have thousands; however, it is very tricky to share all of them. Yet, I think you would like to hear the one about my daughter Zoë Kennedy. Zoë Kennedy rang me a week ago and asked if I would manifest for her. As a child, I took her to The Phantom of the Opera in Orlando, Florida, and she loved it so much it created an affinity for the broadway musical, and she eternally wished to go to the one in New York City. In February of 2023, the musical will end permanently, embarking on Zoë Kennedy to see it beforehand. Unfortunately, she had no financial means of getting opera tickets, airfare or lodgings. So, I said I would manifest for her, we hung up the phone, and I performed the visual technique before state akin to sleep I use from Neville Goddard. 

The manifestation took a week to materialise. Zoë Kennedy called me last Friday and said she was gifted round-trip airline tickets to New York, two tickets front row mezzanine to Phantom of the Opera and that she and Ethan's friends that live in New York invited them to crash at their flat for free for their week's visit. She said, "Mummy, thank you so much; you're magical!" She was so excited, and I am thrilled for her in turn! I love hearing success stories when I manifest for others. It thrills me. It costs nothing and is available to everyone to create their reality. 

I was a late bloomer growing up. However, when it concerns my love of Laura Ingall's Wilder, there is no question I have an immense fondness for her. As many of you know who've remained avid readers of my blog know, I grew up with two parents in the home. My father stayed in a constant state of slosh til I was eleven (No worries we’re very good now). My devoutly religious mum was a stay-at-home mother. I have no complaints; my mother sheltered me to the degree that she kept my siblings and me in church three times a week and two solid weeks when there were revivals and church activities. (Of course, as you know, I was Pentecostal until seventeen and later became a Mormon until I left theology altogether at forty-three.) 

My mum, a stay-at-home mother, was rather keen on us children being very smart, which meant reading was essential. So when I was young, I looked forward to the book fair order forms. Do you remember them? Before the fair even happened, the excitement commenced with the order forms. I would scour over it for hours, dreaming of all the books I wished to order. I would mark them in pencil at first, then in pen. Money in our home was plentiful at times and meagre at others, depending on spending habits that month. I believe many folks come from backgrounds that were not episodes of Little House on the Prairie having fathers like Pa. Perhaps that was the appeal as a little girl.

My father was in the home during my youth; however, he wasn't an emotional role model; in truth, I developed trust and men issues that would expand considerably for decades. In many ways, I raised my children with similar functions. The female figures (mothers) I remember being raised amongst were not respected, including my mother. The men ruled the roost. Today my independence and desire to be a powerful force in the female facet of this generational society is highly due to feeling downtrodden. My standpoint on ladies' value, being adored and respected, is vital. One shan't get it contorted; I find the role of a man in society (and in the home) quite significant too, yet there is no one above or below; we are all one. Men have their place, as does woman. They both work beautifully together when on equal footing. Many parents in the seventies (when I grew up), I believe, tried their best and were well-intended; that's all I can hope for, and I will continue onward. I refuse to reference my circumstances as perpetuating grim stories of my lot unless diving to depths of understanding and presenting logic facilitates growth. Too often, that state of woe is when too much emphasis is placed on victimhood memorialising. 

To try and fill in the backstory about Laura Ingalls Wilder, I'll have to take you back to when the fixation first began. I've spoken briefly in other posts about my neighbours from childhood that lived down the lane. They lived as close to the little house on the Prairie in real life, not by their desire to live old-fashioned. I know it was their poor mindset mentality, yet I never viewed them in that manner. I loved the sentiments when I'd feed (wood they cut themselves) Kate's 19th-century stove. They didn't have indoor plumbing; instead, they had an outhouse, gardens, a stream for water sources, fruit trees, and farm animals. I didn't particularly appreciate watching the slaughtering of the pigs or killing the chickens; however, knowing how food was obtained created newfound respect for it. I know it's a part of real life; however, i am a sentimental fool and wholly sensitive. As I would make my way to my neighbours nearly every day, I would also look forward to watching Little House on the Prairie. I was not only fascinated with the storylines, but I was more intrigued by intentionally focusing on the little house and barn, how they dressed and what everything looked like as a whole. I was enamoured with it, obsessed. I checked out the entire series of books, and as soon as I read through them, I continued that strategy over and over. I then began mimicking Laura; the schoolchildren thought I was mad, though I didn't care. I've always held a disposition of heaped delusional confidence. 

