SOCIAL MEDIA

The Art And Beauty Of Self~Love {Why You Don't Have It And How To Regain It}

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

My dear friends,

It seems since Sawyer's passing, I have had many women and young folks reach out to me, with sentiments of sending well wishes, and deep compassion. I am indeed appreciative, I couldn't feel more love from my fellow being than now. You/ they have been so very kind and loving.

It has unravelled a feeling of comfort, that women feel they might confide in me. It has afforded me an excellent way to connect with them. One of my soul purposes is to inspire women and children around the world, to believe in themselves; to undoubtedly convince them that nothing is impossible. They can be, do or have anything that their dear hearts desire.

So, today, I thought I might share a bit of my voyage back to self-love. Once you re~awaken your feelings of self-love, you will then be able to unapologetically, take back control of your life.


So often when I think about the topic of self-love, it's misunderstood by many.


Self-love has nothing to do with being conceited, selfish or the ego. Real self-love means not just loving yourself on the outside, but most assuredly on the inside. The inside being of most considerable importance.

The English Settlement foundation curriculum is at the cornerstone, based on self-love.


Self-love is internal. I raised my children the very best. I always taught my children to reach inside themselves and to be confident about who they are on the inside before they dare try and work on attempting to "fix" their outsides first.

I want to preface that anything I am saying in this post has nothing to do with judgement. I could genuinely care less about what other people do. My desire with this post is to break down the reasons people do what they do. Most often, we begin trying to change things first, from the outside instead of from the inside.

I, for one, will be the first to admit, we all do the things we do because we believe that in the doing, or having them it will make us feel better.

There are many reasons why it has been challenging to have self-love and here are a few:


1. You were raised in a dysfunctional environment. Those that represented your role models as a youngster devalued individuality, and there were strict family roles. {In my family, The man was the maker of all rules and women were of lesser value, and not able to make big or critical decisions.}

2. Your negative life experiences reinforced the belief that you were less than, inadvertently preventing you from faith in yourself. Your true inner mermaid of power and beauty feels unreachable.

3. The influence of the media is heavy~laden. Television shows, movies, ads, youtube channel content creators, and Instagram celebrities stir feelings of insecurity.

4. Most folks in society reinforce inauthenticity, low self-esteem, and poor decision making. These type of people are the piranhas; feeding the frenzied cycle of insecurities and confusion.

5. You're allowing your daily habits, commitments and life choices to control your thoughts; therefore, you don't take the necessary time to meditate/soul search to unearth who you indeed are. Thus, Self-love henceforth evades you.

One of the best ways to rebuild self-love is to begin meditating. I think that too often, in an attempt to inspire others, many spiritual teachers give a long tally list, and the student becomes overwhelmed. This is a subject that is an attempt to unearth and completely change your life from the inside out. So, I believe simplicity is best. We have to begin someplace that is easy to take on. So let us start with the habit of meditation, and later we'll go from there, yes?
{I made this meditation video, several years ago, and plan to revise it once my signage comes in, but this is still a good one to follow. Also, I am tickled conch shell pink to get the signage for The English Settlement. I found the artist Christina Blackledge from viewing Robin Brown's signage for her Flagship Store and Magnolia Pearl clothing. Whereas I am an artist myself, I believe we should support others in our same field. It's so important to give resources when we are capable.}


I look forward to hearing about your meditation practice and how it's going for you. Please feel free to reach out with any questions.


Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

Blogger Technical Issues

My dear friends, 

I am currently trying to unfold the reason the font on my latest blog post keeps reverting back to the smallest font. It's disturbing me much. 

Thank you for your devoted patience. I surely think this solidifies I am ready to convert the website completely over to WordPress very soon. 

A Mermaids Meditation Practice

Monday, August 5, 2019
Updated: August 5th 2019

New website forthcoming!

My dear friends, 

As many of you know I began practising the Law of Attraction {Abraham Hicks}several years ago, I also started a practice of meditating.

Meditating when you first hear of it, I bet it pretty much sounds like some crazy woohoo stuff. I was never quite familiar with meditation the way that Abraham Hick's teaches. I've gone to her Workshops in Orlando, Florida, and they are lovely. If you would ever like to know what it feels like to understand the feeling of speaking face to face with God, that's pretty much what it is. It's the best feeling you could ever experience.

When you habitually practise meditation, that's the same feeling you'll get, right in the comforts of your own home. You will feel and recognise the mastery of direct connection with Source/God/Universe.

I wanted to share my Meditation practice with you, in case you'd like to take on the challenge or begin incorporating the practice of Meditation into your own life.

Today I'm super excited to explain the scales/steps of meditation to you. For those of you that would rather watch my video, here's that on my YouTube channel video link.

So let's begin.


What is Meditation

Meditation takes us back to the core vibration that is unchallenged by the beliefs keeping us from what we want.

There are many forms of meditation out in the Universe. Some gurus say you should meditate for a long time, or no longer than a few minutes. I'm going to use this post to break down MEDITATION  incrementally through the practices of Abraham Hicks Teachings.

I only practice what I preach. I have been meditating the way Abraham Hicks recommends for over four years, and in my opinion, it's the perfect formula.

One of the main things I hear women say when considering meditation is that they find it tough to sit still and be quiet. They get antsy, fidgety, or restless. Basically, they can't shut down their mind.

It's very accurate in the beginning. Just even the intention to meditate and sit still has resistance.

We want to quiet our conscious minds enough so that the non~physical mind is purely focused on all that we've become and the wholeness of who we are. If we can find a way to tune into it. The vibrations will begin to turn into thoughts, and when those thoughts come, you will feel and understand, the pleasure and satisfaction of feeling.

Not to be distracted by reality, but to experience the whole of our vibrational reality.

What's in our VORTEX will come through our non~contradicted minds.

Our minds have been trained to be responsive to our conditions around us, that's why initially it may be difficult to meditate.

We must focus on quieter.

MERMAID MEDITATION: 
♡ Wear comfortable clothing. Light a candle.

♡ Quiet your surroundings.


♡ Use an App with the sound of waves or a water drop from a faucet.


♡ Gather your notebook for your writing Art Of Appreciation {Etsy Shop} after meditation ends.


♡ Apply dōTerra essential oils on your reflexology points{Behind your neckline, thumbs, and earlobes} I use Balance, Frankincense, Intune, Geranium, and Lavender. I have some beautifully blended meditation notes {The Mercantile: Alchemy}in roller balls that I sell in my Etsy shop.


♡ Gather your crystals. I decide on what crystals I'm feeling drawn to on that day, so the crystal selections vary for me.


♡ Set a timer for 15 minutes. You never need to meditate longer than 15 minutes. Actually, Abraham recommends that you don't stretch it further than that.


♡ After you start your timer, begin listening to the sound coming from your app. Really focus on the music. Take 3 breaths in and five breaths out. Keep doing this, and you'll begin to feel yourself transition into a meditative state. Your head may even start to move in a circular motion. You're in pure alignment.


♡ If you start to think thoughts other than the sound of the waves or the music of the dripping faucet, which you will just keep bringing yourself back to the sound. Each time your thoughts wander, keep the focus by bringing yourself back each and every time.


♡ After your timer ends, what source will do, is lead you to the first impressions from pure alignment.


♡ Don't be surprised of what Source will guide you towards, even if it seems peculiar. Abraham speaks candidly in many of her videos about after her meditation practises. On one occasion, she was led to move furniture around in her California home. If you want to listen to Abraham Hick's Youtube video here, this one is of her speaking of that particular meditation.

I genuinely hope this served you, and that you can feel enthusiastic and happy about meditation.

I just know that if you try it, you will LOVE the practice.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

Leaving A Legacy And The Introduction Of The English Settlement

That's our dear Sawyer to the far left holding Zoe Kennedy's hand, wearing suspenders {he insisted in wanting to be different even on that day.}. I relish in those memories. Happy tears...

My dear friends, 

I posted a little excerpt onto facebook this morning about my tiny epiphany on leaving a legacy for my precious boy Sawyer. 

As you may well know by now, I find that being able to share my life with you is such a therapeutic approach for my soul's growth. So I thought that I would share with you a few particulars that transpired this weekend.

How To Create A Victorian Period Cottage Kitchen

Tuesday, July 30, 2019

My dear friend, 

Won't you pour a cup of tea and let us visit. As many of you know, I have begun the transformation of converting our Florida stucco home into an accurately Victorian period cottage. 

How My Little Tales Emerge {The Introduction Of The Tale Of Sawyer Lamby}

My dear friends, 

Oh my, where do I begin? I have much to tell you, so might you pour some tea and let's have a little visit with one another. I am having some chamomile with cream, blueberry scones, typing up this post with Miss Potter playing on the television, in the background.

5 Ways To Make A Decision And How To Line Up With It

Thursday, July 25, 2019

My dear friends, 

In 2015, when I left my marriage of 25 years, one of my most significant abilities to create the reality that I so deeply desired, was because I made a decision and lined up with it.

Let me explain. This is an in-depth subject that many women struggle with, so I am going to seek to disembowel it for you and in turn, hope to teach you how to make decisions for YOUR life.