I would surround myself as much as possible (mainly my clothing) by emulating that historical aspect through my junior high school days. i recall my friend Cindi (she was very modern, and the boys were quite fond of her) said to me often, "Raquel, you need a makeover. You're such a pretty girl, but you wear those old clothes so no one can see how attractive you are." 

I never cared she said that; in junior high, however, I succumbed to the peer pressure when my cousin (who was much older than me) said I needed to get with the times and going into high school, I needed a fresh new look. I surrendered. Often surrendering occurs in youth because insecure youth want to fit in; I wasn't secure enough to stave off the new school and loads of teenagers, nor did I want to be rejected. I yielded. I would teleport into Laura Ingalls's ways for decades in and out, trying to return to that feeling when a little girl but never gaining much footing. I was constantly battling my true self and what I loved and felt comfortable with for many years.

I didn't have the luxury of having a mate that supported my fondness for nostalgia, olde timey ways, antiques or history. I was ridiculed for it if you want the truth. I look back and honestly feel it was a cloaked structure of vitriol. Mistreatment can be masked for lengthy periods when physically concealed; it's the subtle behind-closed doors of continuous verbal poking. In hindsight, I justified the abuse because he wasn't outright punching me; I assumed there was no abuse. I had seen my father abuse; that was no question. However, it took on a different appearance as an adult. When I began to question such matters, I repeatedly heard I was mentally ill, crazy and needed help. My family has a history of mental illness. That truth was weaponised against me. I am very far from mad.

My apologies; this is not a victimhood post, yet I wanted to catch you up with my past life and where I came from and to make you aware I am not ashamed. The truth sets a person free, and when one remains vulnerable, there are no defences. No defences, and no one ever will possess an advantage of leverage. I live by this truth well-fixed.

I have not an ounce of animosity towards those that have been unfortunately unhealthy to me; I am Indifferent, life is, and I know the universe has a karmic vindication debt of retribution. I believe greatly in the boomerang effect. Let's end this post with the inclination that on any given day, I wouldn't fancy them an invite to tea. 

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

The Art Of Making The Mundane Delightfully Extraordinary

Good day, dear hearts, 

I shall intentionally attempt to make the mundane delightfully extraordinary. After all, the simple measures make our cottage core lives so wonderfully joyful, do you not agree? 

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

The Art of Setting a New Precedence And How Homemakers May Enrich Their Spiritual Path By Living An Olde Fashioned Lifestyle


Over the past thirty-two years, I have always joyously discovered the answers to my inquisitive nature in homemaking books and magazines from another time. In the olden days, nurturing a family and pursuing the domestic arts—cooking, decorating, and handicrafts was always a woman's most rewarding achievement and never considered second-rate burdens. In addition, I constantly felt a gnawing at the teeth, an internal question of why deep within my soul (what was then the Christian aspect of me) as though my well was in constant need of refilling. My well was prone to drying up no matter how much I laboured to be the best I could be. I would feel high as if my well runneth over, but the sentiments would always wither. My dear friends and readers, I could not make sense of it. I see this now with so many women, and it's quite unfortunate because they believe I mean to do evil when I am only here to do goodwill. Why did a woman of "God" have to work so entirely hard to be happy when I was living the best I knew that was humanly conceivable? This perpetual imbalance would deepen for decades until I became profoundly dedicated to uncovering the secrets of man's/woman's purpose. It may sound highly far-fetched to clamour that after my endeavour, I found the absolute truth. So it was in 2014 when my spiritual transformation commenced. Then another extraordinary moment took place when my son died. I went on a quest that no man under the sun would stop until I came out the other side with answers. The murder of a precious child will do that to a mother. 

Friday, August 26, 2022

Let Us Halt In The Manner Of Boundary Chatter

A few days ago, I placed a reel on my Instagram feed. I was calling health and wellness coaches to the carpet for the constant way they express that one must set boundaries for the toxic. I feel many spread the erroneous portrayal and arrange complications so that everyone outside of themselves (clients) is the matter in question. The notion that clarifying dividing lines with others implies the problematic issues are with everyone other than self.  

Monday, August 22, 2022

Don't Be So Hasty, Dear; It Doesn't Suit You


Good morning my fruits, 

I have some of the most wonderful news I am nipping at the bit to impart. However, it must keep a bit longer. It is life-changing and most miraculous. Yet, that is not why I've been vacant. I'm preparing many bits and bobs, one of which consists of sewing numerous new clothes to fill up my Victorian wardrobe. A few defining items I am creating are an exceptional corset, two corset covers, two petticoats and two pairs of bloomers. In addition, I purchased a new pair of stockings, silk and cotton twist and a cube of wax from Burnley and Trowbridge & Co.

Monday, July 25, 2022

The Pot Calling The Kettle Black



{The Pot Calling The Kettle Black- Something you say that means people should not criticise someone else for a fault they have themselves.}


"Bless your enemy, and you rob him of his ammunition. His arrows will transmute into blessings." ~Florence Scovel Shinn

Thursday, July 14, 2022

Advancing Towards The Past, A Wee Bit Of My Cottage Core Life In The 19th Century

Our Portrayal Of Victorian Life: Recreating A Cottage Core Life From The 19th Century One Step At A Time Series: Scale (Part) I



​"A woman may sit in her quiet room, and, by her love, that brightens the homes of earth, and her faith, that lifts human hearts to the hope of their heavenly home, she may send out influences that will not only make the world better and happier but also help it to rise upward in its onward progress."

—Sarah Josepha Hale, 1866



Hello, dear hearts,

I thought that before I tick off this series, you may want to watch the video I created on ye olde YouTube, where I prattled about aspects of The Carter Settlement, my portrayal of Victorian life and what is undoubtedly many of the reasons for my desire to live in the 19th century. 


I thought perhaps, in my ambition to demonstrate my course of action in words, I would toss out the numerous inquiries I receive from women and then answer them from my perspective. So let me get on, darlings. 


I am under the impression you're not new here; however, if you are, I speak about the cottage core/olde fashioned lifestyle at nausea some might crack. In my bid to disembowel such aspects, I will express in-depth what cottage core is and give a depiction because many are under misguided understanding. Cottage Core has been around for centuries and means many different things to women. In a nutshell I swiped a snippet from the interweb. Cottagecore is a fashion aesthetic popularised by teenagers and young adults celebrating an idealised rural life. Traditionally based on rural English and European life, it was developed throughout the 2010s and was first named cottagecore on Tumblr in 2018. The aesthetic centres on traditional country clothing, interior design, and crafts such as drawing, baking, and pottery and are related to similar aesthetic movements such as grandmacore, farmcore, goblincore, and fairycore.


The tenets of cottagecore can help to satisfy its proponent's desire for "an aspirational form of nostalgia" as well as an escape from many forms of stress and trauma. 

•What is the meaning of the pursuit to live a cottage core/Victorian lifestyle, and why, when onlookers observe those who exhibit a different lifestyle, they may find it a bit odd? 


I've spoken previously in other posts that the logic for my living olde timey is that from the outset, I've always been this way since I was a small girl. Thus, for some time, I strayed from my inner truth of what I truly wanted for my life. Honestly, at the time, I felt it might be impossible to accomplish, mainly because the person I was married to at that juncture was adamant that as long as we were married, my desires to live old-fashioned were constantly squelched. Nonetheless, I would also like to state that I did not divorce my ex-ill-suited mate because of my desire to live the old-fashioned way (not entirely), but it was definitely one of the many things that built up the brick walls of my resentment. At varying stages of my life, I constantly attempted to return to my old-fashioned living. However, I had a bit of a crawl, and often, onlookers had much to say about my aesthetic. I was an insecure young woman, and because of that I allowed others' opinions to get the best of me for many years. 