8 Delightful Ways To Live A Victorian Lifestyle

Monday, July 22, 2019
New Website Coming Very Soon!

My dear friends, 

Did you have a splendid weekend? It was a nice one for the gardener and me. We played in the yard and made it a little game to see if we could finish before the rainstorm set in.

As I've been working through my new blog/website, I have been finetuning it, quite a bit. It's been such a delight to work with colours and fonts. I finally found a theme that has an eCommerce store, which will be ever so beneficial for my goods, services and my bespoken original paintings.

I, Too, Am Creating A Tasha Tudor Storybook Life

Thursday, July 18, 2019
My dear friends,

Today and yesterday were very good days for me. I was able to look where Sawyer IS, and not where he WAS. When thinking about the souls that are no longer here in a physical sense, oftentimes, it is difficult to make sense of things, for those left behind. The reason is that we have been taught very early on, that there is a separation; when indeed, there is not. I believe, that too many folks dismiss those moments of communicating with their loved ones, because they believe that once physical death has occurred, a limit has also been placed on our communication with the dead. Since my son's passing, I feel as though, the flood gates of communication have opened~widespread. I feel Sawyer ever more present in my life, even more, now than when he was in physical form.

They'll Be Days Like This

Monday, July 8, 2019
My dear dear friends,

"You're going to have hard days." I've heard that before, haven't you?

A Letter For My Son

Sunday, July 7, 2019

My dear friends, 

My darling son, Sawyer made his transition from physical to non-physical on June 23rd, 2019. He is feeling the sweet rewards of pure positive energy. 

I have been writing each day, since his passing and know he is still very much alive, but in a slightly different way. I plan to share each day with you, my dear readers, in hopes that it may help me with my healing process. Writing is the only thing I know how to do, besides paint; in which, I am doing, as well. The death of a child, I feel is the most difficult of all life's experiences I have had, thus far. However, my greatest desire is to always try to teach and inspire others. I believe that's what I am here for.

Over the years, Sawyer and I would talk about the law of attraction and consistently recognize that there is no death, but only life, and more life. After Sawyer's transition, I heard Sawyer say to me numerous times, "Momma, all that spirituality stuff we had those long talks about, was all true, Momma! I'm pure positive energy, now!"

It is taken me some time to understand this, and honestly, I have dove deeper into Abraham Hicks material as a greater desire to more fully comprehend physical death. If anything, I want to be able to help others, {mothers, especially} and to have an understanding of what is beyond the veil of physical existence. And how I can more fully communicate with my son on the non~physical side.

I have not yet come to terms with it, but I do feel confident that I will. For, if there really is no death, but only life and more life, there is a way for me to find Sawyer where he is. He is always with me. I used to hear that all of the time, but until I experienced the physical death of my son; did I truly recognize what that meant. I believe I am able to handle my son's transition because I deeply understand what life is truly about. The all-powerful and knowing settles my heart and mind with enormity.

I catch glimpses all the time of what Sawyer must be experiencing, and that gives me a great sense of pleasure. I have spirit guides, and now I feel Sawyer being the next logical step in joining together as my spirit guide, too. I find myself asking him questions and appreciating him daily. He is very clearly interested in my life, and what I am up to. I know; that in time, Sawyer will help me with my very own resistance to physical death.

Sawyer is leading the way for me. I know and feel very confident that I will find the way. I have confidence in myself, and I can feel the love of Sawyer. He is sending me clues; and finding the fun. He was playful in life, and he still carries that character now. I feel him all around me.

I am eager about what is ahead. I don't know how it will all transpire, but I feel confident it will be a delight. Sawyer will help me write my children's books, and I am sure they will become very successful. He has an advantage. {wink, wink}

I wanted to thank each of you for your kindness, and the outpouring of love for me. You continue to be extraordinary folks, and I love you each, dearly.

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

I have started a gofundme account. It was initially for me to travel to Oklahoma to gather Sawyer's belongings. I drove Sawyer's truck back to Florida. He worked hard to acquire his truck; it was his pride and joy. I wanted to bring it back to Florida, as it's the only possession I have left. Sawyer had a remaining note on his truck, and I would like to pay it down. If you feel inspired; I would greatly appreciate any donations. The truck is purely sentimental, and I deeply want to keep it. I know to most, it's "only" a truck, but to me, it's the only thing I have left of my darling baby. Thank you, my dear sweet friends. 


https://www.gofundme.com/f/raquel-staffordmother-of-sawyer-english

Go Fund Me


The Mermaid And The Gardener~ Introduction And Scale 1 { A True Love Story Never Ends}

Thursday, June 27, 2019
Well, I've gone and done it again! I'd like to just crumble into a ball and cry. I spent 6 hours writing the introduction, and the first chapter of my love story and it disappeared. I worked for an hour to try and retrieve it. I'll attempt to remember what I had written before, and hope to do it justice. 