Nevertheless, my transformational voyage began four years before my son's passing. I had finally decided I would divorce the olde sod, and when I leapt, that was the start of me living life on my terms. That does not mean I accept nor believe everyone must throw caution to the wind and divorce their mate to live a dream; however, within my soul, I knew I was finished and had been for more than a decade. A woman knows when her soul has begun the descent into decay, although the clock chimes differently for every individual. Coupled with my decision to divorce as you might well imagine, when my son (at the young age of 24) made his transition, I gave rise to self-resolve and invariably live my truth even if it was unwanted or scoffed at by others, which was the most challenging decision as my daughter was 16 when I left my marriage.


Many mothers would not have done what I did, and I know I felt the anger and hostility from women directly telling me that I was an unfit person for abandoning ( yes, they used the word abandon) my children. Although all of my children had left home to live independently, and my daughter was 16, I hardly feel I left them so vulnerable. But scoffers there will be, and I pay no mind to them. If someone is going to judge me, let them. I ignore everyone anyway if they are terrible and unkind characters because what they think of me is irrelevant. Today, after years have progressed, I would now say, watch what you do and say. For, sure enough, I know these same people who passed unkind rulings on me are currently experiencing horrific karmic debts of similarities in how they judged me. Although most folks in this forest of fools believe they can prattle (what they feel is harmless chatter) by gossiping about another, I am giving a solemn candid reminder and profound caution that those folks will experience a karmic debt intensively. Not only will it come to pass, but the bounce back will be 70 times 70 and worse than ever. Trust me, I know from experience. I felt the heat because I once judged constantly (all be it secretly, I thought nothing of it because I was chatting behind their backs). Little did I understand the law and that what we do privately will be revealed openly, and indeed nothing is more difficult to endure than having to eat crow. It did not feel good to know I was the consequence of my demise and misery until I understood universal law. Therefore constantly be mindful that there is no respecter of persons. We all reap what we wield. So, yes, my friends, I am sending out a cautionary tale; let us be mindful of our internal conversations. 


I determined to never return to my olde self. How might one begin anew if constant tethering to the way others would like us to be is neverending? It's not improper to create and become a new version of oneself. It's entirely courageous and requires enormous tenacity even though the forest of fools would strive and warn otherwise. An Additional beautiful reason for my planting myself one step at a time into the 19th-century cottage core lifestyle is that I am an author and illustrator. As early as childhood, when I would wear old-timey Victorian dresses to school, I knew I felt differently. It quickly positions one in a new way of thinking when dressed a particular way. I live and dress according to the era in which my work is composed; the victorian. I heard Johnny Depp confess in an interview that he keeps music in his ears while filming his movies and that we all carry a soundtrack or symphony within. I truly loved that analogy, and it's undoubtedly valid from my perspective. I'm never more in my element than when I have Victorian music or Enya playing in my ears. Likewise, I feel more connected to that place and time. England in the 19th century was and is heaven on earth to me, and because I love it so much, I decided to live in it. Albeit, I am in America. Tasha Tudor said that all one has to say when looked at weirdly is to confess to being an artist and straightaway, the artist can get away with anything. Hence, most folks think we artists have all gone soft in the head anyhow, so why not embrace our peculiar nature. 


If a woman is not self-confident, there will be much mortification while attempting the cottage core lifestyle. When it pertains to the clothing of an old-fashioned or vintage nature, it seems complicated for various women when leaving the confines of their shielded comfort zones. We must create a movement where we all wear our lovely old clothes (any style) and embrace them with enthusiasm. Get to the grocer to collect provisions (and don't forget your baskets); we must go into the world and take on adventures, as Beatrix Potter boldly stated. 


The cottage core movement requires confidence at a deep core level and enormous tenacity. We must learn to live in the world but not of it. Although we choose to live differently, the option cannot be for us to feel confident we all must live our lifestyle only at home or around women that are exactly like us. We cannot all move into caves and live as squirrels. We must brave the world and go out with an adventurous heart. How does one operate today and live in the past, and what is the meaning behind such efforts? Whereas I cannot speak for anyone but myself, I thought it might be within my reach to clarify my purposes so that, as women, we can become more of a fellowship community and less competitive in unhealthy ways. A little competition is relatively healthy in particular settings; however, not when we are all individually attempting a lovely little lifestyle niche for ourselves. That is the time when we should endorse and encourage one another. There's enough unkindness in the world; let us be better than that. 