Ye Ole’ B~Log And I Had a Brain Wave Of An Idea

Monday, June 24, 2019
My dear friends, 

Oh, my word! Would you mind indulging me for a few minutes, while I spout off at the mouth? I happened upon my old, (as that crust that's on the bottom of that tray, that slides out from your toaster) blog. I should probably archive that blog, and put it out if its misery. Trust me. It's for your own good and mine, too. But, honestly, I will say that after reading it from beginning to end- minus the writing typos- I AM a good writer. I must admit it, and funny, too. I think, anyway.

Maybe, that's been my dilemma with my blog, as of late-I've not written with much surrealism. Not because I don't enjoy a little surrealism; because I do. You wanna know the truth of it?

{I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRITE IT OUT GRAMMATICALLY!} There, I said it.

Dear, baby Jesus; WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?

That's who I am in real life; so, maybe I should be myself and just write as I speak. I remember years ago on the blog, (Pioneer Woman), she gave her blogging secrets; and one thing she said was: write like you're speaking to your sister, unless, you don't like your sister, or you don't have a sister. I thought that was great advice, even though; I don't have a sister. Out of the mouths of blogging babes. 

Basically, she's saying, speak as you do in real life. I still remember her saying that, and that was like, a billion years ago.

I do use words like lackadaisical and forlorn, just because; I really love words. Always have. Always will. I write a new word on the fridge every week, and the gardener and I try to use it as much as possible. I used to do this when I homeschooled my children, too.

I'm talking about the blog, again, now.

The saddest part is that I didn't keep going with my blogging. I could kick myself for that; but, I can't live in regrets. I'm actually hoping that my writing skills are just like my mermaid skills. I could leave swimming for 20 years and still swim 4 football fields in 11 minutes top. Trust me, I can do that. Just recently, in fact.

I got skills with mermaid gills. Woot, Woot!

Hold the phone; while I pat myself on the back, in a BRAGGADOCIOUS fashion {I told you this already, I like big words and I can not lie}!

Onto other fragments of my brain.

I have a question to ask of you.

I wrote the first chapter of the BG {Beloved Gardeners} and my (or wait- is it me, instead of my) love story. I'm confused. Oh, Grammerlyyyyy, where art thou? {Big yellow alert circle, stating I have a misplaced word, I see you over there.}

Wanna read it? That is. The love story.

About me and my gardener? Huh, huh, do ya? 

I was thinking to ask you, how should I title it? I was planning to write you a chapter a week, on top of my regular scheduled posts.

It's mostly for you darling folks that don't give a rip about my pearls of wisdom but, prefer a little love story.
Do you enjoy a good story, about love; especially, in the summertime? I know, I do. 

Anywho... What I thought I could do was to list a few options, and you name the series or chronicles for me. Would you do that?

Are you game, friends? Let me know in the comments; and I will think of, say- 3 choices? I could then do a little painting give~away, too. That might be fun. Whadda ya think?

Also, just wanted to share with you some little pre-painted pieces I'm working on. If you see something that you think you might like to have, let me know. I'll post them tomorrow fully painted. mm...kay? 
Most affably yours til' my next swim, Raquelxxx

My Fountain Runneth Over {And Little Women/ Mermaidling Paintings Update}

Saturday, June 22, 2019

My dear friends,

What a week this has been. I would indeed love to flourish you with dainty words and happy thoughts, for I have had an epiphany! I have been taken up for the last few weeks, through some deep and consistent meditation, and I feel ready for many new adventures. I feel a new lease on life, dear friends.

The summer days are upon us; I am as bright~eyed and bushy-tailed as they come.

I feel excited about the new ideas I have for my blog's future, authorship and my artistry. I am hoping to receive many more commissions for my Little Women/ Mermaidling paintings. I really miss the happy days of waking up, throwing the covers, and walking to my treasure room for the day of splashing paints about and rabbit undertow. The sounds of Debussy on the gramophone and the cool breeze blowing through the lace curtains. Is there anything more magical? I don't believe so. A sweet friend of mine sent me a message about painting little commissioned place cards and menu sheets. She said she would gladly pay for them, as she has many dinner parties. A pretty little place card would be such a delight at each plate. It reminded me of my dear, Beatrix Potter. Painting greeting cards and place cards are just how she began her career, too.

I wrote about my little commission pieces a few moons ago, but I was a bit lackadaisical in my efforts of promotion. I shall improve, indeed.

If you are curious about my paintings; below is a description of what I do to make each painting. I used to be on Etsy, which I may be for a bit longer; however, my new website will have an e~commerce store called; The Mer~Cantile. Its a little play on words for mermaid + mercantile, such as the Victorian days. Isn't it delightful? I used to have a little craft booth in the year 2000 with the same name. I sewed and made all of my items from yo-yos. Do you recall the yo-yo? It is such a sweet form of quilting. I should like to make a quilt for my sleeping room. It's very time consuming, but I love it ever so much. Have you ever made anything from yo-yos?

Little Women/ Mermaidlings 



An original custom Mermaidlings/Little Woman illustration is 4" x 6". Each little painting is in sepia ink and painted with watercolours. I infuse the paper with aged seaweed, flower tinctures and floral notes; that I've personally created from my garden here at Staffordshire Cottage. My water has been charged with crystals of rose quartz and moonstone. I believe that sending my paintings into the universe with a little magic adds a touch of love to all those that purchase my art.  Each painting is $20.00 sand dollars. My paintings have begun to have more detailing, and with the extra details, I have decided to add on a dollar per detail/pet. So, for instance, if you'd like a pet added, that will be an additional dollar.

Each painting comes with a hand-selected shell; that I have collected from years of beachcombing.

I am looking forward to painting for you. Last year, I had the opportunity to paint Christmas cards, addressing them with calligraphy and wax seals. They were exquisite and so beautiful, with the little added touches of gold leaf, they turned out beautiful. Another idea is to memorialise your pets. I have done many of those; they seem to be a real pleaser.

Send me your request by emailing me at Raquel@Raquelcarter.com
and I shall have a whale of a time painting for you!

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

How A Mermaid Writes And Illustrates A Storybook

Friday, June 21, 2019
My dear friends, 

Well, I've done it! You may have noticed that in a bid to become the world's most popular blog consisting of the words Victorian and mermaid, I managed to go through my posts and rename them- at nausea! I'm well aware, it may seem like a bit much. However, I am always, a bit much, and you know this about me already.

How A Victorian Mermaid Cares For A Cottage Bunny And {Sir Oliver Twisty Topsy's Tale}

Saturday, June 15, 2019


My dear friends,

Upon learning that I have a cottage bunny, I've begun to have numerous 'rabbit care' requests. So, I thought it'd be a lovely trip down memory lane, to tell of Oliver's story; as well as, elicit some helpful information.

How A Landlocked Mermaid Makes A Wattle Fence {For Your Victorian English Cottage Garden}

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

My dear friends,

Today is being spent indoors; garden planning with my dear ol' spirited friend, Beatrix Potter.

Yesterday, all through the weekend, and today, I'm using my time wisely, as today marks a week of daily rainstorms. The frogs love it, with their croaking and ribbeting. This is how I imagine the frogs in this type of weather. Dear Ms Magadalene, isn't she a sight with her apron, and bonnet atop her head?

Writing Tips From A Victorian Mermaid,{And For Old~Fashioned Writers}

Monday, June 10, 2019

 My dear friends, 

As you may know, I've been in the woolliest portion of writing my next tale, inspired by my most affectionate hero, Beatrix Potter called, "The Tale of Henny Penny Goody Two Shoes.

Why A Landlocked Mermaid Has An Emotional Affair {And What All Affairs Mean, According To Me}

Thursday, June 6, 2019

My dear friends,

Well, I'm going to assume that you clicked onto my post, strictly because of the title, am I right?

As a writer/ blogger putting my life and personal experiences out into the universe are something I actually take pride in; if you want the truth. Because in my lil' humble opinion, all too often, I see bloggers holding back. Now- that's not to say that, every blogger out there needs to spill their guts, but for all that is holy- let's be a little more forthright and transparent, shall we?

I can tell right away when a blogger is not letting their truth shine. Perhaps, I need to take a swim stroke backwards- because I feel dagger eyes. Heh... No, truthfully, all I am saying, is that I want to read a blog and feel I can relate to the writer. If you are going to give me fluff and stuff, I can swim on over to Instagram and find that hashtag surface, hashtag fake, hashtag not real, by the truckloads.

In my life, many have judged me for sharing so much here on my blog {my family included}, even to go so far as to tell me, I should be ashamed of myself for what I write. They feel it's a betrayal and that I'm shedding a negative light on the family name. I have no quorums about sharing MY TRUTH. That's what a writer does.

Furthermore, I have the most positive feedback from women that tell me, they are so happy that I am sharing things that would otherwise be left unsaid. I wanted to preface, too, that I share for my healing, and expansion, as well as, give encouragement to other women that may have struggled, like me. It's never for salacious or cruel intentions; only for expansion and personal growth.