"Fellowship is heaven, and lack of fellowship is hell." ~William Morris


When one is a bit unusual, it can have a harsh response from other women attempting to live and transition into their individual dream life. I do not for a moment take this topic of cottage core with ease as I believe there are enormous aspects that have yet to be unearthed and looked upon in-depth. To me, cottage core is more than an aesthetic; much more. Along my transition (wearing old-fashioned clothing and living an olde timey way), there was a bit of a backlash. However, after much reflection, I have been put to ease. As suspected, the wicked jealous fairy beast was at the centre of their strife towards me; I know because two of these ladies have since come forward to apologise. Therefore a gentle reminder, dear folks, take score when women begin performing peculiarly towards you or exhibit a bit of recoil, firstly tick off whether you are attracting that retaliation. It may very well be from one inner subconscious belief system. Receive the data courageously (it's alright if we have a few belief narratives to work through). Secondly, endeavour to discern that living a cottage core life may unnerve some folks; however, follow your hearts regardless, understand that's life and get on with it. Not everyone will love us, and that's perfectly alright too.


I highly respect a woman who can admit their failings, and I am happy to report that I have made amends with two of the ladies exhibiting the jealous fairy beasts. One must understand that when a person does something entirely courageous and bold, it can ignite deep internal insecurity within someone. As a gentle reminder, I am cautious not to judge these women, as I now have come round to understand and have compassion. In the past, I was a jealous person. These days I keep a check on my emotions. It is a constructive way of keeping inventory of my fallacies. My employment is to take accountability for my actions mindfully. If I feel a rumbling beneath my feet, I will immediately evaluate if, at some point or another, I can recollect when I had sewn the seed somewhere and at what point. If I am relieved of that matter, I feel happy about the score of my harvest. In the past, I most definitely manifested those envious women; however, I've established all new kindred spirits and friends that I find utterly delightful, warm and cheerful. I have new beliefs imprinted, and I am tickled conch shell pink at approximately a year now, and I never have female relational issues with women anymore. I want you to know how peaceful that feels in my soul. I truly am an entirely different person. I have true pals now; we genuinely adore and encourage one other. I also manifested that I would have deep (long-lasting) connections and a new way of viewing women's friendships, which are illustrated these days at a constant.

Speaking of which, I have a new pen pal and am so happy. Do you enjoy pen pals? I am plotting something lovely for Stillwater-A Petticoat Society very soon. 



•How does one create the atmosphere of old-fashioned cottage core living I am striving for when loved ones are affected by those decisions, and how does one navigate the many currents through the transitional process? I will answer to the best of my ability from my perspective.


I believe it first begins somewhere in childhood when as a small girl, I possessed a curiosity for the oddity of things. I was never one to ask typical questions; I was inquiring about oranges when others examined apples. It begins early for each of us; however, through research and scrutiny, I have found that desires defer around the ages of 11-13. Of course, every human being is unique with varying circumstances. Still, this deferring occurs in children in home environments where there is not a united effort nor large amounts of attention from both stewards equally (male and female). This age is very telling in childhood psychology. At that age, we will soon be teenagers (but not entirely), which is relatively conflicting. We have a strong desire to develop independence yet also yearn to be part of a peer group. We seek to identify with who we are and often borrow society, such as pop culture, to define ourselves, especially if we never bond firmly with our guardians. This feat is precisely why many youngsters look to celebrities or their idols for guidance in identity measures themselves. So, for example, I was in a home where my mother nurtured my imagination. I was also the only girl, and we lived in the country, which meant I didn't have many peers to fidget with, and I was a very reserved and quiet little girl. (I know, right, don't say it.) Smile, wink, wink...No, in all seriousness, early on, I was shy to a profound degree. And shall we ignore that I demonstrated red hair, fair skin, freckles and wore glasses as early as 2nd grade? They were not such great confidence builders in the '70s. 