Now, let's have a go, shall we?
The emotional affair occurred in 2009. There were no sexual relations {cue the Bill Clinton tapes}, but an affair is an affair if you ask me. Anywho, I had been married at this point for 18 years. I am not, nor have I ever been the flirty type. In fact, I was strict, by the bible, that always admonished my ex to be mindful of his actions with the opposite sex. I used to tell him, even the appearance of adultery is a bad thing. Let's be clear, here, I know that no matter what we as women do or say in a marriage, won't mean a thing if there is no respect. That means for ourselves, our partner or the union of marriage. If a man or woman is going to cheat, they will find a way. No amount of control will stop either of them.

My ex is in the entertainment industry, so, needless to say, I was insecure from the get-go and then to add the entertainment industry on top of that, only spelt disaster. Not because of entertainment per se, but the lacking of self-worth. My ex-husband was always a flirt, {and later I would uncover that he was a philandering adulterer}. Listen up, ladies, if you start dating a man, and you have any sneaking gut suspicion that your man may be unfaithful, you should follow your gut, and run for the flipping hills. It'll only progress and get worse. I ignored my gut when the ex and I first got together. There were red flags everywhere, but I was so blissed out, I ignored them. He was always doing things that hurt me. Nowadays, though, I don't beat myself up; in fact, I actually thank the bugger for his philandering ways. He actually helped me to be the woman I am today, by being a complete ass. (eeekkk...)

Read this post {here} That I wrote about mating with your own soul and emotional mirror reflection.

Mmmmkay, back to the subject at hand. What led up to my emotional affair.

He was my ex- husbands friend for over a decade. They were in church movies together; mingling in the same crowd. He spent a lot of time with our family; was single, and an ex-communicated member of the Mormon church. Hence, That's one of the reasons, I think, my ex took him under his wings, so to speak.

Well, as luck would have it, my ex took a trip for work, in the middle of us moving into our newly purchased home. My ex suggested having his friend come to help me with house "stuff."

We had been friends for over a decade, and I appreciated the time he'd spend with me. He'd actually carry on a conversation with me; compliment me, by saying, I looked beautiful in my old skirts and liked all the things my husband was annoyed by. Can you spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R? It all worked out in the end, as it solidified how much I desired to leave the marriage. This was a paramount decision; that actually worked out for me, because things are always working out for us, even when it seems they aren't.
Looking back, after living through the experiences with my ex, he was constantly circumventing. I have often wondered, too, if I allowed that to happen? You know that saying, " people treat you, the way you allow them too?" Yeah, I really believe that! I will say, too, and it may be difficult for some to read; however, I have come to the conclusion that it had to do with the "saviour" mentality. Do you know what this is? Let me explain. My mother exhibits this behaviour, I struggled with it, and many women struggle with it, that have grown up in abusive or alcoholic environments. Women cover for the addict, by constantly making up the difference. It's a self-worth issue on the part of the "abusee". For example, {I'm speaking from experience when I was young}, my father would come home from work, get plastered, and then decide he was hungry. My mother was to wake up {regardless of the time} and make him food. I remember he was so angry after the food was made, he threw the whole pot of food onto the floor. Who do you think cleaned that up, after my father passed out in his own piss? My mother did. But, who do you think comes off as the person to save the day? My mother. She can use the victim card to receive sympathy from others. Thus, all active participants are getting their natural human needs met, even though it's complete dysfunction, it works. I had to retrain myself out of this behaviour, and let me tell you; that when a person has control issues {kids of alcoholic parents}, it's not easy. I had to allow the mishaps to occur and let nature takes its course.

So, for instance, once, when my ex was in a fit of rage, screamed at me because Subway put mayonnaise on his sub sandwich, he threw it against the wall, where it stuck. My little girl began trying to clean the mess, and that's when I lost my mind. That day, the straw broke the camels back. I was seeing the behaviour passed onto my child; through watching me. I began screaming, "over my dead body will anyone but my ex, clean that sub up!" I didn't care if the sub stayed on the wall for 6 months and we had guests coming over. I was ready to let him look like a fool.
Needless, to say, he cleaned the mess, as it was gone the next morning. Now- I know what you may be thinking here, ummm... grrr...CRAZY TOWN! Yes, I know. I don't want you to feel alone if this is, or has, happened to you. The problem is that many want to escape through pretty, frilly things; but, when we get to the brass tacks, we can then begin to heal and move forward. I speak of this because I was this way myself. It doesn't have to be a negative thing to carry for the rest of our lives, and that's why I am sharing it, I feel as though, many women, if they knew why they did things {cover for their mate, or child, for instance}, they might be inspired to change. I truly believe, with all of my heart that the universe allows all sorts of experiences to come to us, not as a way of punishment, but as a way to inspire us to expansion. How else would I have learned? We learn through life experience, that's the only way. I am so appreciative for my experiences, always. It's just a matter of shifting our focus to see all the occurrences with beauty and look at them with a heart of appreciation, instead of, being treated cruelly by a "God" that most humans deem vengeful. That is not who my or your God/Source is. AT ALL!
" I dwell in possibility." ~Emily Dickinson