Although my circumstances dealt many a blow with my father's alcoholism (he's been a recovering alcoholic for over 40 years) and my mum's insecurity from relying on my father's breadwinning, she was a stay-at-home mother. She spent enormous time with me, nurturing my wild notions and expecting me to demonstrate tremendous independence. I grew up with rare outside influences, minimal television, and spent all my childhood reading and being in nature with a farming (remember my post about our neighbours, dear ole Kate & family that lived as Victorians) mentality. There was never a lack of creativity. The Carter philosophy is heavily artistic and enormously inventive. My landed gentry hails from Sussex, so there's an enormous intertwining of tradesmen, a guild of handicrafts weaved among my lineage. There is also a heritage of rebellion and ingenuity of invention. I'm confident I was born with that requirement to be distinct.


•Where from which do our desires stem?


Desires originate from our higher inner conscious, the God aspect of ourselves. It's spurred on by the more profound inner knowing of our souls wishing to acquire something distinct, whether living old-fashioned or on Mars. It is because deeply embedded within our higher consciousness, we remember at varying moments of our mortal life that there is a predisposition for what we know of ourselves on a level other than this world in which we now dwell. This topic is a deep conversation, and why I will need this to be a series of posts and not simply one long one. 



The desire to live and dwell in the 19th century requires commitment in personal focus, specifying vastly on the lifestyle one is toiling away at achieving while not becoming a force-driven conclusion to try and persuade everyone else to try one's lifestyle on for size. A particular person desiring such a way of living for themselves (such as myself) had to accept and learn to navigate my voyage without disrespectfully infringing on others who felt no need or desire to jump aboard my ship of 19th-century living. I admit that before I understood Neville Goddard's teaching of EIYPO (everyone is you pushed out), I was that woman. If I was onto a new approach to anything, I had to try and convince others to be the same as me. This controlling nature occurred because I didn't love myself completely, and I was quite an insecure individual. Those who live in fear have an enormous need for strength in numbers. Many religions desire to control and indoctrinate youngsters (especially girls) early on to try and keep them submissive. However, the underlining truth for many religions is to build up a church, which relies on money to bring about a cause through many people. They rely heavily on strength in numbers and use fear tactics to hold folks into compliance. Once a person becomes independent of needing validation and support from others, they become a dangerous thing to behold. Mind you, I speak from personal experience, and I am not ever going to hold grudges or anger and resentment towards folks in my old faiths that were unjust, but I will share my truth with you as I see fit. It's imperative to share my journey from a scar perspective and not my wounds. At the end of play, once one is a part of any denomination, rules are followed based on morality codes and letters of the law. That is the way it works. It's subtle and interwoven in great degrees. I will caveat that not all folks apart of religion are this way; however, in my four decades of two entirely different faiths (Pentecostal and Mormonism), I saw the same things repeatedly. Although I have also come to understand the part I played. I was raised to believe that there are others above me and there is a patriarchal high arc, so of course, because I believed that way, I had to experience that precisely. Once again, I am everyone pushed out, so I had to live that belief. If you don't know what I mean when I say everyone is you pushed out, swim on over and read this article and it will assist in understanding what I am trying to teach. However, I know better now, and those beliefs are dead and gone.


I refrain from attempting to put out the flame if one or more family members are not on deck with my ideas. We all have a right to live how we please, and simply because one person craves the Victorian lifestyle (such as myself) does not mean that my mate can't have an entirely different set of desires and accomplish them too. I used to believe that if i wanted to live old-fashioned and my mate wanted to travel the world and live in a high rise, that was an impossibility. I realise that was a narrow-minded way of thinking. The attempt to make everyone conform to a narrative overseen by coercion is unnatural. However, I will caveat that statement with the law of assumption rule. If we desire for our family/loved ones to be on board, we can use the law of assumption, perform a tiny technique of living in the end and there you go; before you know it, you shall have your desire. Everyone, you out picture joining forces of an old-fashioned way of life will be along for the voyage. Honestly, dear friends, my objective for this blog, my writings and books are to bring to light that women know who they really and truly are, which are the Gods/ Goddesses of their reality. It is just a bit difficult for a woman to know what to actually do to change their life if they do not first know what is actually transpiring in their mental state and creating their subconscious behaviours. We have to understand where our self-concepts come from and then how to change them. 