Yep, I carried that rescue mentality with me into my marriage with my ex. He would act slow-witted, and because I was embarrassed and had low-self esteem, I would make excuses for him. It's an interesting scenario, when we allow others, even those we love very much, to take responsibility for their own lives. Amazing things happen. I believe that we as women must truly work to become self-sufficient and self-confident. That is our sole purpose; to fall, completely and madly in love with ourselves.

And when this self-love transformation occurs within us, women like myself won't need to have some man tell us we're wonderful, and pretty, because we'll already KNOW!


Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

How I Found My {Old-Fashioned, 18th Century, Victorian} Trademark Style

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

My dear friends,

I am happy to report: that I am learning so much about website building, and here's a little snapshot from my iPhone camera, so that you can see how far I've gotten. It may not seem to be much of a change; however, I am going to have a new hosting company, which will make a big difference; especially, with having a drop-down menu. I think I'm most excited, out of everything, about the drop-down menus.

3 Pearls Of Blogging Wisdom From "My Blogging Secrets" By Amber McNaught

Thursday, May 30, 2019


 My dear friends,

You know those moments when the universe sees fit to bring delightful souls into your world, yeah, that would be Amber McNaught. I'm not quite sure how I came to find her, but if memory serves me, I think I was scrolling through the Instagram discovery page {before deleting social media a few years ago}, looking for bloggers, and I'm naturally drawn to a true-blue authentic redhead, such as myself. {That sounds like I'm Mc Judgy pants, but you can read this post if you are curious as to why I am bias}.

How A Landlocked Victorian Mermaid Prunes Her Garden

Wednesday, May 29, 2019
My dear friends,

Won't you pour some tea, and let us have a visit. I have to tell you a short story. So, you know that I am married to a gardener. He's really a horticulturist/landscaper.

The 4 Things I Learned From Blocking People On Social Media {According To A Mermaid's Metaphor}

Monday, May 27, 2019


 My dear friends,

Several months ago, I was put into facebook jail. I know, shocking, right? Well, I used that opportunity to learn something more deeply about myself. It was actually a good thing.

The Victorian Art Of The Unfolding

Thursday, May 23, 2019


My dear friends,

In the past, I was always afraid of taking my writing seriously. The reason being, I have a difficult time with my writing. 

I love English; however, I'm not keen on this process. I feel like I'm back in school. I passed English with flying colours; however, I'll never forget my teacher constantly reminding me that my grammar was not good. Through my life, because of that insecurity, I built a false belief about my intelligence.

The 5 Things All Blogs Should Possess {According To A Victorian Mermaid}

Friday, May 17, 2019
My dear friends,

Pour some tea, and won't you bring your tea kettle? Mine was broken and had to be thrown into the rubbage bin.

As many of you know by now, if you're avid readers of my blog, you know that I've been a blogger for well over 10 years. I wasn't always as serious about my blogging as I am now, and from the archive visual, it appears to be new. After my divorce, unfortunately, I had to start all over from scratch. Which meant, I absolutely cried on the kitchen floor for two weeks because I had lost 10 years of blog journaling. Ten years, you guys! I was devastated. After getting rip-roaring drunk on wine for two nights, I collected myself and went to work determined to learn how to create a new blog. With the help of a google search bar and many YouTube videos I learned it all myself. Needless to say, I'm very proud of my accomplishments. If nothing else, I have learned to never take defeat lying down, nor ever give up.

6 Ways To Scale Your Energy Levels

Tuesday, May 7, 2019
My dear friends,

Won't you pour some tea, and let us have a visit. I think I spoke to you in a few posts previously explaining that I have had anaemia for most of my life. However, I have not allowed that label to define or limit me. I thought this would be a lovely opportunity to share the 6 ways I have been able to scale my energy levels all while maintaining a highly active lifestyle.

But first, I want to talk about the most important element; the internal psychological benefits.

I have always been an energetic person. I'm not sure if it's because I naturally have a rapid metabolism or If I'm just a hyper person.

I first discovered I was anaemic when I was asked by Weeki Wachee Springs to show support to our community by being a blood donor. I had always thought I was a tired soul because I swam so much. It's a known fact that swimming wears a person out. So on my days off from my mermaid performances, I would sleep close to 15 hours straight.

I was actually happy to learn what the issue was, and ever since I have incorporated tiny things to encourage my mental and physical strength. I will also preface that when our bodies need rest it's so important that we heed the call. Do not feel ashamed for needing to sleep. I think oftentimes folks are quick to judge sleep lovers by assuming we are lazy, when in fact, it's our inner being guiding us into alignment towards the path of least resistance.

6 Ways To Scale Your Energy Levels

1.  Zipp Fizz


I have been drinking Zipp Fizz for about ten years. You can find it at Sam's club and Amazon. That's pretty much the only two places I have been able to find it in the last 2 years. I highly recommend this drink especially, if you struggle with anaemia, and if you enjoy a little caffeine pick me up, It has 120 mg. per serving. I'm not a coffee or soda drinker, so this is a staple at the cottage.  Zipp fizz's main ingredient is B12, which is essential for anaemic folks.

Another little TTT {Treasure Trove Tip} is to add some vanilla liquid coffee creamer and voilà it tastes like an orange creamsicle. It's delicious.
Above: the bottles that have my branding labels are the oils I sell in my Mermaid Junkie Mer~cantile.  I have also curated specific ones for myself and my beloved gardener. 
2. Essential Oils

I swear by essential oils. I haven't been on medication in over 10 years, so essential oils are very important to have in my arsenal. I wear and consume essential oils every single day and I love them so much. If you are leery of using essential oils or perhaps you think they don't work, it's because you believe they won't work. Everything we believe is a direct reflection of how we have trained our minds. When I was going through my aromatherapy certification training they state that it takes most folks at least 5 experiences of using oils to be convinced they work. Men are especially reluctant. However, if you try them and do it a few times you'll see they are wonderful. Think about the Egyptians thousands of years ago, to practice aromatherapy was the only way to live.

I am a doterra advocate, so if you would like me to curate an oil specifically for you, I'd be tickled to do so. Not all essential oils are alike. I use only the certified therapeutic grade, which is doterra. It's one of the purest oils in the world.

I advocate that prevention is key. It's much wiser to prevent illness than to have to correct it, once it's gone fully active.

I use essential oils by placing the oils into gel capsules and consuming them that way. Essential oils are very concentrated and powerful. Just to give you an idea of the strength; one drop of peppermint oil is equivalent to 24 cups of peppermint tea. I have been able to heal every ailment my family or myself has had from essential oils. To name a few: urinary tract infection, yeast infection, gall bladder, arthritis, pain injury, cavities, kidney stone, strep throat, migraines, nausea, weight loss, etc.


 3. Supplements

I take a few supplements that are chewy and made up of organic powder from the root of the plant. You can find a few brands in Whole Foods or Sprouts.

I truly believe with all of my heart that if we care and love our bodies, we will be rewarded and our bodies will love us back.

4. My Spinach Lemonade {A Mermaid's Seaweed Smoothie}
I did a separate post on this, so I will just link it here.
I drink loads of water every day. I add essential oils and floral infusions to give me boosts of energy. 
5. Exercise
I find a way to do some sort of activity every day. I don't necessarily do it to stay in shape, I do it for my mental growth and happiness. Exercise increases endorphins and that's the key to making us happy. I love to jog, practice yoga and walk. Those are my favourites. Find things that you enjoy doing and they won't be a chore for you, you will look forward to them.

Try and remember that exercise isn't about looking like a hottie in your swimsuit or shorts. Yes, that is an added benefit, but we should exercise because it creates a beautiful mind. This took me years to learn, and I don't think I truly understood it all together until I began practising the law of attraction. Remember most folks do things for the external factors {payoff}, but we should always strive to make our insides better first and then it will naturally reveal itself externally.

6. Meditation

I'm a huge believer in the practice of meditation. It is so vital to having energy and not just physically, but mentally as well. I have never in my life felt such energy than after I have sat in meditation. A few years ago, I wrote a lovely post about meditation, which I will link here. I think you will really enjoy it.
I shall write again soon. 

Most affably yours til my next swim, Raquelxxx

4 Ways To Scale Your Business

Wednesday, April 24, 2019
My dear friends,

I'd like to speak to you ladies that are interested in scaling your business. I am not attempting to do anything, except to inspire you to align with your goals, dreams and desires. We all have particulars that we want to achieve.

Whether that is turning your blog into a business; writing a book, or selling your art and crafts.

I see many women lead a conversation by saying, "I do this as a side hobby." In my previous marriage, my husband was the means of income, so in essence, I didn't have to worry about making money to pay for necessities such as the mortgage or water bill. Basically, I could play with no degree of stress to provide financially.