I believe many of us desire a more rural and traditional cottage core way of living, even men. The objective, though, is to bring about change where the immediate attachment to such a lifestyle does not straight away tick off as a religious sect. In my opinion, nor does a cottage core lifestyle equate to submissiveness simply because we desire a rural lifestyle. There is a place for all of us; it's archaic and small-minded to demand it is an all-or-nothing stance. That is a limited way of being and one I wholeheartedly disagree with at the core, and I feel that change is here. Suppose I have to do it myself. I believe deeply in this movement, and I have taken much of my example from examining Tasha Tudor since first learning of her at 14. Suppose there's ever a person that was the epitome of cottage core; it would have to be Tasha Tudor. However, we must pick up the torch and carry on the legacy now that dear olde Tasha has passed. 


To me, tete-a-tete, when I was married to ye olde sod, I went on overwhelming movements and moments where I longed to live over 100 years ago. I had great success, but my error was always trying to change my outside world. Once I internally changed who I was, I was free. When I finally understood and worked from the inside, I became the woman I had always been, and it stuck. There were no more fluctuations. I was confident in my decisions and no longer flip-flopping back and forth, dependent on moods. I see this very often with women, and that is not judgement. It's my observation, and I know where it stems from because I did this exact thing for decades. The struggle is within and displayed externally because of an insecurity matter. I was at a younger age (around my 20s) when it began, when I would start sewing and making all manners of calico dresses and old-fashioned attire and felt everything about my old-fashioned lifestyle worked. My home was all cottage core; however, going out in public in my attire (olde timely clothing), I received enormous disapproval from my spouse and others. Yes, again, because I was insecure in many ways. Now reminiscing, I know it is controlling; nevertheless, when a person is in it at a young age and brought up a submissive and entirely insecure girl, the subtly is so slow and inconspicuous that it remains undetected for many decades.


In my experience, when someone oppresses another, there aren't outright literal insults; it is more subtle disapproval in that there are passive-aggressive remarks, tactical statements and ways to show gestures of disgust, disapproval and embarrassment. It's mental abuse at its finest, and when you are an insecure being, that type of mind manipulation works entirely in favour of the one manipulating. I must also caveat the last few sentences because it took several years before I could take accountability for myself and heal myself from within. For a few years, I was in the mindset of blaming my ex-mate for my mistreatment. Now that I am 50, I am transparent enough to own my portion and take responsibility. The reason for my divulging this information is to set the stage and help my readers to understand all of this mental anguish has a great deal to do with why so many women struggle to live out their passions and dreams, especially the folklore, cottage core lifestyle. We as women must take responsibility and ownership of our own lives and overcome the stereotypical way the world has operated thus far. We must be the women to create the change. It begins with us. It starts at home, yet the unorthodox mentality moves it from just being a movement we enjoy in the comforts of our homes. It's not enough to stay inside our homes, but we must become bold enough to be examples of this action out and about in the world. Tasha shared once that her children would walk behind her because they were embarrassed by how she dressed. She said she had the last laugh because they were happy to announce that Tasha Tudor was their mother once she was a famous author-illustrator and icon. Tasha Tudor exemplified cottage core; she wasn't afraid to dress like a pioneer woman (in front of everyone) regardless of what others would say) and it had nothing to do with being a Christian. In fact, Tasha Tudor, just like Beatrix Potter, and I are not religious women, but most people wouldn't know that unless they've studied it in depth. The notion that everyone attempts to attach the cottagecore slow living movement to being religious must become slated as old news. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being Christian (I love my Christian friends), but there's a need for a newer and fresh way of viewing things. Olde fashioned dress and cottage core living is not a religious sect. I'm not speaking of this negatively; I am attempting to make a bold statement that we must stop labelling folks, dismissing women and treating other women with contempt if they aren't exactly alike. I assure you that most women who enjoy the same things I do are more similar to me than not; however, for many years, I was dismissed for prevailing in confidence and possessing a forthright personality, most especially after leaving theology. Frequently insecure women are held back from a league of beliefs that women should be submissive (especially to men). They exhibit a compelled nature to judge other women who bolster self-confidence. One of the most prominent niches it begins with is Instagram. I have a little prediction. There will be a movement where wholesome, cottage core, old-fashioned down-home kindness, and adoring affection becomes the most significant movement of all time. I know because I am doing it. 


Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx


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